New Horizon: Jake's POV
by Darksorceress24
Summary: New Horizon from Jake's perspective.
1. Chapter 1: Coming Home

Chapter 1: Coming Home

I didn't want to be back here. La Push. My home. The noises, the smell, it should all be a good thing. There is so much history here, so much that's happened... But when I look at my house, the Rabbit, all I see are memories. Memories I can't forget—can't erase for a girl who chose a bloodsucker over me. I miss being on four legs. Being back on two just feels wrong. But I had to. I had to come back.

The wedding went fine. Ha…Yeah right. At least I got to see her one more time- _alive_ before that good for nothing— She looked amazing. Everything I could ever imagine and more. She's the most beautiful girl on the planet and she simply can't see it. We danced, even with her two left feet, and it felt great…until she said the bit about the honeymoon. I shouldn't have let it get to me because hey it has nothing to do with me anymore right? But I still can't help it. I love her. How could he be so careless so _selfish_ and want to take advantage of her that way? Makes me sick to my stomach. And _angry_ , so freaking angry because she's going to let him. She's going to let him take advantage of her and then turn her into…the most wonderful girl I've ever met into a –a—a–… Probably best Embry and Quil got me out of there. I couldn't take much more.

Dad was glad to see me. I knew by the weariness in those dark eyes my not being here kept him awake most nights. Luckily it looks like Sue came to his rescue. I owe her for that. Part of me hopes in some way he could understand why I needed to go. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't but I know that I'm bound to get the "she's moved on" and "why do you still have hope" from not just him but everyone. God I don't want to be here but the pack needs me. The minute that leech breaks the treaty we'll be ready. Until then I just need to figure out how to deal. God I hate waiting.

My room is basically the same but all I want to do is tear the posters down. I feel trapped. I need to get out. Just a breather. I'm not going to go for good just walk—yeah a walk. That oughta clear my head right? Why do I even bother lying to myself. It's going to keep hurting. It won't stop. Forever is a long time to hurt but at least I can hate him and hopefully end him. Maybe after he breaks the treaty and I kill him she'll finally come to her senses. A guy can hope.

As I stepped outside into the darkness, I sighed. The moon shined bright as I walked towards the woods. I started running but right as I decided to phase I saw a speck of blonde hair near the trees. Crap. It's that girl from earlier. When Dad, Sue, and I got home I had seen her from not far off. She looked at us but then went down the lane. I didn't really think anything of it then but why is she here now? Is it too much to ask for a little alone time? Maybe if I get her out of here I can finally have some…I slowly moved forward when I heard the rabbit rustle the leaves in front of her. Her entire body tensed from her fingers to her spine. I could see the goose-bumps on her skin. When my foot crunched a leaf she swung around, aiming to clobber me. I caught her fist before I met her eyes. That's when the world ended…or began. I can't be sure.

She gasped in surprise the moment I did. I can't even believe it. I barely have words to describe it but my anger disappeared entirely. Bella, the wedding everything evaporated in that instant as I looked at the short, blonde-haired and blue eyed girl in front of me. Instinctively, I felt as if I had to move closer and _be_ closer to her. And protect her, from everything. Not only that, I know I run a hot temperature but holy crap I'm on fire! What the hell is this!

"You know it's impolite to sneak up on strangers, especially in the middle of the night" the girl quipped.

I couldn't stop looking at her. How is this possible? It's like I saw everything in front of my eyes for the first time. I saw her smile, her laugh and I felt _happy_. To top that off, in my gut I knew beyond all reason that I had to make her the same, happy. Oh no. I know what just happened. I imprinted. Me. With her. Right now. Rarity in this tribe? Please!

When she spoke I snapped back to reality. "So is attacking them," I managed to reply, nonchalantly even with my insides cooking. Who is this girl? I've never seen her before…

"How was I supposed to know?" she said, holding up her hands, "I was simply defending myself. You could've been anyone or anything. No way to tell if you were friend or foe."

I snorted as I replied sarcastically "Yes because the crime rate on the rez' is oh so high."

She rolled her eyes at me, looking straight at me without concern, "Well excuse me, I've only been here a few weeks. I thought…"

She's new here? No wonder this hasn't happened. I only just got back but then who is she? She can't be an outsider…can she? Crap I have no idea what she thinks of me, this town…

"What?" I asked.

"I thought you were a wolf," she replied, sighing and shaking her head.

You've got to be kidding me. I swallowed. Does she know? How can she know? I only just found out…but now she will….she's my imprint. Oh god. I've imprinted. This can't be happening. I stared hard at her as she continued, "I heard howling the other night and knew they were out here and thought one might be about to attack me."

Oh thank god. I mentally released a sigh of relief. Wait… so her plan of attack was to hit it? Is this girl insane? Does no one run anymore?

I raised an eyebrow, "And your plan was to punch it?"

"Not the best plan I admit," she replied, offering a shrug of her shoulders, "But it's better than getting mauled. Besides even though you're a person, I've never met you so how am I to know you won't hurt me? Defending myself is natural. If you didn't want to risk a fist to your face, you could've warned me before just appearing out of thin air."

Oh so she wants to blame it on me?

"Well technically you snuck up on me. This is my land," I answered, gesturing behind me.

"I don't know," she said as she turned back to me, "I can't see anything so what's to say you're just trying to blame this all on me?"

Pointing off in the distance, I said, "See that dark shape that's in the shape of a house? That's mine."

She stood there letting in sink in before giving me the cutest little half-smile—STOP. This is crazy. Don't let it get to you Jake.

"You're right," she apologized with a sigh, "That's your house. I'm sorry for trespassing on your land. I'm still figuring out my surroundings and I guess I didn't pay attention to where I was walking."

Guilt. Great now I feel guilty for pointing out a fact? Well I didn't mean to make her feel stupid. But that's not what I was doing was it? "It is dark out," I offered.

"Exactly so maybe cut me some slack. I'm the new girl in town," She smiled before pausing a second to ask, "Now you know why I'm out here but why are you? Do you normally patrol your land for trespassers at night?"

Hey when did I need interrogating?

"Actually," I said, "You just sort of wandered out here and I _don't_ know why."

Sighing she said, "Couldn't fall sleep so I went out for a stroll. You?"

"I need to have an excuse on my land?"

"No not really," she shrugged, "I just figured it's only fair."

I stared at her. I can't help it. She's just so… _fascinating_. But at the same time I just want to forget all about her. But as soon as I even think of that I feel a little bit sadder. Oh this just keeps getting better and better by the minute. Pausing, I realized there is no reason to be a jerk to her and I shouldn't be. I don't want her to be sad. That thought is a little gut-wrenching as it is. She wants a reason? Here it is. I sighed and answered, "Not tired either."

She sighed, looking up at the stars. The way the moon lit up her face made my insides burn hotter. She's perfect. But so is Bella. Bella. Just keep thinking of her and this won't seem so insane. You didn't imprint. You're just super tired and had a long day and probably just need some sleep, you know, that thing you haven't really gotten in weeks... The girl turned to face me suddenly and asked hesitantly, "So am I bothering you? Do you want me to get off your land this very second?"

YES! Right? NO. Damn. I want to be alone but I want her next to me. This is madness, freaking madness. She should go and in my head I know she should go but everything else is telling me to keep her here. God I want to scream, run, leave and never come back. Why is this happening? Why now? Is this because of Bella? Is this some kind of punishment? But it can't be…no because just looking at her makes me feel—STOP. Don't think about it don't do anything. But I have to say something…maybe I could just leave it up to her… It's about her happiness right? That's what all this is, me making her happy. God I hope she's happy away from me. I glanced down at her and glanced away as I answered, "Doesn't really matter to me. Do what you want."

She didn't move. The girl didn't move. We just stood there in silence. I felt her look at me and not at the stars. I tried to keep my face as aloof as possible. God I just want to be alone but I want her here too. It just happened and already it's driving me insane. I balled my hands into fists, squeezing as hard as possible. Maybe if my hands lose feeling so can I? She continued to stare at me. Now it's just getting weirder by the second. I turned towards her and she darted her eyes away. Raising an eyebrow I said, "What?"

"Sorry," she apologized, sheepishly pushing her hair behind my ears, "I just can't get over how tall you are and how short I am compared to you. What are you, seven feet?"

Trying to make her feel more at ease I offered with a slight smile, "Starting to regret trying to punch me now?"

"Not in the slightest," she answered with a grin, "I could take you."

I snorted to that comment and looked away. This girl is…different. Different in a good way. She's totally at ease with me and me with her and we only just met. At least I have an excuse. What's hers? We stood in silence for a few moments before I heard her say, "Nice night tonight. I love it when the moon looks like that and the stars shine bright. It's the kind of moon wolves howl at. Maybe that wolf I heard will be back tonight."

I flinched a little, I couldn't help it. Why does she keep bringing up the damn wolf? She can't know it was me. She can't even comprehend what I am at this point except a giant silent guy who's probably creeping her out by the second. Through my peripheral vision I saw her glancing back up at the sky and crossing her arms. I saw the shiver but she shrugged it off. Gritting my teeth for a moment of two I said, "Maybe…You cold?"

"A little. Guess the adrenaline is wearing off," Again she smiled and I swear it was brighter than the moon, "I'll be fine. I'm Kelly by the way. Kelly Price, also known as Joe's niece. Sorry I didn't introduce myself sooner because of the whole punch thing."

Joe's niece. Of course. Eric and Kelly. They visited a bunch when they were younger. She was a little older but not much. We might have played together once or twice. I remember those golden curls…now they fall in waves splayed across those shoulders…Focus Jake.

"Jacob Black."

"Nice to meet you Jacob," she smiled though I could swear it was exact the moment she said my name. Did she remember? God I wish this would stop.

"At least now if I trespass again we won't be strangers and no need to pull out a shotgun or anything," Kelly added.

I chuckled. A shotgun on you? Doubtful. I couldn't even think of hurting you. You. A total stranger to me about an hour ago and now someone I can't make leave my head to save my life. Kelly Price. A girl from my past now supposed to be part of my future. We looked at the stars again, both silent. I gave her a couple glances just trying to figure her out. Why her? I need to know her. I used to but that's not the same, she can't be completely the same as she was. Everything, I need to know everything and I need to know _now_. Well it doesn't have to be exactly this second…but maybe it does. She's so beautiful. Probably the most beautiful girl I've ever met. Even more than …Bella. Why did I stop thinking about her? I can't, I **won't** even with this happening to me. She's still the one for me. To hell with what my blood wants. Doesn't what I want matter? But I want this girl too. Irony. I tell Bella she can love two people at the same time and now I'm in the same situation. Well not really. I don't love her. Do I? Just because my blood says yes doesn't mean it's actually me. Bella has my heart, only her. Right?

"Thanks for doing this" she said, almost a whisper.

I almost forgot I was still next to her for a moment strictly because of everything going on in my head. Raising an eyebrow I asked, "Doing what? Not having you arrested for trespassing?"

Kelly laughed then replied, "No, just hanging out here with me without any unnecessary conversation. Since I've gotten here everyone's had to interrogate me and find out everything there is to know about me. It's nice to meet someone who didn't feel they needed to," Before I could respond or think even she added, "I better get back, if I can find my way that is. I need some sleep before the sun comes up this time," she paused a second then smiled, "It was nice to meet you."

She turned in the wrong direction and slowly started walking. She's going to get lost. I can't let her get hurt or not find her way. Leeches could still be around. "You need help?" I said and offered a reassuring smile, "You look lost and you're headed the wrong way. I wouldn't want to have to join a search party."

Turning around Kelly grinned, "Thanks but I shouldn't need any help. Besides you wouldn't join a search party for me. You'd tell everyone I'm fine because of my well-honed self-defense skills."

I chuckled but then answered seriously, "C'mon. I'll help you back."

"It's fine. I have GPS on my phone" She said, pulling it from her pocket.

"Out here it'd be better getting directions from someone who knows the area. Using that you'll end up in the trees."

She laughed. "Fine, we'll do it your way."

I walked her down the lane to her house. I didn't need to talk but wanted to. She didn't want questions though and I didn't want to just talk about the weather. Great. So now I have to learn about her from everyone else who as soon as I phase will now know Jake finally imprinted. Jake finally will give up on Bella. Jake will finally move on. Fat chance. Other than rambling in my head, I caught her short peeks at me a couple times but I didn't know what else to say. She didn't want to share her life story and neither did I. Not yet.

I led her to the front door but she sidestepped me, leading me around back to her window. "First floor is handy for sneaking out late."

"I see that" I answered, watching as Kelly opened the window and climbed inside.

"Thanks by the way, for getting me here I mean. You didn't have to."

"No biggie."

I turned, relieved to finally be able to call it a night yet partially disappointed. The thought of not being close to her suddenly felt like the worst thing I've ever experienced, even worse than my bones being crushed from that leech. What the hell? I am never going to like this.

Suddenly I heard, "Wait."

As I turned back to her she said, "Look, this is probably going to sound incredibly awkward and kind of terribly timed considering your sister is coming but I honestly haven't had a night like this in a while where I could just be with someone and not really feel the need to talk all that much or anything. I've kinda needed it lately. So could we maybe hang out again sometime soon?"

I didn't expect that. Not for one second. But then the idea came. Imprinting didn't always mean love; it's about what the other _needs_. And she doesn't need love or want it, it seems. Just a friend, that's all she wants. I can be that. That's all I need too. I can still worry about Bella and this might not be so bad after all. I saw her holding a breath in, worried about my response. I was about to answer when she suddenly burst out, "Just forget about it. If you uh don't want to it's cool I just thought uh it'd be nice to be around someone who doesn't feel the need to uh know my life story you know? Just never mind. Bye."

She started to shut her window but I held the window with my hand. I smiled at her, something I was doing increasingly more around her as I replied, "We can hang out. I could probably use some of the same. Rachel's coming to stay for a while so we'll get a chance catch up so just say when and where."

"Sure. Great," Kelly beamed as she took out her phone, "Here, put your number in and if you have yours on you I can put mine in."

"I don't have mine on me but if you write it down I'll remember," I said, typing my number in. Little does she know how hard it is to carry a phone around when you're a wolf.

"Okay" She replied and grabbed a pen and post-it. She scribbled down her number then said, "You can call or text. Whichever and I'll do the same."

She handed me the post-it before saying, "'Night Jacob. Thanks again."

I nodded as she shut her window and closed the drapes. Maybe this could work. I imprinted yea, but I just need to be what she needs. A friend. That's doable. Nothing else has to change. Bella is still who I want and I will still fight for her, no matter what that leech thinks. Just now I have one more person to protect. _Kelly._ That's what I'm going to do, protect. Now if only no one else could find out I'd be in much better shape.


	2. Chapter 2: The One Where Everyone Else F

Chapter 2: The One Where Everyone Else Finds Out

I can't believe it. I actually got sleep. I haven't had that in _months_. So what if my dreams consisted of nothing but my imprint? _Imprint._ I still can't wrap my head around it…or should I say _her._ Kelly Price. The one the universe believes is the "One" for me. What does that even mean anyway? The "One"? Soul mates, people who were meant to be together and could never be separated. I always figured Bella was that for me. I mean if the bloodsucker would've stayed away, everything was just like that. Too bad she can't see it. And, of course, it figures that last week on the run I ran everywhere, mentally begging any girl I ran into when I got back on two feet to imprint with me. Anyone; I didn't even care who. Of course then I had no answer. Now I do and I'm kicking myself.

Then last night came the dreams. I swear my dreams only meant to show me what _could_ be not that necessarily _will_ be you know? Kelly and me hanging out, laughing, smiling _being_ happy. So happy I felt everywhere, my skin, my bones, even in my heart … That didn't seem too bad, I could handle that. As long as that was it. But no, of course not. I also saw me going in for a kiss and feeling that familiar feeling when all you want to do is make that other person feel the same way you do, love you like you love them… I'll be damned if I admit I liked what could be possible. Not when Bella's still out there, still with that murderer of a husband about to pick her off. I just need to stick to my plan. Be her friend and just fulfill any need she has in a friend capacity. How hard could that be?

Suddenly, I heard a crash from the kitchen. What the hell? I flew out to find Rachel picking up a pan. She glanced up at me and I smiled, bounding over to her. "Rach," I said, wrapping her into a bear hug, "It's good to see you."

"You too little brother," she said, smiling up at me.

"What are you trying to do?" I said, seeing more than just one pan out.

"Thought I'd make Dad some breakfast, you hungry?"

Out the window I already saw Embry and Quil headed my way. Glancing back at her, "I'm fine. I'll be back later."

"Okay, can't promise there will be anything left."

"No worries," I said, about to leave before I paused for a sec then said, "You know, you could get out for a bit Rach instead of being cooped up here. I know Dad wants to see you but he'll keep you inside forever if you let him."

"Maybe I'll head down to the beach a little later then," she smiled, "Now stop worrying about me, that's my job for you, _little_ brother."

I flashed a quick smile then headed out the door, going to meet Embry and Quil by the tree line. This is it. The minute I phase they're going to know. All my thoughts right there for them to see, the whole damn scene last night and everything along with it. I'm not ready. I can't even begin to think about it. It's bad enough the jabs they're going to give me but wait—they're coming to me. Is there news? It has to be more than a patrol…we do patrols later, closer to night. _It's happened._ He did it on the first night while he was—I balled my fists and grit my teeth. How'd he do it? A freak accident maybe? He certainly is a freak so it would make sense. Or maybe their plane crashed with no survivors? Or maybe they all just disappeared…Balling my fists I ran towards Quil, Embry, and the woods. The minute a reached the tree line the heat surged through me and the shivers until my paws hit the ground.

 _It happened didn't it? Let's go, I'm ready to tear him apart._

 _Whoa slow down Jake. Sam just wanted us to do a quick sweep of the woods._

 _Now? It's daylight._

 _Yeah but with tourist season he wants us to keep an eye out. Plus we don't know if any guests are still lingering…_

 _What's up man you seem a little…out of it._

 _Embry's right…I know with the wedding yesterday—_

 _I'm fine._

 _You weren't then._

 _We know you just want to take the Cullen's down—_

 _Just the one about to murder the woman I love._

 _Dude Jake we'll take care of it._

 _Like Sam said though, they have to make the breach._

We fell silent for a few as we ran. Patrols didn't take long thanks to our speed. We ran past first beach and finally back towards my lane which wasn't too far down from…

 _NO WAY!_

 _Crap. You weren't supposed to see that._

 _You planned on keeping it from us? Jake this is awesome news!_

 _Yeah I guess._

 _You finally imprinted. This is great. Looks like you're next Embry._

 _Jake, how come you don't sound as overjoyed as Quil here? I mean he could be overexcited because his girl isn't going to be old enough for awhile yet…_

 _It's no big deal._

 _No big deal! Are you kidding? Jake she's already ready for you and we can't wait to see how happy you'll be._

 _She just wants a friend right now. That's what I'll be._

 _It won't last forever, don't worry. How could she not love you? But wait a sec…you want it to, last that is? How can you even still be holding on to Bella? She should've disappeared the minute this happened...are you really that stubborn?_

 _You can't just let the person you love the most go…_

 _Yea, you can because she's not the person you love most—not anymore. You have to—Jake where you going?_

I shifted back. I couldn't take it anymore. They're never going to understand. Every day, all of them will sound just like Quil. "Let her go" "You'll love Kelly if you don't already" "She's meant for you, Bella wasn't". I can't take it. They're going to keep on me until I see it their way. But I can't. Sure my blood is telling me I love her already because it's picked her. But what about who I pick? It doesn't matter, not now. Kelly wants a friend and that's what I'll be.

I need to find her, be near her right now. Ironically enough she's the only one who can calm me down right now so I don't fight Quil or Embry who are right now telling everyone… Kelly. I have to find her. The way I gravitate towards her…I don't know if I'll ever get used to this. Not being by her for the night, I actually felt like I was _missing_ something and I know it's her. She is the sole focus of my world to keep me sane. That's exactly how I used to— **do** feel about Bella.

I found myself already at Kelly's window where I left her last night. I felt her inside before I even came close. The shades already sat mostly open. I saw her lay there, leaned back on the bed with her hair, though slightly messy, around her shoulders as she rubbed her eyes. _Beautiful._ Stop, just stop it. Damn blood. There's only one girl for me. Kelly? She's just a friend. Friends. Just friends. I knocked on the glass, watching her jump for a second before giving me a warm smile. She tossed her feet over the side of the bed, unhooked the latch and grinned, "You know in the daytime I do open the door."

I chuckled, feeling my anger wash away. How does that happen? A few words from her and I'm calm. I shrugged, "I figured this way you wouldn't have to walk that far."

"Thought you were going to call?"

"This was easier."

She smiled then shook her head, "So what's the plan?"

"You wanted to hang out. You tell me." Whatever it is, just keep my mind off the fact everyone knows I'm bound to you for life and feel the need to remind me, you know, every second.

She laughed again, "Yes but we've only just met and kinda agreed to not learn the basics. I don't have any idea about anything you like to do. Plus I don't want to hang around here and see you get grossed out by girly things like bras."

I have two sisters, fat chance of that. If Rebecca could've _not_ left those in the bathroom as I was growing up…I rolled my eyes then replied, "Where do you want to go?"

She paused for a second then answered, "How about the beach? It's peaceful there."

"Sure."

"Give me a sec; I better leave a note for my brother and uncle in case they get back first."

She disappeared for a few moments. I really had to stop staring at her. But each time I looked at her I saw something else. How has it not creeped her out already? If some giant stared at me I would be creeped out instantly. Maybe that's another way to keep this from changing everything, I'll just creep her out… Sighing, I tapped the window sill impatiently as she popped back into the room, "Ready yet?"

"Yup, just let me grab a sweatshirt."

She hopped out the window though I offered a hand for assistance. I led her towards First beach, not saying a word. If I don't say anything she can't get too attached right? She won't though, she can't…she just wants a friend. Friends stay quiet, listen you know be _sensitive_ and stuff like that. I just wish I could stop noticing everything else about her. Like how her smile makes me smile or how her eyes sparkle when she grins or—luckily the beach isn't far. As soon as we got there, she climbed on one of the giant tree trunks that the waves wash in. I climbed behind her and sat close. But not too close. Friends close.

She sighed, looking out at the waves before turning back to me, "So what now?"

"Don't know," I shrugged, "You're the one who wanted to come this way."

"I can't help it. It's nice to just look out at the waves and relax. They're calming and help me forget things."

Forget things? Like what? She says stuff like that but she doesn't want any questions. I'll just leave that out there. But did she have to say it like that making me so damn curious?

Suddenly she turned to me and asked, "Your sister get in yet?"

"This morning"

"Bet your dads stoked."

"Won't shut up actually, not that I blame him."

"What about you?" Kelly asked, turning to face me.

"It's good to see her again," I said, looking around. And it is. Without Rachel being home and after me being gone, Billy needed it. And I just realized how nice it was to see my sister. I guess I really missed her too. I turned back to her, resting my forearms on my knees, "It's been a long time. Last time I saw her she left for college."

"So then why don't you sound so excited?"

I met her eyes, which in truth was not helping me or I guess maybe it was. Just looking into them I felt calmer, happier and mainly like I could tell her anything. There's not a question she couldn't ask that I wouldn't answer or anything she could ask for that I'd turn her down. Having someone with complete control over me like that...you'd think I'd be pissed but it feels _normal_. God I'm an idiot. I turned back to the tree as I said, "Just got a lot of stuff on my mind."

She sighed, stuffing her hands further into her pockets as she said, "If I'm talking too much which part of me thinks I am 'cuz that was kinda the point of hanging out…just tell me to shut up."

I half smiled. She thinks she's talking too much? I could listen to her for hours. Her voice—dude, get a grip. Friends remember? My eyes didn't leave the ground as I admitted, "Actually I don't mind as much."

All of a sudden her phone went off surprising both of us. She gave an apologetic look as she glanced down. As I watched her read it, I saw the sparkle fizzle out to be replaced by something else. Pain? What's that about? Whatever it was, it disappeared as quickly after she texted back. She shut her phone and turned it to vibrate as she said, "Sorry. I know what you mean though. I got a lot on my mind too. We should do something so we can get our minds off of everything."

"Like what?" Please make it something that will work. It's a long shot but hey—still worth tryin'.

"I don't know," She said, leaning back, "I was actually hoping you would have an idea," her eyes scanned the beach and before she added, "Wait, I have an idea after all. How about we race to that tree sitting in the middle over there?"

Is she serious? I mean, I know she doesn't know about me yet but even so I actually still _look_ athletic…"You probably won't win" I grinned.

"Guess we'll find out," She countered with a smile.

"You're on."

We both jumped down and got ready a few feet from the tree. We crouched just like the Olympians do. Kelly waited a moment or two before she said, "Alright 1,2,3!"

I ran slower, well slower than normal, not actually to let her win but at least give her a fighting chance. Somehow it didn't seem to matter. When I reached the tree I turned to see her struggling behind me, her chest heaving to get the air in and bright red cheeks. Immediately I felt a little bit of guilt but she wanted to do it after all. One of my hands resting on the tree, I grinned at her before saying triumphantly, "I win."

"Let's try again," she panted, her hands resting on her knees as I took a breath, "Back to where we were, go!"

I even gave her a head start this time. I don't want to be a jerk, ya know? But this time something felt different. I still smiled because I _did_ win after all and who doesn't smile when they win? But I could see her breaths really coming sharply now and could hear the wheeze from her throat. When she put her hands on her knees again I stopped smiling. Now it was serious. I have to help her. I can't let her suffer. I appeared at her side in seconds, gently patting her on the back before asking the stupid question, "You ok?"

"Yeah," she replied, wheezing again, "Just need to rest a sec."

Crap. I did this. Of course I still had to show off even if she never had a chance in hell. Damn. Guilt washed over me as I held her arm, escorting her over to the tree to sit. She looked fine but her breathing said otherwise. I stared at her, checking over everything to make sure nothing else could possibly be harming her as I said, "Why'd you race me if you knew this would happen?"

"It hasn't happened in a long time," she answered, leaning back a little, "Apparently I'm just really out of shape compared to what I used to be. Besides I'm fine now. See. No more wheezing."

"You wanted to test how in shape you were?" I asked, stupefied. Who does that?

"No," she laughed, "I wanted to see if I could still run like I used to. Sounded like a good idea at the time. If I was still in shape you wouldn't be the one bragging."

I snorted, "Keep telling yourself that."

"I will," Kelly chuckled before she asked, "Can we go grab a drink of some kind somewhere? I need water or something."

Finally, she had a logical plan. I nodded slowly having her take my arm again, lifting her to her feet. We started walking back, but I kept watching for anything that might signal to me she felt worse than she said. This girl might be the death of me more than the life. I've never had to worry about someone so much. Well except…We stopped at the store which sat roughly a block or two from the beach. The bell chimed as we walked in, Embry's mom smiling as she said "Hello."

"Hey" I said with a smile, "Can I get a water please? My friend's a little dehydrated."

"Of course," she said, handing one across the counter, "89 cents please."

Kelly smiled, handing her money over. "Thank you," she said before opening the cap and taking large swallows before it disappeared.

"Feel better?"

"Yeah actually," she said as we stepped outside. She tossed the empty bottle into the recyclable container then looked back to me, "By the way, are _you_ doing okay? Your hand feels like it's on fire."

Crap. I totally forgot. My temperature from being a wolf. How the hell am I going to explain that? A voice in my head said I didn't have to because she's my imprint, I can just tell her the truth…I shoved my hands into my pockets. I'm not telling her…today.

"Yeah I'm fine. I just have a…" I searched for the right word. Wolf problem? No. A cold? No or I'd be sick all the time. A… "condition."

"Oh," Kelly said then shrugged, "Okay…well whatever, so now what?"

"Well I was going to meet up with Sam and everyone else. You have met them right?"

"Yeah," she nodded, "You were actually the last one I had to meet."

The word she emphasized in that sentence threw me. Had to? She _needed_ to meet me? I stood a little bit taller with that. Well I'm glad she really wanted to but why? Did she have some compelling need because she's my imprint?

Kelly looked away for a moment but then said, "And where exactly were you planning on meeting them?"

I raised a brow. "You've met everyone and you don't know where they all end up?"

Kelly nodded, "Emily's. Of course. Let's go then."

We got there in no time. Opening the screen door and walking inside, I let her go inside first. The look on her face made me want to laugh out loud. Her eyes grew wide and mouth hung open the minute she saw the piles of food needed to feed a wolf pack. Jared, Paul, Seth, Embry and Quil all sat around the tiny table with Brady and Collin leaning against the counter. Like normal, each of them had a mountain of food piled on their plates which disappeared although it seems like Seth is slacking. Today Emily had hot dogs and brats and at least 5 pizza's. She probably should've got 10 just to be safe. Sam and Emily stood off to the side and I saw her eyes light up when she saw who I walked in the door with. Great. Here it comes. Everyone knows. They better not say anything. Coming over she turned to me, "There's still more if you're hungry."

Thank god that's my cue. I nodded, heading towards Sam and picking up a slice of pizza. As I took a bite, Sam glanced at his fiancé then me, "She's beautiful."

"Well of course you'd say that about the woman you're going to marry."

"You know who I meant, though of course she is."

"Don't start, Sam."

"We're all happy for you."

"We're just friends," I said, finishing of the slice I was on, "That's all she wants and all I need to be. It doesn't change anything."

"How can it not?" He asked, "You feel like I do for Emily. You can't get enough of her. Don't tell me you're still trying to hold on to—"

"And what if I am?" I stared at him, "This was supposed to be a rarity in our tribe and look, almost all of us have done it. Who says I can't just be friends with her and keep on loving Bella? The rules are being rewritten every day."

"Jake," Sam shook his head and chuckled, "It's not a choice, surely you feel that already. She's perfect for you. You don't need anyone else. You should already see no one else can compare."

I grabbed another slice and scowled. I didn't want to hear it. Why can't they be like her and not want to talk? Now I understood the need to find someone who didn't need to know every thought in your head.

Suddenly she walked over to me. Glancing at both of us she said, "I think I'm gonna go. I have my uncle and brother to feed but we'll hang out again soon, yeah?"

"Sure," I nodded but I wished she'd stay. As long as she stayed I wouldn't be the main topic of discussion. Or maybe they'd tell her anyway. God I wish she'd just stay. I need her around or I'm going to lose my mind. There has to be some way to… She almost fully turned as I added, "Maybe you could stop by my house tomorrow and come meet Rachel."

Sam chuckled and I glared at him. Not like that. Geeze I can't do anything without them thinking it's because I already love her. Luckily it didn't faze her as she smiled, "Okay. Well I'll see you tomorrow then."

Kelly waved to everyone else and walked out. I watched her go, mentally cursing her for leaving but respecting her need to. I don't think I'm ever going to get used to the contradictions I feel. But she didn't know the lectures I was about to get. As she shut the screen door, she glanced at me one more time. We caught each other's eyes for a minute before I heard Quil say, "She's better for you than Bella, Jake. You have to see it right?"

I clenched my fists before I lunged but Embry stepped in front of me, "C'mon Jake, we're just looking out for you. You imprinted, that means she _is_ your perfect match."

I glared, "Look, I know all of you think this is great but Bella is always going to be the one for me. Just because I imprinted…you're whatever your imprint needs. She needs friend and that's what we are, friends but that hasn't made me lose sight of Bella or what that murderer is about to do."

"Jake—"

"Just forget it," I said, opening the screen door, "Let me know when you hear something. You know where to find me."

"At Kelly's," Jared cracked.

I slammed the screen door. I really wanted to break his nose. I wanted to fight—it doesn't even matter who. I ran my hand through my hair as I trudged towards my house. I'm not going to fall in love with her. Not because that's what my blood wants. If I'm going to love someone it's gonna be for me. And right now, the woman for me is and will always be one person—Bella.


	3. Chapter 3: Things in Common

Chapter 3: Things in Common

The next day, I avoided the pack. So far, no word if the bloodsuckers breached the treaty. I tried not to think about it…or them. What that leech did or would do to Bella…I tried to shift focus. I knew of one surefire way: work on the Rabbit. For some reason, tinkering on it always brought me peace. It used to be the only way. Kelly. Now I had her and she'd be here sometime today. Thank god. I need one day away from everyone else. Especially now that they all know.

Yesterday didn't even go as bad as I expected. I didn't even get jabs, just a bunch of disappointed looks. They actually expect me to just drop everything for my imprint? Of course, because the ones who have imprinted know that their imprints will love them. I'm sure Kelly would love me too if I looked at her the way Sam looks at Emily. If I made her feel like the most special girl on the planet and all that lovey-dovey crap, who could resist that? Girls love it. But I'm not going to. I'm just going to be her friend, her best friend like she wants me to be. Guys and girls can be friends without anything else getting in the way. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

I walked into my garage and flipped on the light. Glancing at her, I smiled. The Rabbit. She still needed work but not that much. My eyes ran across the semi-cluttered garage before resting on the bikes. Bella. I don't know why she got it in her head those were a good idea but hey, it got her to spend time with me right? Too bad it was short-lived. I sighed, stepping over to my tool box. I picket out the ones I need then set them next to the Rabbit. As I laid out my tools, I smiled. At least this is normal.

I heard steps about an hour later and glanced up to see Kelly coming in the garage. Smiling at me she said, "Hey."

"Hey."

"Busy?" She asked, glancing back at the door then to me, "I can come back later if you are."

"Nope" I answered, turning back to look at my car, "Just workin' on the Rabbit."

"A-ha, so that's the model sitting before me. What year?"

"'86."

"Nice. It looks in pretty good shape. You had it long?" She smiled more, "I begged my dad for a Bug and he got me one. I had to sell it before I moved out there though."

I groaned. You've got to be kidding me. She likes cars too? And she _knows_ about cars? She likes the Volkswagen brand. This is going to be harder than I thought but maybe not. Friends need things in common right? I looked back at her but I think my mouth was hanging a little open because I watched her raise an eyebrow then say, "What because I'm a girl I can't like cars? Please. I know I'm not what you normally picture and I can't talk car per se but I do appreciate them," She ran her slender hands along the exterior as she asked, "Are you going to touch up the paint too?"

"Eventually."

"It'll look great with a new coat of red."

I gulped. The way she currently caressed my car, treating the Rabbit like she was the best thing she'd ever seen…I can't believe it. I didn't mean to stare, I swear. But she literally couldn't stop touching _everything_. As much as I hate to admit it, I stood mesmerized by it. It was just…well _sexy_ the way she was handling my car. I'd never seen a girl so fascinated with a large piece of metal before and giving it such attention. As she shut the door I said, "You're right. You look nothing like someone who loves cars."

She sighed and smiled, "I get that a lot. You can thank my dad for that. He took me to endless car shows with him growing up and I just loved looking at them. I never wanted to be a mechanic or anything but I always thought it'd be cool to do something with them."

"Racing?"

She glanced at me for a second and the sparkle disappeared. Then she looked back at the Rabbit, letting her hand drag across it, "Probably not. Luck really isn't on my family's side with cars."

"Sorry," I said, mentally kicking myself. If there was one thing I did learn about her, it was the reason she came home. Both parents dead in a car crash…I instantly wanted to wrap her up in my arms and comfort her but I fought the urge. I knew how she felt Mom dying in the crash long ago really messed up Rachel and Rebecca. I can't really remember.

"It's okay," She sighed, opening the door and sat on the seat, feet hanging out of it, "I love the old ones especially. Back when it wasn't just about getting from A to B but they were works of art too."

No, no way. Kelly loves classic cars too? I know she's supposed to be perfect for me but really? REALLY? I put my head in my hands then groaned. This is getting tougher by the second.

"Corny, I know, but shut up."

Well, wait a second …she might not be that perfect for me after all. It all depends on one thing. I looked at her then asked, "What's your favorite old car?"

This time she groaned then whined slightly, "Not fair. It's so hard to choose. I guess if I _had_ to choose it'd be a 1970 Chevy Chevelle."

"Wow, nice choice." I felt stunned. This girl knew cars and knew them _well._ I'm so in trouble.

"What about you? I take it you're a Volkswagen kind of guy?"

"I love the Rabbit but I definitely wouldn't mind a Chevelle."

Jumping out, she came closer to me, putting her hands on the edge by the engine right next to mine. "So what exactly needs to be done on the Rabbit?"

"Just need to put the alternator in and hope it works."

"Doesn't it run yet?"

"It will once it gets this part in. The other one crapped out on me."

"Do you uh," She paused for a second, gently biting her lower lip as she said, "mind if I uh…watch?"

Oh man. She's into this, totally into it. I've been waiting my whole life to meet a girl who digs cars as much as me. I swallowed, hoping it was just all in my head. I raised an eyebrow, "Won't you get bored?"

Kelly's lips turned upward, the sparkle in her eyes glittering brightly, "Nope. I'd love to actually help but I don't really know how."

This time I mirrored her smile as I replied, "Well as long as you're careful I could show you."

"Awesome. Let's do it."

As if I needed to feel any manlier, I still showed her some things. I showed her how to check fluids and change some out. I even showed her how to change lights if they burn out. Kelly watched my every move and didn't get bored once, at least not that I saw. I swear I've never seen someone so interested in cars. Her eyes stayed wide with wonder the whole time. She even handed me tools so I could get the alternator in. Before I did, she dropped one of the caps and it fell underneath. Without a second thought she I slid under the car and grabbed it quick. As she handed it back to me, I couldn't help but stare. "What?" Kelly's cheeks turned a rosy pink, "You really think a girl can't do this?"

I chuckled, "No it's just, I've never met one who wanted to."

"Well, Jacob," she emphasized my name as she grinned, "now you do."

"You can call me Jake," I said, setting my tools back in the box, "everyone else does."

"Well you can call me…Kelly because it's already short. Or Kel I guess. Since we're friends now."

I smiled as I wiped my hands on a hand rag. Friends. Good. That's what we can stay. No worries, no problems just stay nothing but friends. She sighed, glancing around the garage before her eyes caught on something else. I followed the direction of her gaze…crap. The bikes.

"What kind you got over there?"

"Don't tell me," I said, mentally groaning this time, "You ride too."

"My dad gave Eric and I dirt bikes as kids. Pretty sure Eric's still pissed I beat him at every race. Bikes tend to be good luck for me."

"You've got to be kidding me," This time I groaned aloud again. This can't be happening. She can't have _this_ much in common with me. It's impossible.

"No, I'm pretty sure he's still mad," She grinned, "Maybe we can race sometime just don't _you_ get mad when you lose."

Well that's just an outright challenge. "Like you said about running huh? Who won that again?"

"Running is different," Kelly countered, "Horsepower? I bet I have more of that."

Before I could answer, she glanced down at her cell phone before her eyes widened. "Oh my god!" she exclaimed, "I didn't know it was so late!"

She laughed as she rushed off to the door. Holding onto it, she paused then peeked back inside at me. "I uh I gotta go," she giggled, "If I don't make dinner my brother and uncle will kill me but um…can I come back tomorrow? So we can…you know…work on the Rabbit some more? Or ride the bikes? I mean, if you want that is?"

Of course I want her back here. Like that was even in question. "Yeah," I chuckled, "See ya tomorrow."

Kelly turned to leave when I remembered why she even came today, "Wait!" I said and she popped back over to the door.

"Yeah?"

"Rachel, I didn't introduce you to her. Do you still wanna…" I asked.

She smiled, "Don't worry; I already met her when I first came. She's great, we have a lot in common too. I'll see you tomorrow."

Without another word she disappeared. Kelly Price. I'm slowly starting to piece more together. She's funny, she loves cars and likes to, for some reason, hang out with me. I'm pretty sure I haven't laughed this much in months. I should've figured that her being my imprint meant we'd have a lot in common…and I've only just skimmed the surface. We're good friends so far and I only know a few things about her. Not gonna lie, I'm kinda worried what else I'm going to find out. Maybe it **will** get harder not to love her. Damn. I need bloodsucker news and soon.


	4. Chapter 4: Rachels Graduation Party

Chapter 4: Rachel's Graduation Party

I woke up to the smell of bacon. I felt the hunger pains immediately. I slowly made my way into the kitchen to find Billy and Rachel. Rachel put pancakes and bacon on a plate she set in front of Billy. She smiled as she saw me. "Hungry?" she asked.

I almost answered before Paul stepped in front of me. "Famished," he said as he sat down, grinning widely at me.

"What the hell are you doing in my house Paul?"

"Excuse me-pretty sure it's still my name on the deed," Bill said before he added, "Paul imprinted on Rachel yesterday."

"He did what? How? When? Why?" I glared at him as he grabbed a piece of bacon then skipped over and gave my sister a kiss on the cheek before he said, "You want to tell him?"

The way he looked at her and vice versa made me want to hurl. I seriously feel sick to my stomach just looking at them. This can't be happening. Not _my_ sister. Not _Paul_. I haven't woken up yet. This is all just a big nightmare.

"I will," she smiled before looking back at me, "I went to the beach like I said I would and read for awhile. Well the waves splashed up and I saved my book but not my towel. Paul came and grabbed it and well…with one look we just knew."

Rachel's smile only grew wider as Paul looked at her. I groaned. Paul. Paul who I never really liked all that much is going to be my brother-in-law. Great. Just great. I wonder if a bullet to the head would actually kill me. A short bout of unconsciousness would be acceptable at this point.

"So you coming tonight?" Paul asked me.

"Coming where? Because I don't think it's back here anymore" I said dryly.

Paul guffawed.

"He means to your sister's belated graduation party. I called Sue and everyone is coming over late," Billy answered.

"Here?" I asked, "We barely have space for the three of us let alone our new houseguest."

Paul just grinned. I'm going to have to beat him. A no holds barred trees crashing fight.

"Yes here, "Billy said, "And maybe you can invite Kelly along."

"Don't start," I warned.

"I don't see what the big deal is," Paul said, "You're going to love her just as much as I love you sister…well less" he smiled before he caught Rachel in his arms and gave her a kiss.

I saw red. I immediately lunged at Paul, ignoring Rachel and Billy's pleas for us to knock it off. I landed a punch square on his nose, spurting blood.

"That's enough!" Rachel cried.

Paul backed off, wiping his nose, "You broke my nose."

"It'll heal..in a minute"

"Jake can you go please? I would prefer you didn't spill any more blood."

"Fine by me," I said, turning to her as she babied him, "I'm sorry Rach—not to you Paul."

I headed out to the garage. I don't even know when Kelly's coming today but god I wish it was right now. I can't believe what just happened. Rachel and Paul. Another imprint. How many of us is that now? 4 out of 10? Seriously! I headed for the tree line. I need to stretch y legs and not think. Maybe by now there's some news and maybe, just maybe now everyone will annoy me with talk about Paul joining my family instead of focusing on me and Kelly.

After a couple hours I headed back. Kelly finally appeared around 3. I heard her come in. "Hey Rachel, Hi Paul…right?" I groaned. I didn't need a reminder Paul wouldn't leave. I heard the creak of my door and looked up to see her smiling at me. She glanced at me then the garage, "So, more work on the car today?"

"For a little bit," I said, "Tonight's Rachel's graduation party. Dad and Sue told her this morning. Everyone in town's coming. You in?"

"Of course," she smiled, "Who am I to turn down a party?"

As we walked over to the garage I said, "I don't know what you really want to do. She's up and running now."

"Well," she said, hands in her pockets, "You could let me kick your butt at a bike race."

"You don't give up do you," I grinned.

"Do you?" she countered with a smile.

We both grabbed a bike. She straddled hers no problem. "Do you know how to"—-I started to say before her starting up the engine cut me off.

"I think I can manage," she grinned. "You ready?"

I revved mine up and we peeled away from the garage. We went to where I first taught Bella how to ride. I hadn't been there in months. Has it really been that long?

"Don't forget the curve," I warned, "Don't want you to get hurt."

"The only thing that's going to get hurt is your feelings when I win," She smiled.

This time I counted down. As soon as I said go, we zipped away. I sped in front, grinning. I almost beat her to the curve when suddenly she took the lead in front of me. Crossing the finish line, she hopped off the bike and did a little dance. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Not bad," I said, dismounting my bike.

"So, on a scale from 1 to 10, how hurt are those feelings of yours?"

I laughed, "Probably about a 5. But we should head back, the party's gonna start soon."

"Do you want to race back or have you lost enough for one day?"

"Don't get too cocky," I said, "you won't always win."

"That's what you think," she grinned, flipping her hair over her shoulder and hopping back on the bike.

When we got back, people already started arriving. They brought chairs and set up outside. Food started to be laid out on tables but I knew the guys would have it gone in 5 minutes. Kelly and I went over to Billy, Sue, Leah, Embry and Kelly's uncle Joe. As we stepped close, we both were greeted by a very happy and grinning Billy.

"Glad you two are here," Joe said, glancing at his niece, "Now if only I could find your brother…and another slice of pizza."

Kelly laughed and shook her head before she turned to my Dad and said, "He really does love pizza. Can't blame him though, it is good."

Dad eyes went from her to me as he said, "So, you're the one keeping him away from the house."

Kelly smiled warmly and as I scoffed, "I think Paul's doing a good enough job of that already."

"Oh he's not that bad," Billy said.

"I feel like I'm missing something," She said, looking at me, "What happened?"

I scowled. I really hate that I have to keep thinking about it. "Paul met Rachel down at the beach the other day," I said, "Now he won't leave the house 'cuz he's crazy about her. She hasn't made him go away—yet."

"He can't be that bad," She offered.

I scoffed again, "You don't know Paul that well."

Billy just smiled, looking at the two of us. Of course he's going to be so happy. He thinks he's looking at his future daughter-in-law. Beaming he said, "I'm glad you two finally met and came here—together."

"Well now that Jake and I are friends I wouldn't miss it," Kelly said, "Besides, Rachel and I get along great too. I guess after being here I never thought I'd meet someone who's been in the same situation as me. I hope her and I could be close. I think she could be like the sister I never had."

I groaned and rolled my eyes. Of course she had to say it like this. My dad smiled wider. He's enjoying every second of it. Suddenly Kelly gave my arm a smack. I had to actually work on noticing since it barely registered. I hope she didn't think that was a hard hit.

"Oh cut it out," She said, "She's cooler than you give her credit for. Don't be _that_ kind of brother," her eyes looked passed us for a moment as she said, "Speaking of, I just saw Eric. You should meet him."

I nodded as she disappeared across the room, calling to her brother.

"You know, you could smile a little more. I know she makes you happy already."

"Not now."

"You have to see how good for you she is Jake. You've already been sulking around the house much less since she's been with you."

"We're just friends, stop looking at us like we're about to get married."

"Not yet, but eventually," he replied, "Can't you at least try to see it?"

"I'll never see it." I grit my teeth, clenching my fists.

"Try," Billy said, before rolling away.

I felt a tap on the shoulder as she whispered in my ear, "You okay? You look kinda pissed."

I shook my head as she stepped back and said, "Jake, this is my brother Eric, Eric this is Jake."

We both muttered 'heys' to each other before I turned to Kelly and said, "I have to go for a sec."

"Okay," She answered and I felt a little guilty leaving her like that. But I had to leave. I pushed the door open hard and shut it, heading for my room. Why can't they stop reminding me? Why can't they understand "just friends"? Now that Paul and Rachel are a thing he'll do nothing but pressure me all the time. God I just want to leave.

I looked outside, scanning the tree line. Why can't there be news yet? The last thing I want is for Bella to be dead but at least I could kill that murdering son of a—there's got to be news soon. It's been almost a week. She wanted it to be done ASAP. Maybe I should get out of here. Of course the minute I phase they'll come out here. Or maybe they won't. Everyone's distracted by the party.

Sometimes I have no idea why I decided to come back. I should just go. Rachel has Paul now so she'll be fine. Billy has Sue. Everyone has someone. Well that's not true. Kelly won't. The ache I felt reminded me how I couldn't go. How could I leave her? It's already been hard enough being a few houses down for crying out loud, how could I deal putting more space between us?

I can't go. I need her and she needs me. As a friend. And I need to be that for her. Maybe even a little for me. She's the only one who's making this bearable. But also making it harder to think of Bella, just Bella. I'm finally sleeping better but instead of dreaming of the woman I love I keep thinking of her, my imprint. The worst part? Now Paul is never going to leave my house and help remind me how stupid I'm being. I should break his damn nose again.

Suddenly, I heard the door open and turned to face Kelly, coming straight at me.

"You ok?" she asked as she shut the door.

"Not really," I replied, "Look I know you want to help but you should go back outside," gritting my teeth I added, "have fun at the party."

Stepping closer to me, I backed up against the window. Thinking about beating up Paul is getting me too close to phase…I can't pull a Sam. I watched as she came closer. "Look," She started, "You're pissed about something, probably something Billy said and I get it, but trust me I have to tell you something that I just saw that you probably won't believe. I'm still kinda in shock."

Crap. Crap crap crap. Did he freaking tell everyone? I'm going to kill him. I knew he'd let my secret out but seriously? Can no one let me do things my way?

"What?" I said, gently placing my hands on her shoulders, "What happened?"

"I just saw Leah not only smile, but laugh too."

Well that's not what I expected."What?"

"It's so weird!" Kelly said as she continued, "I literally just introduced her to Eric and bam! It's like she got electrocuted or something and now they haven't stopped talking and…" she glanced out the window as they walked around the side of the house, "she's still laughing."

I looked outside then back at her and I couldn't help it. I laughed out loud. Hard. This is unbelievable. Leah. Ice queen Leah is in freakin love with Kelly's brother. This is PRICELESS. I picked her up and spun her around laughing before setting her back on her feet. She stared at me like I'm crazy, which I probably am by this point but I don't care, before laughing slightly herself . I gave her a quick hug before setting my hands on her shoulders. "Thank you," I said wholeheartedly, "That just made my day."

I couldn't stop laughing as I walked toward the door. I opened it and stopped in the frame, turning back to look at Kelly. "You comin'?"

"Yeah," She replied, following me as we went back outside. I wish I could tell her why it was so funny but she'll find out eventually. But for now, it'll be great to be the one person everyone _isn't_ focused on and I couldn't be happier.


	5. Chapter 5: Becoming Closer

Chapter 5: Becoming Closer

After Rachel's grad party, all of the looks Leah gave Eric and Paul gave my sister suddenly didn't seem as funny. Now they just nauseated me. I literally couldn't stay in my house because Paul did nothing but stay there and eat our food. The other day he ate the last bag of Doritos just to spite me. All he said in defense is that 'Rachel said to feel free to make myself at home'. Why couldn't it be his own home, not mine? To top it all off, he wouldn't fight with me anymore. Suddenly the all rage I'll kick everyone's ass Paul has now been replaced with the mellow i-don't-want-to-hurt-Rachel's-feelings-Paul. Great.

I had to get out of my house. I barely stayed there. Because of that, I started to see Kelly more and more often to avoid Paul and his lovesickness for my sister. Little by little we became close friends just due to all the time together. I know it's all about what she needs but I have to admit that part of me needed it too. It's nice to have someone who understands the need to hang out and nothing else.

One night, we decided to have a film night. "You're seriously telling me you've never seen all the Jurassic Park's?" Kelly asked me.

"Nope," I said, "Just the first one. I'm not the movie buff like you."

"You will see all of them but I haven't watched the first in forever. Will you pop it in the blu-ray player and I'll grab the popcorn?"

"Course I will."

Kelly disappeared from the room as I searched through her movie titles. Girl has a serious obsession with film. She's convinced I haven't seen enough and that it's her duty to make sure I do. After I closed the tray I plopped back on her bed. I could smell the scent of her hair off the pillow. Damn wolf thing. I can smell way better than any human ever will but damn if I wish I couldn't. Doesn't help that the vanilla and berries shampoo she uses smelled amazing. I kicked myself mentally. Knock it off Jake. We're friends.

Moments later, she reopened the door with a huge bowl of popcorn. I slid over as she put the bowl between us and sat down. I popped a handful in my mouth as she hit play on the remote. She turned down her lamp so only the lightest glow illuminated the room other than the screen.

Normally, I have no problems sitting this far away. The last few days though suddenly I've been feeling not close _enough_ to her. I glanced at her from time to time, her eyes focused solely on the screen. We only locked gazes once and she merely said "Waaatch. Please?"

As I reached down to grab another handful or popcorn, our skin touched. It only took a second and I felt a tingle up my arm. And now I wanted that warmth and gentle skin in my hand. Friends don't hold hands though. I think Bella pretty much proved that. Damn imprinting. Why can't being close to her be enough?

Halfway through the flick, Kelly slipped out of her spot for a moment before she opened her closet door and started to rummage through. I noticed immediately, curious to what she was up to. After about two seconds I asked, "Hey, you're going to miss the good part. What are you looking for anyway?"

"Sorry," she said as she peeked back at me, "I'm cold so I'm just trying to find a sweatshirt but apparently a goblin has eaten them all— or the dryer. Goblin sounds better."

She cracked a grin then checked the floor and underneath the bed. I realized then what I had to do. When she looked back at me, my eyes looked to the bed then at her. As she ran a hand through her mussed up hair, I smiled and said, "Come here, I'll warm you up for a bit."

She cocked an eyebrow, "What about your condition? Is it catching?"

My condition catching? Only if you're a Quileute. I laughed, "No. Just get over here."

Kelly smiled back, hopping next to me as I moved the bowl out of the way. She slid next to me and I let my arm drape across her. This felt right. And yet, part of me felt like kicking myself because friends do get this close, do they? I'm just helping her get warm. Bonus is being closer to her like my blood craves. But on the other hand this could lead to something that I can't let happen. I love Bella I just have to keep thinking about her. Strangely enough every time I tried to picture Bella my eyes involuntarily looked to the girl right next to me. Knock it off brain.

After a couple minutes Kelly looked up to me and said, "Isn't this kinda weird? I mean…we barely know each other and yet we're completely comfortable being this close?"

I didn't say anything right away. She's right. This is totally bizarre. I'm crossing a line and I need to back up. But I can't move. I feel like I'm glued to this spot and just thinking about letting her go actually _hurts._ And I'm not talking just in my head. _Physically_ hurts. How is that even possible? After a minute I glanced down at her then said, "It should be but it's not. I feel like we've known each other all along."

"You feel that way too?" she beamed up at me, "Here I thought I was going crazy."

"You aren't," I muttered. But I might be. This is toeing the line. If I keep looking at her like this something is bound to happen… STOP. But then Kelly leaned against my chest, continuing to watch the movie. She smiled to herself about something but I have no clue what. She didn't move for the rest of the movie, and I didn't want her to. I could feel that down to my core. This is getting serious. We watched the next one in the series too and I thanked the stars it was already on the same disc. The popcorn disappeared halfway through and she almost got up to refill it but I said I wasn't hungry. I was but I couldn't let her move. After the 3rd flick however, sighed then sat up and stretched her arms, looking at me, "I think I need to stretch my legs."

"Yeah me too," I lied. All I wanted was to keep her right where she had bee, curled up next to me safe and warm.

"Did I make your arm fall asleep?"

"Nope," I said with a smile, keeping my eyes locked on her.

She slid out of bed and glanced at the clock.

"Time really disappears when we hang out," she said, turning to look at me again, "I know it's late but uh, you maybe wanna go for a walk?"

"Sure."

She climbed out her window and I followed. We walked opposite direction of my house, through the now sleeping town. We didn't talk and maybe it was for the best. I have a real serious problem on my hands. I'm her friend, but that's not it. Tonight, tonight actually made me _happy_. Happier than I've been and I can't even believe I'm about to think it but even happier than some of the times I've spent with Bella. I pursed my lips. Crap. I bet _it's_ happening. That's what this is. I'm starting to see what they were saying…the starting to fall for her…But I can control it, I can stop it. It's just me not her. I glanced back her to find a smile waiting.

"So," Kelly said, breaking the silence, "You know I typically love our walks with no words but um thinking about it today, you know, how comfortable I am around you I just realized I don't know all that much about you and vice versa. I know before we kinda agreed not to get into anything but if we're so comfortable already I guess I'm just thinking…why not?," she paused to look at me then smiled wider, "By the way, this is me reassuring myself you're not a serial killer."

She wants to know me. And you know what? I want to know her too. Genuinely. She is pretty awesome from what I've already seen. Finally I can figure out why the universe thinks we're meant to be…I chuckled at her comment.

"Other than working on the Rabbit, which is awesome and thank you for showing me some stuff, what else do you like to do?" she asked.

Why'd she have to turn it back on me? Running a hand through my hair answered, "I'm really pretty boring. I am either working on the Rabbit or hanging out with the guys…or you."

"Oh come on," Kelly whined, grinning as she did so, "There has to be more than that. You obviously like action movies, watching and adding commentary. What else?"

She stepped in front me, putting her hands on her hips. "I'm not moving until you tell me all of your deep dark secrets Jacob Black."

They way she said it made me want to tell her every last one. I knew I could and she'd listen to every word. But I didn't need to, not yet.

Grinning, I grabbed her sides and lifted her out of the way. As I set her back down, I replied, "You already know more about me than you think."

"Nah huh," Kelly countered, "What's your favorite color?"

I laughed again, "You can't be serious."

"Fine," she said, climbing up on the tree perch since she always ended up on. I gave her a boost as she said, "You see pretty well in the dark you know. Anyway, I guess I'll start with me. My favorite color is blue. I love animals, especially the cuddly kind but haven't ever had a pet or anything. I listen to all types of music except polka and country, which are my least favorite…"

I raised an eyebrow before I laughed, "Polka?"

"You laugh but Polka is big in the Midwest," Kelly smiled then rolled her eyes, "Um what else? I love to read. Murder mysteries mostly, like Agatha Christie or Dean Koontz. Though, every so often a popular series will reel me in like The Hunger Games but not and never 50 Shades of Grey."

"I wouldn't have taken you for a book nerd," I said. No wonder her and Rachel get along so well.

"I actually wasn't but um," she paused and looked down, "I guess I had a lot of free time when I first got here."

Damn. I really need to think before I talk. She's still hurting about her parents. Again, the strong urge to gather her in my arms almost took me completely over but instead I gripped the tree. We both were quiet for a minute before Kelly began again, "I love movies, action and horror like you nut every once in a while a rom-com too."

Scrunching my nose I said, "Chick flicks?"

"Oh shut up," she said, playfully shoving me or should I say attempting to, "and even though I definite DO NOT miss shoveling it, I do miss freshly fallen snow."

I chuckled, "We still get that here."

Kelly laughed, "In a couple of months' maybe. I just love going out in it, building forts and throwing snowballs then coming in and warming up. Best feeling ever."

I saw it plain as day. Kelly bundled up in a warm coat. Kelly throwing snowballs and building a fort outside. The two of us coming in and me warming her up on the couch. When I looked at her I saw it all and I _wanted_ it even though my head disagreed. Her cheeks reddened from my stare before she looked away and said, "It's your turn. Tell me about yourself before I make up something about you."

I leaned back and said, "I told you, there's not much to me. I'm just a _normal_ guy." I may have gritted out normal. It's hard to be normal when you're practically 7 feet tall, don't age and turn into a wolf from time to time.

"Books?" she asked.

"Not really a reader."

"Music?"

"'Bout the same as you."

"Except you love Polka," she joked, grinning at me.

I couldn't hold back my loud laugh this time.

"Snow?"

"Doesn't bother me."

"Okay," Kelly smiled then said, "Here is my deep question for the night; where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

I sighed, resting my forearms on my knees. Now why'd she have to ask that? A few months ago I'd say with Bella here in La Push, maybe finally convincing her to marry _me_ but now, now where? When I looked at her I knew. Right here with her next to me. And the way she looked at me would be different…be better…I swallowed before I asked, "Now why would you ask something like that?"

"Honestly," Kelly sighed, "because I've got nothing else."

I stayed quiet a second. What can I tell her? What I want to say would run off most girls but the way things are working out for me, she wouldn't run. I couldn't stay sane if she did. But at this point I literally have no idea. I just want her next to me, no matter what. And while that might not scare her off, it's freaking me out. I met her eyes again before I answered, "I don't really know. I haven't really made any plans…what about you?"

"I don't know either," Kelly glanced up at the stars then back to me, "I had college plans but…I'm finally starting to adjust here. I like it here. I don't know if by then I'll be ready," she chuckled, "Besides, what if I have a moment like Leah and just…fall in love?"

This time I gulped again before looking away from her. Oh god. She said it. the l word. That thing I'm trying not to do. I couldn't look at her but she added, "It's probably gonna be Embry since Seth is too young for me. Put in a good word, huh?" she laughed.

"I'm sure you can get away," I said, almost in a whisper, "Rachel did."

Even if the thought of her not here felt like a building collapsing on my chest. But it'd be for the best, for her. That's what matters. I'm just one big ball of pain to be released on her at any given moment. She deserves more. Damn universe. How can I be the best one for her?

"Yeah I know," she said, pausing a second, "Don't get me wrong, Rachel's great but she went away to forget right? Which I get but at the same time she lost contact with you. I can't do that to Eric, even if he is happy like he is now."

I met her eyes again as I said, "You don't have to protect him."

"I kinda do," she disagreed, "He's my brother."

"We protect each other here, all of us," I said, "Including you two. All of us care."

Kelly raised a brow, "Clearly. All of a sudden now that he's with Leah, all the guys have accepted them into the group when it wasn't the case awhile back. Now it's just me who still feels like an outsider…" she said, looking at me, "except with you. You go off and do whatever it is you guys do but it's like only Emily, you and my family give a crap."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, "Everyone loves you. You're no outsider."

Is she kidding? I've never seen someone not from here be so cared for, loved…and not just because she's my imprint. She's honestly just someone that everyone's met and says how wonderful she is.

"Do they? I guess I just haven't really been feeling it…" she paused then said, "Look its fine. I guess I just need to be patient."

I glanced at her and her eyes widened. Turning around she smiled, "Oh my god. It's almost sunrise. We've been here for hours!"

She turned back to me but I couldn't look right away. I have to make her feel like she belongs. She can't feel like she doesn't. Never again. She will always belong here. Our eyes met again as she grabbed my hand and said, "I haven't watched a sunrise in ages. Will you watch with me?"

I smiled and nodded, before pulling her towards me, "C'mon, I know a better spot."

We raced back towards town I led her to my house. "How are we supposed to see it the best from inside?" she asked.

"We're not," I answered, giving her my hand. I led her up to my roof where we sat side by side, leaning back on our palms and knees up. As the sun rose over the trees, I watched he smile grow wider. Her eyes met mine and I mirrored her smile. Finally after awhile she said, "I should probably get back. I should get some sleep. I didn't mean to keep you out all night."

"If anyone kept someone out it was me, or don't you remember how you can't stand in my way?"

Kelly laughed as we stood and I jumped down first. I reached up as she jumped into my arms. I held her for an extra couple seconds before setting her on her feet again I walked her to her window, giving her my arm to help her inside. I glanced around for a second before turning back to face her. "You know," she said, "I've never really been this close with a guy before…friend-wise anyway. It's kinda nice. I never thought it could be this easy."

"Me either," I replied. Though the imprinting is part of that.

"You going to try and catch some z's?"

Raising an eyebrow I said, "With Paul's snoring? Doubt it."

Kelly laughed, "Well you're always welcome here. I don't think Uncle Joe would mind if you were on the couch. Or even in here with me, I know you won't put any moves on me."

Moves… I don't even have any of those. What the hell am I thinking? I would never, not now. Bella. Bella is the one I need to put moves on. Suddenly loud whistling made is both turn in time to see Paul, Sam and Jared heading this way from my house. I turned back to her and said, "I gotta go."

"Okay," she said, "Well I'll see you later probably. I hope you at least get a nap in."

"I'm not tired," I said. And I wasn't. With her I could never be more awake. Still I I turned and ran off towards the guys. Please be news. I need something, anything to distract me from the fact I am slowly losing this battle. But I can't. I have to keep fighting. Why can't my life ever get any easier?


	6. Ch6: The One Where I Tell The Truth, WPO

Chapter 6: The One When I Tell the Truth, Well Part of It

The minute we hit the tree line we phased. Being back on four legs felt like breathing. The wind through my fur, thoughts focused on what the pack needed.

"What's up?"

"Just got news."

I snarled, "How'd he do it? Freak accident I bet. I'll take care of him, don't worry."

"Calm, Jake. He didn't."

"Then what?"

"Apparently she's changed her mind on college."

"I call BS."

"Jake, it's true. Even Charlie said she's enrolled in Seattle."

"How can you be so sure it's not a trick?"

"We're keeping an eye on the situation."

"I got it."

"No."

"Sam-"

"Jake, no. We will continue to watch. At the moment, the treaty still stands."

"This is crap Sam & you know it."

"They're here, stay to our side-I mean it."

I phased back and headed for home. I couldn't take it. Figured I'd try to fall asleep before Paul made it back. Sleep. Right. With his snores all I tend to do is stare at the ceiling. That...and then _she_ 'd come into view. Not Bella, no not her but this girl my brain says I love more than, scratch that. Not love. Not yet. Kelly. What the hell. I barely even know her. Screw you Universe! Aren't I messed up enough already? Now you want to throw this at me? I'm barely making it as is... Worse still what did _she_ do to deserve me? What good comes from a heartbroken wolf like me?

I must've drifted for a bit only to have the rattling of the walls pull me back awake, Dammit Paul. Wish he'd just stay home. His own, not mine. Slowly I dragged my 7 foot frame from my tiny twin size bed. On the couch lay Paul. Not gonna lie, was half tempted to smother him with the pillow until Rachel popped her head from the kitchen.

"Hey," she smiled.

"Hey," I replied, running a hand through my disheveled hair.

"Thought you were sleeping?"

"Me too," I sighed, "Too bad Paul's here."

"Oh shush," she replied, "You should give him a chance."

"Not today."

"You hungry?" she asked, scrambling some eggs.

"That's a silly question."

"Well," she said, pushing some on a plate, "Have some before Paul gets up. Bacon and toast are on the counter."

I grabbed a plateful and scarfed down the bacon.

"We can cook you know," I said.

"You mean Emily can," she replied with a grin.

I shrugged.

"I like doing it. Makes me feel useful," she said, "So- how are you?"

"Fine."

"And what about-"

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't you start on me about her."

"She _is_ really nice…"

"I know kay?," But you don't know Bella," I said, taking a bite of toast, "She's great too."

"Okay," she replied, looking at me for a sec before turning away.

I sighed, "Please Rach, no guilt trips."

"None," she answered, looking back at me and putting her hands up, "It's just-"

Suddenly the familiar beep went off for my texts. I picked it up from the counter and I unlocked the screen.

"Who is it?"

"The one who's not guilting me."

Rachel rolled her eyes.

"It's Kelly, says she needs to see me. Something important."

"Maybe...maybe now's your chance to-"

"Stop. It's probably something small. I'll see you later -kay?"

"Sure."

I shot Kelly a text back then turned to Rachel, "Don't let Paul eat everything before I come back."

"No promises," Rachel chuckled.

I lumbered out the door towards Kelly's window. What could be so important? I mean it's pretty early... The text was so vague too. Short and to the point but vague. I was at her house in a minute. I looked inside at the bed from outside her window. Geeze it felt like moments ago we were there, her next to me...First the movie then the sunrise...her smile...STOP. Damn blood. what to I gotta do to forget her?

I tapped the glass before climbing inside seconds later. "Hey," I said, "What's going on? You okay?"

She stood a few feet away from me, arms crossed, staring. The normal sparkle in her eyes gone and her lips formed a straight line. "I was curious as to when you were going to stop lying to me."

My jaw practically dropped. Holy crap. Wh-what-How-Who? My eyes grew wider as she added," It's bad enough the entire town's in on it and hell, I am honestly amazed that Emily and Rachel, my two closest friends since I got here, were in on it too," She stepped toward me, staring up to me, "But the worst," she said, gritting her teeth, "the worst is that I've _finally_ let people in, which honestly has been the hardest thing to do these last few months and now suddenly every single person is betraying that trust. And even _more_ than that," She stood on her tiptoes, keeping our eyes locked, "for some reason I trusted _you_ since the moment we met. I've been so.. _sure_ , stupidly now, that you couldn't, _wouldn't_ ever lie to me. And now...now I find out that you're part of a group that thinks you can turn into wolves and fight off vampires...but still didn't have the guts to tell me no matter how incredibly _insane_ it sounds," she paused a second. I swallowed, eyes drifting away from here momentarily to focus on anything around the room. Anything to get me from seeing her angry...and hurt. When I met her gaze again she said, "So, tell me, are you going to stop lying to me? or...or is this 'friendship' over?"

I swallowed. I felt glued to the spot. Her eyes still focused on me and all I could hear was my own heart beating furiously against my chest. I was a little relieved to be honest that she didn't know how I-my blood felt about her. The rest though...How? How could she know? What all _does_ she even know? Who told her...it's a gag order no way anyone could…I balled my fists, backing away and shaking my head, "I'm gonna kill Seth."

"Don't kill Seth," she sighed, "What's he got to do with it anyway?"

Kelly sat back on her bed, raising her brows at me, "Or was he supposed to get me to join _or_ am I not on the mailing list?"

"That's not it," I groaned, looking at her. She's making it harder…acting like I _want_ to keep her in the dark….which okay I partially do but not this part... "Then how did you-"

"How'd I figure it out? she answered, pushing herself off the bed and standing toe to toe with me, "Easy, I remember the stories my dad used to tell me and Eric when we were growing up. So when I heard Eric and Leah talking outside my door I knew _exactly_ what they meant. I never for a second thought that this entire town thinks they're true because really...who would? It's crazy. Yet it does explain why everyone acts weird around Eric and I..well just me now. And why all of a sudden him and Leah are inseparable and he's acting like a lovesick puppy when normally its the other way around…" she paused, shaking her head, "I know why you couldn't tell me...because you know as soon as you did I'd tell you **exactly** what it sounds like. insanity. You're all insane...and now you've dragged Eric into it!"

I didn't know where to start. She's right, it's crazy. To everyone else, it sounds like that. Right as I began to say so she threw her hands up and said, "You know what? Forget this. I can't do **this** right now."

She hopped out her own window and disappeared, leaving me alone. How the hell did this happen? It is crazy...hell some days I can't even believe it. She should be mad, she doesn't deserve the lies. Part of me even thinks maybe this is good, if she can't handle it then she can't be my soulmate right? But too bad that's not the side that's winning out. The other side wants to go after her, beg her to forgive me and fix it. I groaned. Only one person could help me do that, only one person knows how to deal with her angry.

I knocked on Eric's door. Leah opened it with a glare, "What do you want?"

"To fix the problem you two just made."

"What are you talking about?" Eric asked, setting down the controller.

"Kelly heard you two," I sighed, "She knows the secret."

"She should anyway," Leah scoffed, "She's your imprint."

"Wait-What?" Eric said, turning to me with widened eyes, "Jake's going to be my brother-in-law?"

"Slow down," I said, "I didn't tell her...yet. but right now she's pissed cuz she thinks everybody lied to her."

"As opposed to just you?" Leah glared.

I ignored Leah and turned to Eric, "She'll listen to you...just, "I swallowed, "Please let me tell her...the imprinting thing... myself."

"Pssh," Leah sighed, "When's that gonna happen? He should tell her now., "She slid her hand in Eric's, "Look how happy we are."

I gritted my teeth, "Just because it's the right time for _you_ doesn't mean it is for _us_."

"You mean for _you,_ " she scoffed, "You don't want to say anything because you're holding on to that leech loving-"

I shoved her against the door, "Don't even think of finishing that sentence."

"Enough!" Eric said, sighing then looking at me, "I can talk to her but you're coming with. You need to be there for her."

I nodded as he turned to Leah, grinning at her, "I won't be long."

"Okay," she smiled as they kissed. I had to turn away. I felt like I was going to hurl. I stepped outside the door.

"Same spot she always goes to?"

"Probably."

We didn't talk much on the way there. Both too focused on the task at hand I guess. I was just wondering how the hell to get myself out of this. You know, without telling her the imprinting thing.

Once close, Eric turned to me, "Stay close but let me do the talking okay?"

I nodded. I would hear everything anyway. Wolf thing.

"If you've come to tell me it's not as crazy as it sounds, you might as well head back," I heard her say.

"Look," Eric began, "I know you're probably pretty pissed-"

"I AM pissed," she cut him off.

"But-it's not their fault."

"Not their fault? Seriously? they're all buying into delusion.I can't believe _you_ are!"

"It's not thought. Ask Jake. He can show you."

"I don't care if he _thinks_ he can turn into a wolf…"

I didn't hear the rest, couldn't. I had to step away. The way she said it...it cut and cut deep. I wanted to be her friend still but-Damn. She really _is_ mad. Again my brain keeps telling me that this is good, this means more time to focus on Bella and getting her back. But then that stupid other side keeps chiming in that I should make things right, that she won't be _that_ mad if I just talk to her. I wish it'd shut up.

Next thing I knew, Eric started walking back toward me.

"Well?"

"She's still mad but," he sighed, "Just be honest. It's the best thing you can do."

"Thanks."

He nodded, walking back toward town.

I turned toward the tree off a little ways where she sat. Shit. I gotta do this.I have to. I don't want to. Or do I? Damn brain. Why can't it all be simple. At least with Bella, it's easy. Kill the leeches and make her happy. But this? Why the hell did it have to get complicated? I stepped toward the tree slowly. My hands twitched. When I saw her I gulped. Even looking away, I felt the tension in the air. Her golden curls fell just right across her shoulders, blowing slightly with the breeze. I felt my breath catch when she turned to face me.

"I don't bite."

"Wouldn't blame you if you did at this point."

She looked at me for a second then sighed, facing the water. What's she thinking? That I'm crazy. She said as much. And yet...suddenly I never wanted anyone to see me, the _real_ me as much as I wanted her to right this second. She **has to** see me. I phased without another second going by. When she turned back I watched her jump slightly in surprise. Her eyes widened and then...she jumped down. Our eyes locked as she stepped towards me. Her eyes sparkled as she took in all of me yet she hesitated before coming closer. She bit her lip, cautiously reaching out her hand to touch me. The minute her hand touched my fur, ran her fingers through it...I almost had to step back. It I wasn't wolfed out it'd be like her running a hand down my arms, my chest. The contact...like a caress and she just kept doing it. Her lips had upturned into a slight smile...She has no idea what she's doing to me...can she? When our eyes met again she gasped, taking a step back.

"So...it is true."

She reached out again but I knew if she touched me again I'd be done for, begging at her feet to have me and end this torture. I shot to the tree line and phased back, throwing on my shorts in the process. I came back slowly but she rushed to meet me. Within seconds her hands touched me from my forearms to my chest...Good god she has to stop…

"You really _are_ a wolf."

I gulped, meeting her eyes. "Does it freak you out?"

"Honestly? Yes…"

Well damn. Even though I don't think we should even be meant for each other that just...stung. I felt my stomach drop and looked away, backing up but she came right back in front of me. "But that's normal," she said, gently running her hands up my forearms again, "I mean who wouldn't if they thought werewolves and whatnot were fiction and one suddenly came to live before their eyes. Anyone would take a long time to process that." Smiling at me she added, "But that doesn't mean I'm going anywhere it just means...it'll take a little bit of...adjusting."

Suddenly part of the weight fell off my shoulders. I smiled, "So you don't mind me being a werewolf?"

She beamed up at me, "As long as your not going to change me into one I guess I can handle it."

I laughed, "It doesn't work like that."

She stood quiet a sec then said, "Then I guess you're more of a shape-shifter unless I'm wrong with the lore….oh now _I_ sound crazy….do you change into anything...else?"

"Not as far as I know," I chuckled.

Within seconds she wrapped herself around me, hugging me tight. I hugged her back, squeezing her close to me.

"Just promise me something."

"Anything" I said. If she's cool with this what else could there be?

Our eyes met again. "No more lies," she said, "I don't care what it is. From this point forward we will always be completely honest with each other no matter what. Deal?"

Honesty. She wants honesty. That's not too much to ask is it? If I say yes, I acknowledge I'll have to tell her she's my imprint. But...I'm still being honest if it's not right way...right?

"Deal."

We both smiled and I walked her home. When we got back to her house, I just sat by her on the bed when she asked, "Will you explain it all to me? Everything? I don't want to be missing out anymore."

"Thought you had to make food?"

She bit her lip, thinking a second. Damn she has to stop that. She looks so-

"How about I give you some if you tell me?"

I smiled at her. I couldn't help it. We headed downstairs and I talked. I told her how the pack got started, how everyone else changes and even about my turn. But when I talked about Bella-I could barely do it. I knew if she just gave me a chance I could fix it and get rid of that good for nothing-"

"Hey," Kelly said, looking up at me, "If you don't want to talk about her you don't have to. I get it. She picked a vampire and there is a treaty that deals with them which will break any day now when he changes her right?"

I nodded. She sure can boil things down into a nutshell.

"So when can I kick some vampire ass? I'm in," she grinned.

"We'll kick the vampire ass," I said, "You'll stay here."

Last thing I need is her life in danger. Why the hell do they always want to help out?

She gasped and grabbed her chest in fake shock," It's insulting that you think I can't."

I laughed. Who is this girl? "I don't _think_ you can't," I answered, "I _know_. Besides, it's our job. Piece of cake."

"Fine," she whined.

I couldn't help it. I can't even explain why. I just couldn't resist the urge. I pulled her into my arms, squeezing her gently. I swallowed. How can I want her right here, just like this but also want her as far away as possible? "I was worried," I whispered, "That if you ever found out you'd...run away...as far as you could…." I paused, looking down at her, "And even though I'm glad you didn't...maybe you should."

"I'd never leave," she answered, squeezing me back, "I'll still be your friend not matter what. Even if you were a leper...which if you are please stop hugging me."

We laughed and stood there, still partially hugging. I didn't want her to move and yet it felt so wrong. This is where Bella should be. Shouldn't she? And yet the girl in front of me...it just felt right, natural. Damn blood.

A howl pulled me out of the daze. Her brows raised, looking at me. "We've been out each day and night trying to get any news. Guess it's time to go again."

"Will you be back tonight?"

Damn. Those eyes. They have me stuck to this spot. "Or are you going to try and brave Pauls snoring?"

I didn't say anything. Seconds ticked by. I'm playing with fire. The flames are licking at my feet. No way any good can come from this...Still, I hear myself say, "Is is _okay_ to come back here?"

I swallowed. Say no. Please. Say you don't want to see me. Don't give me a reason. No excuse to come back.

"You're always welcome here."

Crap.

"Keep your window open."

Lock it. Forget me. Please. Oh I am so screwed.


	7. Chapter 7: We Hit the Road and the Tatto

Chapter 7: We Hit the Road and the Tattoo Parlor

I need a distraction. Bad. But Bella _actually_ did decide to go to college. C'mon Bells-you don't need to give in to him. You know. Ever. But she did so I'm stuck. And of course, because I'm stuck with nothing to do about Bella-it's all about Kelly. I shouldn't care. Not about her how her hair shines when we get a hint of sun. Not about the blue pools that can keep me glued in place. Not about the way she smiles or how she laughs. But I do. I freaking do and I can't make it stop.

October. November. The falling of the leaves, the crisp mornings, that's what she tells me anyway. Running this hot of a temp I don't feel it anymore. I remember it a little but not much. Part of me wishes I did. She wore more hoodies now and called me crazy for being fine shirtless. Not my fault though, wolf thing. Damn her smile when she threw some leaves at me...God she's beautiful. And I don't deserve her.

One day we sat on our tree. Ours because we're the two who claimed it. First beach, still calming. Well sort of. Now it was just the one place where I didn't see all the couples.

"So much for a rarity," I scoffed, "Everyone's practically a couple but us."

"It could be worse," she offered.

"How?" I asked, raising a brow.

"Give me a sec," she replied, "I'll think of something."

I jumped down, staring off into the waves. "Seth, Brady, Collin and Embry are the only ones who haven't but they still might. Especially Embry," I said, sighing, "since he's older. The others might still have a chance that they won't."

She jumped down, standing next to me. "So what's the whole deal with imprinting anyway?" she asked, "I mean I know it's not _supposed_ to happen as often as it has around here but I guess I'm ...curious as to the specifics." She smiled and nudged me, "Still an overprotective older sister you know."

"Honestly," I chuckled then sighed, "I'm starting to wonder if everything we've ever been told has been right."

"Well then," she said, "Start there."

I turned to her. God did she have to look at me like that? Her eyes twinkled as she looked at me. Slowly I started to walk and she followed, stepping in stride next to me. I stared at the waves. "Imprinting...It's something special to our tribe, " I started, "At least it's supposed to be. The easiest way to think of it is just...finding someone," I glanced at her, "that one person you are meant to be with."

Those damn baby blues lit up when I said 'meant to be'. I swear they're starting to sparkle...Suddenly I felt..hotter but not like fire like...a glow. She's making me freaking glow. Crap.

"Everything changes...," I said, trying to keep it together, "...and instead of caring about yourself, all you can think about, care about is them. It's like," Oh god. She's gotta stop looking at me like that. "It's like they become your world and nothing else matters. They're your soulmate."

As I said it, I never felt her pull on me so strong. I know I shouldn't fight it but I have to. For Bella.

"Sounds a lot like just falling in love in general."

"What do I know," I chuckled, letting out a breath I had no idea I'd been holding, "I just…," I paused again, feeling that pull toward her again with every fiber of my being, "being around everyone like this and as a wolf having to see it. It's...disgusting."

And hella tempting to let go and tell her everything.

"I am so glad," she chuckled, "That I don't have to see the thoughts Leah has about my brother."

"You _should_ be," I replied, gagging.

One big downside of wolf telepathy was _that._ Ugh.

"So...why exactly are you so against it?"

Shit. Why'd she have to ask that? It is a legit question. Why am I? Why don't I just give in to this happily-ever-after and -oh right.

"It doesn't feel like a choice for either person," I replied, "For me, it's my blood telling me who my perfect match is and I get no say," I said, pausing a sec, "For them they'd feel almost guilted into loving me because I'd give them all my attention. It's not fair."

 **It's not fair**. Why can't the rest of them see it? Right-they don't have the same problem I do!

"You're afraid it's going to happen to you."

I met her eyes again, staring back, a scowl appearing on my face. Not that it will. It _has_.

She smiled, turning to look out at the waves. She hugged herself as she said, "I think it's kind of sweet. It's like...destiny. I would love to find out who I'm destined to be with….if there is someone that's meant to be with me that is."

My jaw dropped. I didn't expect that. Oh God. It's me. ME. You wouldn't want me, would you? I'm all sorts of messed up. Change your mind. Now.

She rolled her eyes at me, "So I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic, sue me."

She has no idea. No idea that her 'meant to be' is right here. Yup. This freaking mess. Us-you and me-we're apparently soulmates. God I want to tell her. Have her slap me and run away. Would she even? Run away? Or if I confess it all...would she accept it? Would she let me...kiss her? Crazy, that's crazy….right?

We walked and walked. I ended up holding her hand. I knew I shouldn't but I need to. I kept sneaking looks. Should I say it? No, you dummy. Yes. No. Yes. No. DAMN! Suddenly, I spotted a speck of something on her wrist I hadn't noticed. "What's that?" I asked.

"That?" she replied, "It's my tattoo. The Chinese symbol for love," she sighed, "I got it a little over a year ago for my birthday. It was...a present from my ex."

"Sorry," I said, "I didn't mean to bring up bad memories."

"Don't. You didn't." she smiled, "You wanna get out of here?

"Your house?"

"No I mean _really_ out of here. Let's go somewhere. Anywhere. Port Angeles maybe. We can get away from the love-dovey couple-y stuff going on here and just have some fun. It's still early. The roads shouldn't be terrible and it's not that far," she paused, glancing up at me, "Please?"

I wasn't about to turn down a chance to get away but should I really keep spending so much time with her? I wasn't about to fight it. Not now. "I can finally get the Rabbit out for a spin," I grinned and she grinned back. We hurried back and sped out, jumping on the highway. Hands on the wheel, it felt good. Finally, a bit of a break. She shifted in her seat, facing me. Unexpectedly she said, "So now that I know Leah imprinted on Eric, you gonna tell me why you laughed so hard that day?"

"I laughed because I never thought she would," I chuckled, "You don't know how much of a relief it is. Thought, it'd be nice to _not_ know all her thoughts about him."

"Speaking of that night...when I came in you were really pissed about something and you just talked to your dad...did he say something?"

I gritted my teeth. The night flew back into my mind. "Yeah," I replied, "He said something."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

I glanced over at her for a second. You. It's always about you. "He told me to forget about Bella," I said, "That she's never coming back, never gonna pick me and so I should move on," I scoffed, "Basically, he thinks I should forget everything and ask you out."

We locked eyes for a minute then she sighed, looking out her window. "Why does _everyone_ want us to date?"

I swallowed. She's been getting it too? Really? They had to guilt trip her? Can't they just leave us be?

"Well whatever. Parents are like that," she sighed, "At least you still have your dad. I really miss mine, even for stuff like that."

I took her hand. I had to. It's not easy losing a parent, much less both. She gave me a smile and we were quiet. Until the song came on and she sang. Her voice...it's not even just how I feel about her. She's good, really good.

"Really," I asked, "Lady Gaga?"

"Why not?" she grinned, "Besides _I'm on the edge...of glory!_ "

We laughed though I almost had a heart attack when she rolled down her window and hung out the car. After I pulled on her arm to come back in she did. Laughing in her seat she squeezed my had to each 'with you'. I felt lighting shoot through me. Oh man. She's something. If I'm not careful...

Luckily we rolled into town before I thought any more about how she was making me feel.

"What do you want to do first?"

"Well," she said, ""You saw my tattoo and it got me thinking I want another one...for my parents."

"You sure?"

"Don't worry," she grinned, "You can handle the tattoo shop. I promise I'll fend off the biker dudes for you."

I laughed. She was good at making me do that.

"Never pictured you as the tattoo type," I said as we waited in back. Also not the 'meant-to-be-with-me' type either.

"I wasn't," she said, "at first. Now I like them. But I think they need to have meaning. I think everyone who gets one needs to remember that."

I gently took her wrist again, looking at the symbol, "I'm sure this one has meaning...or did."

"It still does," she replied, glancing at me, "I just haven't found it again," she sighed and chuckled, "I don't even know if I will. Then again, I don't know if I'm ready for it."

I gulped. Me either. I'm not. Or am I? But she shouldn't be afraid or think she won't have it again...I mean...she deserves it. She's amazing. She deserves to have someone love her, hold her, tell her she's beautiful…

"Maybe I should get a broken heart next to it…"

"Maybe we both should," I said, locking eyes with her. We're the same. Two people, both broken from the people we loved.

What a day. We walked, talked and got to know each other. As if we didn't already know a ton but now it's like...it's like I've known her forever. I've never felt this...close with a person. At least not a girl. I thought Bella and I were close but not like this. This felt...different. I didn't talk much on the way back. God this is all so crazy.

"Thanks...for today," she said as I pulled into her drive.

"I should be thanking you," I said, "I've been meaning to get the Rabbit out but never got the chance."

"In that case I say...you're welcome," she grinned.

We laughed and sat there for a few moments, just looking at each other. When she opened the door, it broke the trance. "See you tomorrow she said, before closing the door.

"Yeah."

She waved and hurried inside. I backed up but still caught sight of her in my rearview mirror. Oh no. This isn't good. I'm falling for her like freaking dominoes. I have to make it stop-to fight. But how?


	8. Chapter 8: The One Where I Freak Out

Chapter 8: The One Where I Freak Out

No matter how many times my head tells me to stay home, inevitably I get pulled to be by her. She's like a magnet-the strongest one out there. Her force is just something I can't get out of. My head keeps telling me no but the rest of me surprisingly-or _un_ surprisingly to everyone else-keeps saying to be next to her. And I'm okay with it. Is is me...or my blood? That's the question isn't it?

I love Bella. I do. I've loved her since we first started hanging out again when she moved back. I love her smile, her laugh but now she's starting to disappear. Each day I keep forgetting a little more about her. It's like anything I learn about Kelly replaces something I know about Bella. It's driving me nuts. I should just leave Kelly be and keep focused on Bella, that's what my head says. Just hang out less-but the thing is...not being next to her is **hard** , _really_ **hard** to do.

Against my better judgement-sorry brain- I made my way over to a very familiar window. I gave a gentle knock, like always. This time no answer came. Weird. I knocked again. She could've popped out of her room for a sec. I sighed, then sauntered over to the door. I knocked and a few seconds later Eric opened the door. His eyes, wide at first, sunk when they saw me.

"Sorry to disappoint," I sighed. He probably was waiting on Leah, "Kelly around?"

"She didn't come to you?"

"No," I said, "Why-What's up?"

"Come in…"

I followed Eric to the living room, where he sank into a chair next to Joe. Joe had a phone to his ear. "Let me know if you see her," he said before ending the call.

My whole body tensed and all my senses skyrocketed. "What's happening?" I said, suddenly alert, "Where is she?"

"Gone," Joe replied, "She ran out of here about 20 minutes ago."

"We've been trying to find her ever since," Eric sighed.

"What do you mean...gone?" I said, "Why?"

What the hell? Where is she? Why'd she leave? I swear we already figured things out. Was it me...was I coming to close to her? WasI freaking her out?

Eric glanced at me then Joe then back at me. "She-" he paused, "Well we both got some news…" again his eyes looked over at Joe then back to me, "And she bolted," he sighed, "She always does this. When something she can't handle comes her way-Boom. She runs. Same with Mom and Dad."

It can't have been me, not the way Eric kept looking at Joe.

"She can't have gone far," I said, focusing on Kelly, "Where have you looked so far?"

"Everywhere," Eric replied, "Leah was at Emily's and the rest of the pack haven't found her. Not even at the beach. No one's seen her."

"Neither has Sue or your father," Joe added, "They told me they'd let me know if they hear anything."

Gone. She's missing. I felt the air sucked out of me. Is she hurt? Is she scared? Where is she? Why is this happening?

"I have to find her," I said, "Is there anywhere...anywhere else you can think of?"

Eric sighed, "Back at home she used to hide out in her Bug. But she didn't bring that and we already check the Impala-"

I didn't wait or answer. I just ran as fast as I could home. In my gut I knew not only where she was but that she needed warmth- and _now_. Don't ask me how. I'm sure it's a wolf thing. Or imprint thing. It doesn't matter. I just know what she needs and I'm going to give it to her. As I reached home, I hustled around the back. As the garage came in sight, I bounded toward the door. Throwing it open, I saw the Rabbit sitting there. I rushed over and yanked open the door to the backseat.

Kelly had curled herself in the fetal position, wearing only in a light sweater and jeans. Relief rushed over me but I saw shivers overtake her body. Wrapping her up in my arms, I pulled her close to me, ignoring the open door. All the worry and anxiety melted away. I felt her everywhere to check for anywhere she might be hurt. At least that's what I keep telling myself. Maybe I kinda caressed her face a little and gently ran my fingers through her hair. But it was just protection right? But her in my arms like this...I can't help it. I gently kissed her hair, thanking whoever was listening for giving her back to me. Safe. I have her here safe.

"Eric was right," I whispered. You do have a thing for hiding in cars."

Those bright blue eyes sparkled as she smiled up at me, leaning into my chest. "N-Not my fault. I-I-I f-forgot how c-cold it is without y-you a-a-around."

I held her tight, willing my body to be hotter. She needs to be indoors. My body heat's not enough. I slowly scooted us out the door. Her teeth chattered as I lifted her up, carrying her to my door. I pushed it open, setting her down on the couch. I quickly shut the door, hearing her sniffling. God I hope she didn't get frostbite. I poked around her jeans for her phone. Damn-why are girls pockets so tiny? They stick to them for cryin' out loud…

"Hey!" she protested but I got her phone. I dialed Eric.

"Found her," I said, "She was in my car, at my house."

"Is she...is she alright?" Joe asked on the other end.

"She's fine-just cold," I paused, "I'll keep her here, at my house and get her warmed up."

"And safe," he said, "Please keep her safe."

"I will," I said, "I'll bring her back in the morning. She can sleep in my room and I'll take the air mattress since Rachel is out for the night. Okay? Bye."

I tossed her phone towards her, meeting her eyes. She looked away quickly. To hell with that. She's not about to put me through that and not look at me. I sat next to her, putting an arm around her. "You getting warm yet?"

"Almost."

"You gonna tell me what happened that you decided to freeze to death? I mean...I get to your your house and they tell me you're gone. Then Eric said you have a thing for hiding in cars…"

"I get it," she replied, sliding away from me, "That's how you found me," she paused then groaned, "It's not my fault I didn't think of a coat. I didn't think I'd need one."

She didn't look at me. "Hey," I said, "What happened?"

She didn't say anything, just bit her lip,. Her hands fiddled in her lap. I slid closer to her and gently touched her shoulder. "C'mon," I said, "We tell each other everything, right?"

Kelly sighed but then spilled it all. Holy crap. Joe's her real dad. I didn't know that. You'd think in this small of a town that kinda thing would've been out in the open by now. No wonder the looks...Shit. She leaned back and I froze. She's so close...too close. But I want her here...this freaking close. What's wrong with me? I wrapped my arm back around her, pulling her closer to my chest. Keeping her safe, that's all I'm doing….just keeping her safe. And warm. That too.

We didn't talk. Probably for the best. Her head on my chest like that...how did I ever notice how fast my heart beats with her so damn close? This is nuts! And yet somehow I've never felt so comfortable in my life. Why can't it stop? How can I still love Bella but want Kelly so much? Friends. We're just friends. That's what she wants and it's all I want. Right?

"Thanks," she said, "For being here for me that is. I really don't know what I'd do without you Jake."

"Me either," I said.

Except, you know, not be torn in two different directions.

She moved slightly. "So," she said, "Which way to a bed because I'm super warm now and bound to pass out any minute. Plus you being a superb pillow is not helping at all."

Crap. It hit me like a Mack truck. The way she looked, mussed up hair, twinkling eyes, beautiful smile with those lips-those lips that suddenly I couldn't take my eyes off of. Oh God...I want to kiss her. The urge came from deep down within me and I have no freaking idea what to do. Or...I could just lean in-NO!

"You can-uh-sleep in my room," I stammered, "Where you found me at the party."

"Thanks," her lips curled upward, "You're going to get some sleep too right? I mean...Paul's not here to keep you awake,"

"Yeah...maybe." Doubtful. Maybe never again.

"Well I won't keep you awake." she said.

That's what you think…

"Unless I get cold but I'll yell. Otherwise you're an accomplice to me freezing to death," she grinned, "Night Jake."

"Night."

After she disappeared, I leaned back, wide awake. Holy crap that was close. I was literally moments away from kissing her. _Her._ Kelly. Kissing Kelly. Not Bella. I turned over and squeezed my eyes shut. I willed myself to think about Bella. Brown hair, brown eyes….

Next thing I know, there she is. not Bella. Kelly. She's doing that damn lip bite and smiling at me. God she knows what that does to me. I can't help it. I pick her up, swinging her around.

"Careful," she giggles, meeting my eyes.

"You're not worried are you?"

"With you?" she raised a brow then smiled, "Never."

Her golden waves framed her oval face with two blue pools glimmering back at me. I lean in and press my lips to hers. Lighting bolts run through my body the minute I feel hers move with mine. I pull her closer. Kelly. I need her next to me. With me...I'm dreaming. I have to be. But there we are, her laughing before I kiss her again. I'm melting faster than ice cream on a summer day. Each sound she makes….I smile back. I can't help it. She makes me happy. I've never felt so happy and...free.

I jolt awake. The sun's shining through the windows and there she stands, right next to me. "Hey," I said, "How'd you sleep?"

"Not terrible," she said, "Though I'd like to know how you did. There's no way that could be a comfortable way to sleep."

"It's better than it looks."

She paused a second. "I should go...I need to apologize."

She did it, damn lip bite. She glanced at me, then her feet and back at me.

"You want me to come with you?"

"You won't mind?"

How can I? All I want is for her to keep smiling...I took her back home. I held her hand. I'm her best friend and I'll stay that but damn that dream still lingered. I tried to focus. Anything. What's she saying? When she held her baby picture, I stared in awe. She was just as beautiful then as now.

"You were tiny," I said.

"Yeah, you would crush me in those huge hands," she chuckled.

"I'm…" I paused a sec, "Gentler than I look."

Our eyes met. No way I'd ever do her any physical harm. I think I made it clear. I wanted to kiss her again. Show her a different side of me...DAMN.

A throat cleared, breaking our gaze. Joe looked at me. Crap. He knows. Who am I kidding? _Everyone_ knows. Everyone but Kelly and that one's on me. I gotta get out of her. And I did. Family should have family time, right. Good call. Just have to figure out a way to forget that dream. That all-too-realistic dream.


	9. Chapter 9: Deck the Halls Yeah Whatever

Chapter 9: Deck the Halls. Yea Whatever.

Space. I gave her some. She spent time with her family. It should be good. I could get my focus back on Bella right? Wrong. I missed her. Every day we didn't hang out I counted the hours-minutes-freaking seconds until she texted me and we could hang out again. She came by Emily's a bit so that helped too.

Sam ordered less patrols since Bella & the leech were back on a break from college. Stay to our side-don't cause trouble-yadda yadda. I should call Bells...try to hang out with her. No telling when that filthy bloodsucker is going to make his move. Day by day I wait and get nothing. Zilch. Nada. One more day she's breathing and one more day I haven't come any closer to getting her back. I keep picking up my phone about to call or text but end up doing neither. What can I say? Divorce him and marry me? Who the hell gets married this young anyway?

Then I'd look at her...Kelly. I tried not to let her catch me staring. I could care less what the rest of them think. I'm just trying to figure this whole damn thing out. Why me? Why her? All I know is everything makes sense. Sometimes I even get glimpses...like a daydream of what our lives could be. Happy. Just like that dream...that kiss…

"Jake?"

"Yea?"

"I gotta go, dinner won't make itself you know."

" Kay"

I followed her out the door after she waved to everyone.

"Movie night soon?" she asked, glancing over at me.

"Deal."

She waved and headed for home. I watched her go for a minute before popping back through the screen door.

"Kelly on her way home?" Emily asked.

I nodded.

"She's been there more often than with you," Rachel added.

I shrugged, "Can't blame her. She's getting closer to her dad."

"Don't see you trying to hang out with ours," Rachel said.

"That's different."

"Bet he wishes he was taking up her time though," Jared said, sitting down.

I rolled my eyes. "The amount we hang out right now is fine. We're just friends."

Jared snorted.

"What?"

"If you say so," he laughed, shoving another hot dog in.

"You two aren't going to stay friends long with the looks you've been giving her," Emily grinned.

"We're all surprised she's not in love with you already," Rachel said.

"What 'look'? "I raised an eyebrow, "What are you talking about?"

"Really Jake?" Rachel shook her head and laughed, "You're going to sit there and try to tell us you didn't just spend the whole time she was here looking at her like she's the best thing on the planet?"

"He doesn't know he is," Quil said,

"Yea, it's just something we do after imprinting," Jared said, "Can't help it."

I crossed my arms. "I haven't been giving any looks a friend wouldn't give."

They all started laughing.

"Yeah...okay Jake," Paul guffawed.

"Jake-dude-" Seth choked out between laughs.

Embry shook his head, chuckling, "Jake...no. You've been looking at her non-stop. Do us all a favor, yourself included-just tell her already."

"There's nothing to tell," I gritted out, "But excuse me if I don't wanna sit around and get lectured. I'll swing a perimeter anyway."

"Jake-"

I pushed open the screen door and left anyway. Who cares if the Cullens are on their side. Maybe I'll just sit there, waiting to see Bella. If she even ever came out. I sighed. What if they're right? I was trying not to stare but was I? Have I been doing it this whole time? more importantly...has she noticed? Last thing I want is to give her the wrong idea. I mean yeah I feel something but I'm not gonna-it's not gonna happen.

After one night of shit-do-I-stare-too-much and oh-crap-I-came-too-close I decided to not get too close or touch her. Well… within reason. If she was cold the hell if I wouldn't warm her up. Flashbacks of her in the Rabbit still haunted me. Screw this. Screw whatever my blood has to say. What about me? Can't I choose? I mean she is great-really great actually….but is that my blood or my head doing the talking?

I draped one arm around her. It drove me nuts. I kept flashing back to her shivering in the Rabbit and warming her up...then that damn dream. Her lips... I have to make it stop. Who cares if it's killing me that I'm not as close to her as my blood wants-as I want...God I don't even know who wants what anymore…

I left room. I always left room. I'm not going to let it get awkward. Kelly pushed the DVD into the player. I caught sight of it and whined, "Chick flick?" She climbed on the bed, just rolling her eyes at me. "If you watch it, you'll like it," she promised, "It has funny bits too."

Thank God the popcorn sat between us. It kept me from moving closer. I had a need, like primal to be closer to her. I held it off...barely. I even liked the movie. I identified with one of the characters a little too well actually. The movie distracted me a bit too much. Apparently at some point I slid the popcorn bowl down and intertwined our fingers. It just felt...right. I glanced over at her and her lips curled upwards into the sweetest smile I'd ever seen. I grinned from ear to ear. And that's it. That's when I realized I was doing it. 'The Look'. This time I caught myself. I immediately yanked my hand back, crossing my arms and focusing on the movie. I keep crossing the line. If I'm not careful…

"So what'd you think?" she asked when the credits rolled.

"I like it," I answered with a smile, "You were right."

"Well I still have plenty more…" she grinned.

Past her I saw Embry and Quil. I immediately jumped up. "I better go," I said, "See you tomorrow."

I jumped out the window without looking back. That was close. Too freaking close. Don't need her falling for me. Maybe it's good she's been sticking closer to home and spending less time with me. Hell if I can't figure out what to do it's better she doesn't have the same problem. Then why does it feel like the worst freaking thing imaginable?

Christmas Eve rolled around. I couldn't stay away. I texted her that I was on my way. I couldn't wait to see her face when she opened it. I was so sly too. I had Eric slip it under the her knowing. A light snow fell gently and matted my fur. I phased back once I reached her window. I tossed one leg in after popping on my shorts. I shook my head, sending droplets flying. She giggled as I ran my hand through my hair.

"A little snowy out there?"

"A little bit."

"You make me cold just looking at you," she smiled and fake shivered.

"Only I'm not….see?" I gently touched her.

She only smiled as we headed inside to the living room, towards the Christmas tree. Her eyes lit up as soon as she opened it. The model car was a good bet. She hugged me as I started to open hers.

I simply couldn't believe it. A picture. A simple thing. It was of her and me. We were laughing. In it though, I finally saw what everyone else did. The way I looked at her. I swear I don't even mean to. I glanced back at her smiling at me.

"It was from Rachel's birthday. Remember? I don't even remember what we were talking about but we started laughing so hard before we stopped for like 2 seconds and starting again. I think Seth was the one who caught this and texted it it to us. ...do you like it?"

Yes, it's perfect! NO, it shows what I don't want you to see. Yes. No. Yes. No….

"Of course," I replied.

Then she made some comment about me not being able to see, as if I couldn't, and she led me over to more light. As if my wolf vision wasn't enough. But when we stopped as she angled the light I saw exactly what we stood under. Shit. Mistletoe.

"Forget about it," she shook her head, "Eric probably put it up for Leah."

"Isn't it bad luck if you don't?" I heard myself say. WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM? WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU IDIOT.

"I don't know," she shrugged, "...No one's kissed me under it before."

No. NO. Don't say it. I want to. I want to be your first. Your last. NO. I don't. Yes I do. No...I gulped. What the hell am I going to do? I felt like I was watching myself move, stepping closer to her. NO. I kissed her...cheek. There. That's friend-like right?

"Now you have."

"I guess...I have."

Phew. That was close. I helped her wrap a few more presents before I had to bolt. Wanting to kiss her so bad was like torture. She's like a freaking fire and I just keep moving closer and closer to the flame,. How much longer before I get burned?


	10. Chapter 10: My Birthday Party

Chapter 10: My Birthday Party

January. Birthday. Another year gone by. Another year older though I don't look it. The whole age thing not being an issue is kinda nice. Just wish Bella saw it that way. Too bad she just wants to stop hers altogether. I still don't get it. Why does she want to do it? What the hell is the damn appeal of being a leech? Not even just that. Why does she want... _him_? Why why why….all the damn questions that circle in my head.

So the pack decided to throw me a surprise party. With wolf telepathy it wasn't much of a surprise. That and they know I'm not huge into parties and yet somehow there's one in my honor. Everyone in town is invited practically. I know _she_ 'll be there at least. I guess I can deal. As much as we should spend time apart I want Kelly around. Man I'm a mess.

Thankfully since the snow's been falling we've been going out more as a pack. Tracks and scent through the snow have helped us get rid of a couple leeches coming too close to our land. Good news. Well...almost. If we're out at least I've been distracted. When we're not…

Let's just say I have too much time to think.

I've been trying and really _trying_ hard to not look at Kelly. Not in _that_ way. I've been trying to forget the urges to kiss her, be close to her. My brain is on board but the rest of me is not getting the message. It doesn't matter how much I try. That damn picture proves it. Everytime I look at it, it's a reminder that my damn blood has made a decision, not me. I was for sure I'd imprint on Bella. Hell, I thought I had! But when I lived imprinting through Sam's mind...I knew it didn't. I practically begged for it after everything that happened with her and it didn't matter who. I searched high and low….I never, not for a second, thought it would _really_ happen. Pssh. Careful what you wish for. Thank God she just wants to be friends. That I can handle, at least I can control everything else I'm feeling. If she wanted anymore- I'd be in trouble.

Not like I haven't been noticing how much _more_ I feel. I did feel it the moment we met-that damn lightning bolt and incredible pull. The minute she whipped around I swear I felt my heart stop and beat harder and faster than it ever has. And sure...imprinting means you find the person right for you….but damn does she have to like **every freaking thing** I do? Everyday, literally, she will do or say something, I swear and it's like BOOM! I can feel it all over again. It's like a rush when you're zooming down a rollercoaster. I hear my dad's voice in my head saying, 'See, you're meant for each other. Why not just let it happen?

I can't. I just _can't._ I love Bella. She's the one for me. I know it too. I made her a promise. I would love her until her hearts stop beating. Hell even after. Besides, who said if you imprint you **have to** fall in love? Why can't we be best friends and stay that way forever?

Shaking the snow from my hair, I opened the creaky door to Emily's to a bunch of grinning faces.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" the chorus of voices shouted.

"Thanks," I muttered as Sam pushed a chair towards me. Mountains of food surrounded all of us. Too bad with our group it'd be gone in 10 minutes. Crazy thing? Even though I don't see her, I've been starting to _feel_ when Kelly is around. It's super weird...and also calming. Just knowing she's around...What the hell is wrong with me?

"K old man, you ready for the cake?" Sam goaded.

"Sure you guys don't want the rest first?"

"It'll be gone in 2 minutes," Emily said.

We all chuckled as Rach and Kelly came out with the cake, smiling and beginning to sing 'Happy Birthday'. I groaned only because they all sang off key on purpose.

"Well the cake's great," I chuckled, "Not your singing."

"We could howl," Seth chimed in.

Laughing again, Rachel added, "C'mon and blow out them candles-we want some cake!"

"I helped her make it," Kelly said, "So I second that!"

I smiled then glanced to the candles. I have to make a wish, but for what? The last couple haven't come true. Hell I don't even know if this one will. I glanced across the room. Our eyes met. Her eyes, warm and flickering like the candles….happy. Kelly smiled back at me and suddenly I just knew. Her happiness. That's it. A quick huff and the flames disappeared.

"Now we know who blew down the little piggies houses!" Seth cracked.

We all laughed again, doling out the cake pieces. Kelly came close as I devoured my piece. "How is it?" she asked.

"You need to ask?"

Her cheeks reddened a little as she smiled, looking away for a minute. "You should get some of the rest before it's gone," she said.

"Well if they don't, save some for me."

"You'll eat at my house?"

"Only if Eric and Joe are good with that."

"I think they'll sympathize with the Paul situation."

Seth strolled over to us, "Hey guys, why don't we go outside? It's too nice to be cooped up."

Kelly turned to me, "You wanna?"

"Sure."

"I'll be here," Emily said, "No one else to clean up after you guys."

"Do you want help Em?" Kelly asked, moving over next to her.

"It's fine," she smiled, "I got a wolf who owes me one…"

Sam wrapped an arm around her waist, drawing her in for a kiss.

I opened the door, "And with that, we're outta here."

"Happy Birthday!," I heard again as I led her out.

More snow fluttered to the ground. Kelly smiled, twirling in it. Damn she's beautiful. The way the snow fell on her hair, her twirling like that...STOP. She scooted over and stood next to Seth, Embry, Collin and Brady.

"Where'd everyone else go?" Kelly asked.

"Something about 'it's so romantic'" Brady clutched his chest.

"Basically, they ditched us," Embry laughed.

"Might as well walk too then."

"Okay Embry," Collin joked, "No moves on the birthday boy-man!"

"I'll try not to," Embry replied, hands up.

Brady and Collin went inside once we got close to home leaving just Embry, Seth, Kelly and me. Seth whined about about having too much energy so Embry pounced him on to help. I watch alongside her, both of us placing bets. Watching the two of them wrestle still was amusing. Seth is just this young kid trying to be tough but Embry still can hold his own. I saw her drop her glove out of my peripherals but my eyes went right back to the match at hand. Seth landed a good hit on Embry. "Oh c'mon Embry," I groaned.

"So Jake…"

"Yeah…" I turned to a chestful of freshly packed snow and a grinning Kelly.

"Oh yeah?" She ran but I was still able to pack a snowball and catch her right in the back of the neck. "You had that coming."

She didn't let up. She grabbed another but now Seth and Embry caught on as I saw a couple more fly her way. I stopped dead when I saw Seth's hit her face and bring her to her knees. I raced over, pushing her hair out of her face, "You okay?" I asked only to be met with a snowball up my nose. Oh it's on now...She ran. I ran faster. I grabbed her, pulling her down and rolling her over. "Had enough?" I grinned, laying atop of her.

I knew I shouldn't but I kept leaning closer...wanting needing to be closer…

"Okay," she answered, looking up at me, "You win. I'm not a match for you. I'm no wolf girl."

What? Is she freaking serious? How the hell can she think that?

"Yeah you are," I said, "You've always been one."

Our eyes met and I swear...seeing her like that with her eyes glittering and the snow falling all around us. Everything fell away and suddenly it was just us...-I need to get a grip. Then I did something I know I shouldn't again...I caught a glimpse of her lips-those soft, beautiful and open pink lips and instantaneous I could feel mine on them. And it felt...amazing. The dream-how does it feel so damn real? I've never had a daydream like this...We'd melt the snow in an instant. And I want it-but I can't. Then why the hell _do_ I want it so damn much? And this right here is why being a wolf is such a pain in the -

Embry cleared his throat. I backed up off her, coming back to reality. Phew. That was close. I offered her a hand to help her up.

"Me and Seth are gonna go," Embry said, grinning at me.

Are you freaking kidding me?! Now? "So soon?" I gritted out, shaking my head slightly.

"We're both starving again and my house actually _has_ food. Paul's probably cleared your stash."

Liars. Kelly chuckled, "Seriously? You two ate a half hour ago."

They shrugged, still Embry only grinned at me. I'm gonna kill him. Both of them. They know I need a distraction...need to be away from her not be _alone_ with her...not with the dreams I've been having…

"Werewolves can't help it," Embry said, "You better get inside Kel, your jacket and pants are soaked through."

I gulped. That was _my_ fault. I gritted my teeth. Shit. I laid on top of her. I got lost looking into her eyes then at her mouth...focus. Damn. Damn damn damn.

"You're not wrong. I can already feel it. Guess it serves me right for buying a jacket more for fashion than insulation huh?"

Or for being not being able to have a friend with any shred of self-freaking control. A light hit came to my arm, "Thanks a lot."

I turned back to Seth and Embry, eyes wide, pleading them to stay but they just laughed. Great. Guess I'm on my own. "You started it," I told her.

I took her home. To my house. Like a good friend would do. I went to grab her a shirt and some bottoms while she tossed her stuff in the dryer. This is all my fault. What if she gets sick? Aww man I am so freaking screwed….When I popped back down the stairs, the sight I caught stopped me dead in my tracks. I know my mouth hung open. She only wore a bra and panties, basically a swimsuit but all I could see was skin...beautiful lightly tanned skin...soft to the touch. And I wanted to. I wanted to touch it-kiss it STOP aww hell I am a guy for crying out loud! It's natural to react like this...right? Then it hit...the freaking daydream from hell. I could see my hands trailing up those arms and legs, her giggling the whole time then shivering with small bumps appearing as I trailed further upward…

"Yes I have girl parts," she snorted, "You gonna hand me those clothes?"

I swallowed, as she took them from my hands. I'm going to die. Distraction. I need a distraction. NOW. Then the pants didn't fit. So then she stayed in just my freaking t-shirt. Hair down, slightly messed up and beautiful legs trailing down from my shirt...Movie. Distraction. Right. Die Hard. Action movie...no romance, perfect. Until she curled up next to me. I swear I'm on freaking fire. I'm going up in smoke and she has no idea. This is it. This is how I die. Friends. We're just friends. Damn bloodline. Movie-focus on the movie.

Midway through the movie I paused it so she could check her clothes in the dryer. They aren't dry. Crap. I'm an idiot. I'm crazy. Why the hell would I say that? Of course I can't let her go home in wet clothes in the middle of the night in winter...but stay here? Looking like that and my self-control barely hanging on my a thread...Where...Oh you know, my bed of course! Crap Rachel's coming back tonight. Whatever I can take the floor. She doesn't want to stay here. It's not me though...right? The mess isn't from me, it's from Paul. Why then? Why am I fighting it? I can survive if she goes...No. She'll freeze-No I can't-I won't let her.

I took her hand and lay back on the bed. God I'm an idiot. I patted next to me, "It'll be easier if we sleep...side by side."

"You're kidding?"

I wish. Oh how I freaking wish but no. This is quite possibly the worst idea I've ever had...or the best.

"You tell me all the time how you barely fit and now you want me there too?"

She doesn't want to. Just let her go. NO. Then she bit her damn lip for a second then climbed next to me. Her face sat inches from mine at first. "You really think...we'll get to sleep like this?"

I sure as hell won't. "Doubt it," I said, "But at least you won't freeze."

She rolled over, readjusting. Her back pressed up against my chest and she melded into me like a freaking puzzle piece. I groaned.

"You okay?"

Not a chance in hell. There's no way I can sleep like this. Hell I don't even know how I can not make this awkward. Friends. Just friends. Aww man. I had good enough senses _before_ I was a wolf but now. God help me. How does she feel just right against me? I'm barely holding on to anything resembling self-control. All I want to do is-NO. Stop. Bella. Think of Bella. What if this was her next to me like on the mountain?

I closed my eyes but no matter how hard I tried to picture the brown eyes I love, blue pools and blonde hair filled my head. But it's fine-we're just friends. That's it. I can handle that. Right? Thank God she just wants to be friends. Anything more and I'd-who the hell knows. Tonight I want anything but. Who the hell knows what tomorrow will bring.


	11. Chapter 11: the One Where It All Gets Sc

Chapter 11: The One Where It All Gets Screwed Up

I can't believe I even fell asleep. The last thing I remember is Kelly next to me, fitting like a freaking glove. Her back to me, us spooning...damn. It was almost too much. Hell it **was** too much. I remember mentally begging whoever had the horrible job of looking after me to help me not do anything stupid... I didn't. At least my head says so. My blood on the other hand...When I opened my eyes, I found my arm draped over a pillow instead of her. I blinked a few times, looking around. "Kelly?" I said, sitting up then hopping off the bed, "Where are you?"

As I went out of my room, I found the house empty. Gone. She's just gone. Well damn. She just left? This is good. Separation. No awkward morning where I try to apologize for holding her closer than ever. Time apart. We need that. I need that. Right? A note would've been nice though. I mean...did she just go home? Is she okay? Something could've happened and I have no way of knowing...I sighed.

But no matter what last night kept rolling through my mind like a never ending movie. First, the snowball fight where she grinned at me and laughed. Then seeing her in just my t-shirt looking so incredibly freaking hot... Next, her curling next to me and watching the movie. Finally her in my bed... next to me, almost freaking attached to me….damn. It's all so much, so damn much. When will it end? Oh right, it won't.

I opened the fridge and ate whatever was on the plate I found. I glanced at the clock. Either the pack would find me or I could go find her. I sighed. At least with her I wouldn't get lectured...and I could make sure she's fine. I mean there's no reason she wouldn't be right? But what if something did happen? I better go.

I headed out, making it to that familiar window in no time. I tapped on the glass and she opened it. I hopped inside, "Hey."

"Hey," she replied, sitting back on her bed.

"You mind telling me why you disappeared without a word this morning?" I asked. She didn't say anything right away. "I knew you hated my house."

"That's not it," she chuckled, rolling her eyes, "I just-I didn't want it to be awkward."

It's too late for that. Shit, she feels awkward about it. Damn it. I knew I shouldn't have suggested sleeping like that.

"Besides," she went on, "I figured the pack would call sooner or later and you wouldn't even notice I was gone," she smiled, "You needed sleep anyway and I didn't have a reason to wake you."

Of course. Nothing too crazy she just wanted me to get sleep. Even though for some reason I slept better with her there...

"Leave a note next time-kay?" I said, stepping towards her, "When you woke up and I weren't there...I thought something might've happened to you."

"Sorry," she said biting her lip and glancing to the floor before back at me.

STOP. She has to stop doing that…..

"It's fine," I said. I was about to say something else but then heard the whistle. Damn. "But," I said, "You were right about the guys. I gotta go but uh-see you later?"

"Yeah," she said, lips curled upward.

I grinned back then I popped back out the window. I phased and hit the tree line within moments.

"What's up?"

"There's been some activity north of here."

"Another straggler or group?"

"Not sure."

"We headed that way?"

"Not yet. Just keep good perimeters. Embry, you and Jared take the first one till tonight. Jake and I will take over after ward."

"Got it."

"What about the rest of us?"

"Like I said, we're keeping perimeters, the rest of you focus on keeping the town safe. We'll update you if anything else comes up."

"How far north?"

"Near far little movement. Be ready though. I'll let you know when we move."

Jared and Embry ran off.

"How soon do you want me to be back?"

"We'll take over at sundown."

"Anything through the channels from Forks?"

"Nothing new."

"So Jake…"

I phased back before Embry and Seth could see my thoughts. I know they're dying to know if I caved last night. I didn't. Not yet, anyway. I'm not gonna lie, it was so close. Having her next to me, close was so...soothing. It's just my blood showing me how perfect we are. I sighed and gritted my teeth. I wish it would stop and then I wish it wouldn't. She's freaking amazing but the damn timing couldn't be worse. Why couldn't this have happened _before_ Bella? What would it have been like if I had met her first? I could see it. So much wouldn't have happened and I wouldn't be in this damn situation or having to choose. But never seeing Bella again...no I couldn't think of that. Besides, no point in it. It's not reality. At least being friends is manageable.

I headed back her way. When I got there, just as I was about to knock on her window I saw her. She lay on her bed, head to pillow but not in good way. I saw the tears rolling, staining her face. I just reacted just like when I saw her in the Rabbit. I rushed inside and pulled her into my arms, her face to my chest. I felt the warm wetness against me. She squeezed me and I squeezed her back. I couldn't move. Wouldn't even if I could. I had to make whatever it is go away. It was more than a feeling it was like...my duty. She cried still and I just held her tighter, comforting her as best I could. I don't know what's wrong. All I do know? I will do anything to make her smile again. She should never look like this...tears falling, the pain...she deserves to be happy. As she stopped I lifted her to face me. I gently pushed her hair out of her face and wiped away the last few tears with my thumbs. "You okay?" I asked. Dumb question. Clearly she's not. But why?

She played it off. Typical. Nah-huh. "Hey...we tell each other everything...you can tell me. I know something is eating at you, I can see it," I paused, "I've never seen you like this before...please?"

Kelly looked at me, hesitating for a moment. She filled me in about everything just coming to the forefront. This girl I tell you. She puts everyone: me, Eric, her dad...everyone always comes before her. She stays strong for all of us but never takes one second for herself. She deserves a break. After everything she's been through...She needs to just have someone do everything for her. Not even needs, **deserves** it. Whoa...What can she have to tell me? We basically know everything about each other…..right?

"You know _why_ I came here but did you hear about what happened...before?"

I shook my head. I just knew her parents died. What else is there?

When she told me about her ex-Dan or whatever-the more I felt angry. She barely looked at me...clearly she's not that ready to talk about this. They why is she telling me? I mean, I'm glad. We do tell each other everything. Still I couldn't believe this guy. Who could want anyone else when she's so giving, beautiful, sweet, funny...okay I guess I'm not a great one to judge but the situation is 're not together right now but if we had been...cheating isn't cool. Can't even understand why he would. Kelly is...well freaking perfect. If she was mine...If I didn't have a promise to keep, I would never let her go. Not a chance.

"I'm sorry," I said, "He was an idiot."

She glanced at me, "Thanks, but unfortunately that's not the end."

"What do you mean?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

"Any...any guess to what particular _day_ this could've happened?"

Day...why would that matter….unless… "No…"

As she explained everything that happened next, between the phone call and then finding them at the scene...I ached for her. A few more tears fell again as she spoke and I pulled her in close to me again. "I'm sorry," I whispered, hugging her close to me.

"Worse was telling Eric. I don't know how but I pulled myself together long enough to break the news to him," a couple more droplets fell, "Sorry...I thought I was done."

"It's okay," I said, wiping them from her face, "My mom, she died in a car wreck too. I was only 9 so I don't really remember but...but Rachel does and so does Rebecca, my other sister. Both of them couldn't handle it.. Pretty sure my dad still isn't over it. I think he wishes it was him, not her."

"Sorry," she replied, putting her hand in mine. She paused a second, searching my eyes, "You know...I've never...never told anyone about the phone call. At least not what I said. I guess...I just feel so guilty like I somehow jinxed them."

"Hey," I said, pushing back another strand of hair, "It's not your fault."

I had no idea she had so much more below the surface. So much pain...and she hides it. And here all I want to do is make it disappear.

"It feels like it sometimes," she said then gulped, "Anyway um...there was a point to me telling you this….It's just...you've been hurting, as much as me, since I met you. And now I finally am starting to feel like _me_ again. You're my best friend. The best I could've asked for."

I grinned. "Ditto."

Suddenly her smile disappeared. "I uh...I have to tell you something-you're probably not going to like it…"

The suspense honestly was killing me. "Just say it," I said.

Kelly didn't look at me. She fiddled with her hands as she spoke. "...I'm in love with you…" The minute the words came from her lips my heart stopped. Warmth overtook me, happiness...everything my blood wanted finally coming true and I should be celebrating... but I wasn't. I jumped from the bed and faced away from her. I couldn't look. If I did...there's no telling what I'd say-what I'd _do_. I **did** want this and hearing her apologize over and over….I gritted my teeth. I wanted to turn to her, tell her there was absolutely nothing to apologize for, that we **are** meant to be and always have been and that I-but I won't-can't. She's not the only girl I made a promise to. How the **hell** did this happen? A minute ago we were friends, just friends and now…

I ran my hand through my hair, surprised I didn't yank any out in the process as I did it aggressively. I looked out the window, searching for a solution-an answer for what to do. How can I fix this? How can we still go on like we were...or can we? How can I tell her I can't...without breaking her heart? I felt her come up behind me and gritted my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut when I heard her beg, "Jake...please say something."

I can't. I'm such a jerk. I'm supposed to be the best thing for her...but I'm not. I'm probably the freaking worst. I can't tell her how amazing she is and then tell her I don't see her that way, that I _can't_ see her that way. Or can I? No...Bella...it's all about Bella. She's the one I made a promise to and I have to keep it. And in doing so? I'm about to break my best friend's heart. A few minutes I heard her sigh and say, "I'm sorry."

Kelly. Why- why are you in love with me? You shouldn't be...Oh God she's gonna cry. And this time it's _my_ fault. The one who is supposed to take away her pain. I clenched my fists. Why does this have to be so damn hard? There has to be a way… a way to be back where we were. I mean...didn't I do _everything_ to make sure this **didn't** happen? ...Well that's not true. I toed the line. Yeah right. I crossed it. I know I freaking did and I didn't regret it then and I still don't. Well I didn't, until now. Now she's in love with me and that should be the best news. I should have her in my arms, hugging her, kissing her, telling her everything will be better….but I can't. Not if I still want to keep my promise to Bella. And I do. I still do. Even though my blood is screaming at me, I know I still want Bella.

"Maybe...maybe it'd be good to get some more time...apart."

That might work. Or it'll kill me. I can barely stand how much less I've been seeing her already. Maybe though...if I wasn't around her everyday...or every other day...Oh man. It's gonna kill me. But it's the only option. I finally turned to look at her. My heart broke a little when I saw the stains from her tears, tears I'd caused. I saw the guilt in her eyes and I felt my own, "I'm...I'm sorry I guess I'm still...in shock."

Understatement of the year but whatever. "...but...you're right. I love Bella. I will until her heart stops," She nodded and looked away. I stepped closer. Oh man. Am I really about to do this? "I'm not _mad_ Kel...but maybe...maybe we should be apart for awhile," I paused, gulping, "What we have...being best friends, it's worth holding on to," she nodded and I clenched a fist. What the hell am I doing? "I don't wanna lose it."

You. I don't wanna lose you. But I can't be with you. Not like that. Not now. But I can't lose you. I backed away and tossed a leg over the window. "I'll see you around...kay?"

I hopped out and ran, taking every bit of self-control to not look back. Though I was further way, I could hear her crying again...over me this time. I felt my insides tearing apart. It's all my fault. If I didn't give her the 'look's and keep pushing and pushing the limits...I phased at the treeline. I howled and just kept running. I ran to the treaty line. She's not there, she's still in college. Bella. She's the one I love. The one I live for. The one I'd die for. Right? Or did I just break the one girl's heart who can love me?

I'm such a jerk. I think everyone knows that. If they didn't, they do now.


	12. Chapter 12: Everyone thinks I'm a Jerk

Chapter 12: Everyone thinks I'm a Jerk, Even Me

I'm an ass. She confesses something I'm sure took her awhile to get up the courage to say and I _left_. Ran away. Did I really just freaking do that? God...I mean I saw her hands shaking a little for crying out loud. And what she said about her parents and that phone call...I still can't believe it. At least my mom died when I couldn't remember. But to be cheated on and _then_ have your parents die in the same day? She has more strength than anyone I've ever met.

What the hell is wrong with me? I should go back. Turn around right freaking now. I should be next to her, comforting her, pushing her hair back and telling her I think she's the most beautiful girl in the world. Tell her I imprinted on her and she is my destiny and I'm right here. Tell her that we can be happy and finally we can both never feel any pain ever again. Because she is perfect in _so_ many ways and deserves to be happy.

But like I said, I'm a jerk.

They very thing that makes me extremely freaking happy also screws up all the plans I had in place. Friends. That's what we could be and there would be no problems. That's what we were. Until today. I thought that's all she even wanted. Friends. I could hold down the conflicting freaking emotions I felt for her to focus on helping Bella. _Bella_. Leech already has changed her by now. I can feel it. College is just a cover story. But then again...they would've had to tell Charlie. Unless he didn't even want to do that. Would've heard something though.

Inside my house, I shut my door, dropping onto my bed with a thump. Bella. I close my eyes, willing myself to think of her face but it isn't hers that comes to mind. No...of course not. It's the face of the funny and beautiful blonde with that amazing smile who just confessed that she's in love with me. _Me._ How'd this even happen? I swear I can't think of one thing to make her want me or even come close to seeing me like that. Right? I mean I looked at her like in the damn picture but I swear she never noticed...at least I don't think she did...

God I need to shut off my brain. Normally, I'd just phase and run but I don't want to hear it. I was already stupid enough to do that and immediately changed back. Now they all know what freaking happened. It's all on freaking repeat.

"Jake...dude what are you doing-"

"You've got to be kidding me-"

"Are you serious? How the hell could you do that to her-"

"Eric is going to kill you-"

Like I don't already feel bad enough. I glanced at my phone. I should text her, tell her I'm sorry and I'm an idiot. Hell that's not even enough. I should go back over there, be there with her...kiss her and-no. I can't. I know _exactly_ what will happen when I do tell her... when I kiss her. This fight I've been putting up? I'll _lose_. I can't do that. Not when Bella still needs me. Sure-maybe she'll never leave the bloodsucker. She's so attached it's likely she never will. Fine I accept that. My shot? It's gone. But I can still help her be human. She doesn't have to be one of them. The minute he changes her-I can barely think about it.

Everyone hates me right now, or will once the guys tell them. They can join the club. I hate myself. I hate that I lost Bella. I hate that because I love her so much I just broke the heart of someone I hold close. Someone that is too damn good for me. I'll be lucky if she'll forgive me. Who am I kidding? I doubt she'll even want to be my friend now. And yes-I hate that too.

The worst part? I actually _want_ our future. The one where we can go on as friends. Or maybe...maybe even the rest. Because right now? Right now I have a gaping hole without her because of my damn blood. I hate how it feels and I hate it even more because it's all my fault. I made the damn choice and I wish I could take it back and just see her smile. But I can't. It's over. I guess I'll worry about it tomorrow. For now, Paul isn't in the house. Brain, I need you to shut off and fast. Luckily for me, for once it did it.

The next day I ran the morning perimeter. Seth didn't mind switching with me that much. I slept like crap. Not a big surprise. And no matter how hard I tried I kept thinking of last night...I swear her eyes, full of hurt and rejection, will haunt me for the rest of my life.

"They should."

I turned and saw Embry had caught up to me.

"Don't start."

"You think we're going to be the worst ones?" Quil joined in.

"All of us know who you're going to get it the worst from," Jared added.

"Emily."

"Oh yeah."

"You'll be lucky if you make it out alive."

"Sam won't help either, he'll just watch."

"Shut up, all of you," ordered Sam, "But they're not wrong. You know I let her lead."

"I know."

We all made our way to Emily's. They didn't say any more about me, just joked about other things like Quil and his recent princess party with Claire. Even though the idea of Quil wearing a tiara and sash was hilarious, I couldn't laugh. I don't even think I know how to anymore. The last person I laughed with I hurt and-crap there she is. As we walked inside, Kelly was on her way out. We bumped into each other. She glanced at me quick before her eyes darted to the ground, rushing out the door. Ashamed...she looks freaking ashamed. Does she think I'm mad? Great. Another thing I did wrong. Mad's the last thing I feel right now. I fought the urge to run after her, pushing through the screen door. The guys already started to devour the food but I just leaned against the wall, glancing at Emily. Her normal smile gone as she stood palms down on the counter. Great. It's coming. The guys were right.

"You okay Em?" Seth asked.

She didn't look at me, didn't acknowledge me at all.

"It's not as bad as you think," I muttered, I'd rather just get this over with.

"You're joking right?" she spat, eyes glaring, "You literally have no idea."

"We're just having some time apart," I replied, crossing my arms.

"Oh really?" she said, crossing her own arms, "And that means you can't be around each other at all? So much that she bolted the minute she saw you coming?"

"I didn't force her to leave."

"Didn't you?" Emily shook her head, "I really can't believe you Jake."

"Emily…," Sam began.

"Look," I said, "It's not a great situation…"

"Of course it's not!" she said, "I just can't believe _you_ of all people would pull this."

"Pull what?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Oh please," she groaned. "Jake, wake up!," She clenched her fists, "We all watched Bella string you along being your 'friend' while you fell more and more in love with her each day. And now? you're doing the **exact** same thing-to Kelly," She shook her head again, "If you want to ignore what's best for you, your fate, fine. But don't you **dare** hurt that girl. Not the one who has only _just_ started letting her walls down to the rest of us."

"You know that's not what I meant to happen. We're just _friends_."

"That's what _you_ want to be. She just told you differently!"

"And that means I automatically have to jump at it?" I stopped leaning and approached her, "This is ridiculous. Yes, she's my imprint. But I shouldn't be hers. I'm the biggest mess up there is. She deserves more than me."

"It's not an option Jake! You just don't want to give in because you're still hung up on Bella!"

All the guys slouched in their chairs. Not saying a word. I gritted my teeth.

"Of course I am!" I said, "I'm in love with her!"

"Oh my God Jake! She married the vampire . It's over why can't you just-"

"Get over it?" I gritted out, clenching my fists, "How dare you-"

"Jake-"

"No! No Sam!-None of you, NONE OF YOU realize what it's like to lose someone you love like this-"

"You imprinted!"

"And that changes everything does it?" I spat back, before glancing at Sam. He shook his head. "Tell me Sam, did you stop loving Leah the _second_ you imprinted?"

"Jacob..." Sam growled.

"What the hell are you saying?" Emily said.

"Tell her Sam!"

"Sam?" Emily asked, "What's he talking about?"

Sam gulped and turned to her, "No...I didn't stop loving her right away."

Emily stepped back, turning to Leah, "Did you...did you know?"

Leah shook her head.

"I didn't tell you because...because I knew it wouldn't last. You were it for me," he gulped, "You've always been it for me. And I didn't tell her to spare her more pain."

Emily didn't say another word. The whole room stayed silent.

"Exactly," I said, "So now you know it's not just me. And with that, I'm outta here."

I rushed out the door, letting the screen door slam. I hated fighting with Em. I hate fighting with any of them. I think this is the first time I've seen her raise her voice at any of us. I know she's just protecting Kelly...and she should. I'm certainly not doing a great job. But what about me? Don't they care about me? I mean I am trying here even if it doesn't seem like it. Crazy enough I ended up at our, Kelly's and me, spot on the beach. I stared out the waves. I wish I could just forget Bella but I can't. But if I could it sure as hell would be a lot easier. I don't even know why I can't. Sure, Sam forgot about his love for Leah over time but a lot of that was he just gave in to Emily. Also Leah never wanted to become a vampire. I don't know how to make them understand. I'm trying to save Bella.

"You okay?" I heard a while later. I turned to see Rachel heading my way.

"Fine."

"You want to talk?"

"You gonna rag on me too?

"Not this time," she replied and sighed, "I'll save that for later."

We sat in silence for a few moments before she said, "I thought...I thought when someone imprinted everything else falls away? And all you can see is your imprint? I mean...that's how Paul says it was and Rachel and..well everyone."

"It did happen like that...for the most part," I sighed, "Guess I'm just the freak. I still love Bella and just can't let her go. I didn't even know what it was until I met her," I paused, "But I feel her slipping away."

"Because you did imprint."

"I did," I sighed, "And it's been hard waking up every day wanting to be close to Kelly and just be _with_ her. She's like...my sun. And all I've had is clouds but now they're starting to clear. Since I've been back...she's been everything I've needed," I chuckled, "She's actually how I've started getting over Bella."

"So basically the real problem is that you haven't _fully_ gotten over Bella even though you're crazy about Kelly."

"Something like that."

Rachel leaned against me, "Well you do _need_ to get over her. Just...try not to take too long. Kelly...she's a good girl and she can't sit waiting forever. She's going to eventually have to move on if you don't tell her."

"I know," I said, "Don't think I feel good about being something else for her to cry about. It's killin' me. Finding her like that, crying about everything….I've never felt so ready to give in but I can't."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know," I sighed, "I have no freaking clue."

We walked back home together, not saying too much else. I went into my room and it's like everything just flooded my mind. I could see her face, he standing in my t-shirt, me keeping her warm on my bed...STOP. I grabbed some new shorts. Shower. That'll clear my head. Right?...I turned on the water, not really caring about temperature. No need at this point. Wolf thing. Even though I tried not to, she popped into my mind anyway. I remember seeing her the first time and just _knowing_ she was it. And she should be. Sometimes I really wonder what the hell I'm doing. The fun we've had...well until-Honestly I still can't forget my birthday. I wasn't ready to see that much damn skin. Look-every teenage guy wants to "do it" but I honestly hadn't thought _that_ much about it. I mean sure its there but so much other stuff was going on it didn't register right away. When I saw her like that...I knew I wanted her like that and bad. I wanted to kiss her and give her goosebumps. I wanted to make her feel good. Damn. Maybe I should turn this to a cold shower. Then I thought about the other night. Her face when I left her. Puffy eyes from the sobs, her voice practically cracking when she told me she loved me….

I punched the tile. Over and over again. It crumbled beneath my fist. My fist was bloody for seconds before it healed. I didn't feel any pain, not on my hand anyway. Emily's right. Kelly could barely look at me when she told me. She apologized...she thinks its a bad thing. She actually feels bad because she's _not_ Bella. And she shouldn't. She the best thing in the whole damn world. And I left her there thinking she's not. What the hell am I gonna do? I shut off the water, dried off and went back to my room. I collapsed on my bed. I glanced at my phone, the picture of us. Why the hell does the universe think I'm the one for her? I've kept messing this up day after day. She deserves so much more. But she makes me feel...whole again. She's been able to make me smile, laugh even. I have to do the same for her.

I stared at the ceiling my hands behind my head. I am tired. Exhausted. This time when my brain shut off, it did for good. I finally got some sleep. This time I didn't dream. Thank God for the little things.


	13. Chapter 13: Leeches

Chapter 13: Leeches

The next day after a perimeter sweep, Sam called us all together.

"What's up?"

"New activity."

"With…"

"Not with them."

"Who then?

"Up by Port Angeles. There's been some deaths. Need to make sure they don't trickle down this way.

"What's the plan?"

"Wait 'til nightfall. We'll go in pairs. Collin, Brady you stick around to protect the town."

"Aww man we never get to have any fun."

"All in good time."

"Seems like it's _never_ gonna be that time."

"Stop whining you two."

"Easy for you to say Jared, you always get to go!"

"Enough, all of you. Meet back here at dusk. For now, go home."

Everyone ran off for the most part. Sam stuck by and I knew I had to talk to him. "Sam," I said but he already started phasing back. I did the same.

"Sam," I said again but he kept going, walking forward.

"I'm sorry," I said. He stopped, "I didn't mean to give you problems with Em I just-they just needed to understand. Nobody does and it was just driving me insane to have to try and explain."

Sam turned at me, shook his head then sighed. "I didn't tell her," he paused, "I didn't tell her to spare her pain. Either of them. Haven't they both suffered enough for my careless mistakes?"

"Like I said," I held up my hands, "I'm sorry. It wasn't my secret to tell," I paused, "Why'd you show me then, if you didn't want anyone else to know?"

"To show you that you _would_ forget Bella," he said, walking back toward me without losing eye contact, "To show you that it's not about just picking someone else or having them picked for you. It's finding that someone who completes you in every way. Leah... I loved her very much. I wanted to marry her... but the minute I saw Emily...I knew. Just like you knew with Kelly. Emily is my everything and always will be. I hope one day you will finally see how much Kelly really means to you."

"I already do."

Sam shook his head, "No. You have no idea. There will be a time you will come close to losing her. Then, that's when you'll know how much you need her, not what you think is meant to be with Bella."

"You've seen my thoughts, I've given up that. I just want to help her."

"You can't save everyone Jacob, especially someone who doesn't want it, " Sam said, "I hope soon you can focus on what really matters."

I was about to respond but he walked away without another word.

That night, Sam didn't say much to me. None of them did really. We focused on hunting. We didn't find any bloodsuckers. They'd run clear up to Canada, not bothering to stick around. All we caught were scents. More than one but no clue if they were one big group or individuals. Days passed like this. Hunting at night, maybe some sleep during the day but not much more than that. I missed her. Hunting kept me semi-distracted but Sam's words kept echoing in my brain. Not only just his. Emily's too. I didn't want to hurt Kelly. In fact, I kept creeping to her window regardless but I guess she's been working more. It ate at me not to find her in her room, waiting for me like she used to...Why would she? After what I did...I wonder if she misses me as much as I miss her. I know I shouldn't but hell maybe I should wonder. She does mean a lot to me. Maybe Emily's right. Maybe I am pulling a Bella. And if I am...God I'm an idiot. That was no picnic and if I'm putting her through that…

I have to get away, to think. I can't go to First Beach cuz when I'm there, all I do is have the memories flood back of each time I was there walking and talking with her. Then where? Well there is one spot I could technically go now...and so I did. I sat at the border. I could cross it, Bella wasn't there. She's back at school but even so I never really wanted to go into that house even when she was. Different types of memories came back this time. I could see her, brown hair, brown eyes...she was beautiful and she never wanted me to tell her so. How can she not see it? The pack, helping the Cullens...it all still seems so damn surreal. How can they want her to be one of them if they're so...so…

"Jacob?"

I turned to see an the older vampire approaching me. I had smelled him but I figured that was just cuz I knew they were in the house.

"Carlisle...right?"

"Yes," He smiled, "Have you been sitting here long?"

I shrugged, "Little bit. Thinking. You?"

"I uh-," he smiled and shrugged, "I smelled a deer not too far off. Was going to have dinner."

I chuckled half-heartedly. "Sorry to interrupt."

"You know...Bella isn't here...yes?"

I nodded, "Just came here to think."

"Ah," the older vampire smiled, "I sense some conflict in you. Are you alright?"

"I'll be fine," I said. How the hell could he tell? Am I wearing a sign on my forehead that says 'conflicted werewolf' or something?

He chuckled again, "I realize you're not exactly fond of the rest of us. You tolerate us because of Bella. But I do hope I can extend my gratitude for what you and your pack have done."

"No big deal. It's our job."

"Right, right," he said, "Still we are forever grateful. You, especially had a big hand in convincing the pack to come to our aide and of course we know that is in large part to how you feel for Bella."

I didn't say anything.

"I hope I do not come off to forward, I simply see you are struggling with something and wish to offer my help, some advice," he said, "You may choose to accept it and use it or ignore it entirely but I feel I must at least try. Part of the need to help people."

I glanced at him. Advice? How can he help me? You got a magic potion with you doc? Otherwise I don't think you can help me.

"I wager you have a decision you must make and it deals with Bella and another," he said, glancing at me, "Now now, don't look at me like that. I can't read thoughts as Edward does, just facial expressions. You look like you're torn between two people. I have seen that look before..."

I swallowed. Holy crap. Is going to go full on Dr. Phil here?

"Perhaps," he said, "Instead of searching so hard for a solution, you should simply stop and let it come to you. Sometimes the hardest solutions are the easiest to find as they have been in front of us all along," he smiled, "As I said, do with it what you will. We do care you Jacob and sincerely wish you well."

And he was gone. Even if I did want his advice I have no idea what to do with that. What solution could be in front of my face? Other than letting go there wasn't one. Again more days passed, same routine. All these words sticking in my head and I honestly can't take any more. I glanced at the picture on my phone, the one of Kelly when she called. The gaping hole...God it came back in full force. How the hell can I do this? What if she really does fall out of love with me….is that something I actually want her to do? I mean...I'm not acting on it so maybe it's not so big a deal...God I miss her. I just want to see her. Maybe...maybe I can. I don't have to get close, I could just wait from far away...great now I'm a freaking stalker. But I need to. Being apart, I'm dying on the inside. We're not meant to be apart. If I just see her from a distance it won't hurt so bad and then I can focus again. Yeah. Good idea.

I walked up First Beach. She should be leaving soon and I can get a glimpse of her. Those golden waves in the breeze. I watched the resort as I slowly walked forward. I stopped when the golden speck appeared. I smiled until I saw she wasn't alone. Some guy was there, getting closer to her. Not just a guy, a _leech_. My protective instinct kicked on within seconds but the second I meant to pounce she had already gotten away from it. We made eye contact, _bloodsucker_ even grinned. Why is it talking to her? What the hell is going on. Once it left her alone, I hid back in the trees, hoping she didn't see me. Didn't want her to think I was going back on our arrangement. I made sure she made it home okay though. Not going to risk that _thing_ following her. The minute she laid on her bed, I made a beeline for the trees.

"They're here!"

"Whoa-"

"Slow down-"

"Who?"

"The leeches we've been tracking...one of them for sure is here. I've seen it with my own eyes."

"Yeah they come and go. They never stay though. It's like they're looking for something."

"I know what they're looking for."

"What?"

"Kelly. One of them was talking to her. Cornering her."

"Thought you two weren't seeing each other?"

"Not now Embry...I was just at the beach. They were further down."

"You're positive?"

"Do I look unsure?"

"Why do you think they're after her?"

"I mean-you only saw one."

"The way it looked at her-it was more than dinner. He got close-too damn close."

"Why would it care about a human?"

"Did she get bit?"

"No-it let her go. I followed her home to make sure."

"Stalker much Jake."

"I was protecting her."

"Mhmm, whatever you say."

"Doesn't sound like a normal leech to me."

"Well, it makes sense though. Sounds like that guy she was complaining about at work."

"Whoa-what? What guy?"

"Calm down Jake."

"CALM DOWN? You're telling me some guys has been-"

"We didn't tell you because it was harmless-"

"She just was getting hit on-"

"She only told Emily and Rachel-"

"And no one thought to tell me?"

"At the time, it wasn't a big deal."

"You were keeping your distance remember?"

"We'll protect her Jake."

"You know we'd never let anything happen to someone's imprint."

"How long has this been going on?"

"The past week."

"A WEEK!"

"Calm down Jacob-"

I phased back. I can't believe this. It can't be happening. No way. No way in hell. First Bella with the freaking Cullen and now Kelly...What the hell is the blood suckers fascination with the women I fall in love with? Whoa...wait. What...I. Holy crap. I'm such an idiot. Here I tell Bella you can love two people at the same time and it only just hit me how true it is. I love her. As a friend, sure I've know that for awhile. Is there more though? Is that why I'm so ready to tear this damn bloodsucker to pieces? I mean I did feel this overwhelming need to keep her safe but is that just my blood? And the fury for the pack not doing anything...But I can't be...it's impossible. It's just my blood right? I, me, Jacob Black haven't fallen in love with her on my own...have I?


	14. Chapter 14: The One Where I Need Her Bac

Chapter 14: The One Where I Need Her Back

I need her. Now. The prospect of that _thing_ even coming close to her...NEVER. No way in hell that bloodsucker will ever come close to her-touch her. I will do whatever it freaking takes. I won't hesitate like the rest of the,. She's safe-with me. It's my job anyway. Guess it's time to stop avoiding this and deal. I have to protect her at all costs.

I went to her window. Locked. But I saw her there on her bed, a book in hand. I was about to knock when I heard one come from her door.

"Not hungry," she said, eyes continuing to focus on the book.

The door opened and I saw Eric walk in.

"C'mon, Kel, Dad's getting worried about you."

She glanced over at him for a moment before looking down again. "Nothing for him to worry over."

"Look," Eric said, sitting on the edge of the bed, "I know you're hurting…."

"Please," she glanced over then away, clenching her fists, "Don't. I can't. I can't do it."

"He's not doing so well himself you know."

"He's the one who jumped on it," She set the book down, "Please, I just-I can't. Not with Drake and all this...I just can't okay? I just want to clear my head of everything. If I don't...If I don't I'm just going to keep wallowing in self-pity. I just need some time alone...please?"

Eric nodded. "Fine," he sighed, standing, "It won't last forever. We all know he feels something for you."

"Yeah," she scoffed, "Disgust."

"Kelly-"

"Look, I know you're just trying to help...but…," She sighed, "But Jake doesn't want me like that and he _never_ will. The sooner I accept that the sooner I can...I don't know-move on? But I'm not there yet and I can't get there if everyone keeps getting all up in my face and stuff."

"Okay," Eric said, "I'll cut it out. I just worry about you."

Kelly sighed, glancing at him, "For now...just worry less okay? I'm gonna go to bed."

Eric nodded and left the room. She made sure the door was shut before she collapsed on her bed again. She stared off for a moment before chucking the book across the room. She buried her head in her hands and I watched her chest heave. Oh man. Even the thought of me makes her cry. I felt the wrenching in my own chest: guilt, shame...all of it. What did I do? Can I even...fix it? I messed up. I messed up big time.

I went home. She's safe...from the leech. For now anyway. But what about me? Shit. Did I do damage that I can't fix again? How the hell did this happen? O h right...I'm an idiot. This whole thing is just going to crap and it's all because of me. Maybe I shouldn't see her...yet. I decided to stick it out a couple more days. We scared away the leeches and kept them away at least. But immediately my thoughts always rush to her. I'm worried about her. I need to know she's okay. That she feels safe and isn't afraid. Let's be honest. It's more than that. It's me. I can't do it anymore. I can't be away from her. I _need_ her. I went back to her window. Locked still. Is she worried about the leech...or me? I swallowed. I don't know if I'm ready for the answer. This time, I walked around to the front door and knocked. Joe opened the door.

"Oh," I said, "Hi Mr.-"

"Jacob," he said, cutting me off.

Well that's not a good sign.

"I uh...is Kelly...here?"

"She is," he replied, not moving.

Oh man. I'm in trouble. He's looking at me like he's about to grab the shotgun...I gulped.

"Can I...can I see her?" I swallowed again.

"Depends," he said, never breaking his fixed gaze on me, "Look, we all make mistakes Jacob...but that girl in there….that's _my_ little girl. I've only just got her back. And I know I'm not a picture perfect father but I am tryin' my best."

I swallowed again. He stared at me then went on, "Now she works all the time and then comes home, barely eats and I've heard her cry more than once these past two weeks. I want you to be _sure_ if I let you in this door that she's not just someone you're going to up and leave. She deserves more than that."

"I won't," I said, "I swear she...she makes me happy and I hope...I hope I do the same for her."

"You do," he said, "Every time you stay, she's happy."

I held in a breath. Crap," You-You know about that?"

"I wasn't born yesterday Jake," he smiled, "I allow it _because_ she's happy. That's all that matters to me: her happiness. I can only hope you feel the same."

"I do."

"Then go and make her happy again."

The second Joe stepped out of the way, I hustled in. I went to her door, feeling my hands shake the whole damn time. Her door in front of me...shit. What if she doesn't want to see me? What if she slams the door in my face? Can't say I don't deserve it. I do. I definitely do. I'd rather see her pissed off than sad. If I see her cry one more time I'm gonna-stop. Focus on the task at hand. I clenched my fists for a brief second then knocked.

"Still not hungry Dad, but thanks." I heard.

I kept knocking. I heard some shuffling in the room.

"I swear I'll be fine I just would rather not talk right now-."

Kelly's eyes widened as she opened the door. I met her gaze and she stepped back. God it was so good to see her. Her hair was slightly disheveled and I saw the faintest traces of bags under her eyes. I gulped. Those were my fault. I stepped forward and she stepped aside to let me in. She shut the door and we both sat on her bed. I sat on the edge, glancing at her. What the hell do I say? Think. Have to think of something. Anything. Well anything that's not going to piss her off. Or make her cry. I glanced to the window. "Sorry," I muttered, "I uh...I would've come through the window but it's kinda shut off...and I didn't know if you even wanted to see me.

She smiled slightly, "I always want to see you Jake. We're friends."

Friends. That word again. The word I thought we were. Are we? Are we really _just_ friends? She loves me and I...I don't even know what this is I'm feeling. Imprinting and all that comes with it or...I don't even know. Could it be love..I'm such an idiot. I have no idea what I'm doing.

She swallowed as our eyes met. Biting her lip she said, "Look, uh , I'm glad you're here but um," she paused, "I'm not...ready. Not yet. I still need some time," she paused again, "I uh-still feel-"

"I know," I said, kneeling on the floor in front of her. I took her hands in mine, looking back into those baby blues I'd been missing. No. She's not going to feel bad. Not anymore. "This has been _the_ hardest two weeks of my life. I know it's not enough time for you to…" She glanced away from me but I squeezed her hands, "You know but I _can't_ do this. I can't **not** see you," I paused until she looked at me again, "I'm sorry about how I acted. I was a little…"I raised a brow, "dramatic. We're best friends. That's all I ...want but...I should've been better about it. I can't abandon you like that, " I paused, squeezing her hands again, "You deserve more than that."

Kelly shook her head, "Don't. You were honest with me and that's all I wanted. I know you can't feel the same way…"

The hell I can't. I'm starting to. She looked at the floor and I felt the feeling again in my chest. The wrenching guilt that keeps eating at me. It's not that I can't I just-but I can. And my blood wants me to. I could just kiss her now and she'd smile again...but I can't...not now. Not...yet.

"I've missed you," she said, looking back at me, "A lot. I've never been so close to someone that when they're not around...it actually _physically_ hurts."

God I felt it too and so did she. That strong freaking pull like we're two magnets and we have to be together no matter what. Is it all the imprinting or is there something else? I swear it can't be just that...I stood up and pulled her into my arms. "Me too," I said, "I still want to be...friends," I looked down at her, taking in those two blue pools staring back at me, "As for the rest I'll just...deal. As long as you can deal with me."

"Agreed."

I didn't let go and neither did she for a few moments. It felt so right just to have her there, in my arms. This was my chance...why didn't I just tell her? I could get it over with and there wouldn't be anything left. She'd be happy...at least I think she would be...right? She does love me after all...But I can't. I'm still not sure. I really have no freaking idea how I really feel. How the hell do you know for sure? I mean… my blood knows but how do _I_ know? Me? I mean I was so sure with Bella but now I don't even know about that. Do I even know what love is?

We sat back on her bed and I said, "I heard about... that guy. Are you okay?"

Leech. Always after a girl I'm into. What the hell is up with that?

"Better now that you're here," she smiled.

That damn smile. God I've missed her. Every cloud and storm in my head disappeared and let her sunshine shine right in and warm my soul. I felt right at home with her across from me. We talked. And talked. All night practically. Nothing really in particular just talking about everything that's been going on. She told me about work and I told her about pack stuff...normal. When I finally did leave, well, I know I will never ever be separated from her again. I couldn't survive it. We both need each other...maybe more than either of us thought. Hell I need her more than I ever thought. She really is something I can't be without. And I will keep her safe no matter what. But what in the hell does that damn leech want with her?


	15. Chapter 15: The time She Gave Me A Heart

Chapter 15: That Time She Gave Me a Heart Attack

Normal. Normal again. Well normal for us anyway. I stayed. I know I shouldn't but I just couldn't stay _away_ from her. Not just because I had this intense desire to be near her. No. I can't stay away when that leech is after her. Even she doesn't know why he can't leave her alone. If it's this damn attached she's _more_ than a meal. But what the hell does he want with her. Drake. Some random leech with a few cronies. Suddenly he wants her, is _obsessed_ with her. I'll be damned if it comes any closer. And even though I swear that hole just up and disappeared, the one I'd felt since we've been apart, I really didn't want to make it _more_ awkward. But I guess I can't help it. I mean a few nights later, we're there, watching movies like we've done hundreds of times it feels like and I look over and her eyes are shut. I sit there and think...God she's so beautiful. How have I not seen it? Like _really_ seen it? With her hair fallen just like that...I gently covered her with a blanket and tried to be quiet as I headed to the window.

"Don't go," I heard. When I turned those eyes were fixed on me, "I'll be fine. I swear."

"You'll be out in seconds," I smiled and chuckled.

I almost touched the window pane until she begged, "Stay….please?"

And just like that she pulled me back. Not like I was really going to fight her on it. Not when I didn't want to be apart from her. How can I say no? Especially when those eyes meet mine like that. So I just smiled and got right back next to her where I had been. Where I want to be, let's be honest. And just like I predicted, she was out in moments. I watched her sleep, not in a creepy way. More of a holy-crap-I'm-in-love-with-her way. But again, I don't even know _what_ love is. I'm good at the pain part. Definitely know that comes with it. But I still can't tell if I look at her this way because my blood has finally won over...or if it's me. I'm in trouble. If I...no. I can't wreck this. I only just got her back. I shouldn't even be holding her next to me like this. Keeping her to my side...Why can't I leave? My head hurts. So does my body. Except being next to her it's like I've never felt better. I can't feel any pain when she's next to me. It's like it just magically melts away.

I can't believe I fell asleep, I didn't even realize I was dozing off. I felt her fingers push aside some hair from my face. God her touch was so soft and gentle...I loved it. It felt...amazing. I opened my eyes but she'd already rolled back over and went back to sleep. I gently moved away, just to the edge of the bed. This is going to send all the wrong signals...or the right ones. Dammit. C'mon God, can't you give me a heads up here? Do I love her? Something anything….sincerely yours, Jacob Black.

Kelly shifted. I turned to face her, smiling when I saw the one at me. "Hey," I said, "How'd you sleep?"

"Good for once," she said, gently touching her dreamcatcher, "It hasn't always worked lately...not since…."

I swallowed, glancing away a minute. Yeah. Since I broke your heart in two. How the hell can I make it right?

"Anyway," she said, "Thanks for staying and keeping me warm. I can't stop being cold lately….I hope this didn't make things ...you know... _more_ awkward between us."

"It didn't," I answered. Did it? No. God I hope not. Because I honestly don't know how to make myself stop.

"I didn't wanna give you the wrong idea either," I said. Or did I? I'm still not absolutely sure myself, "but I couldn't just _go._ "

"I know what you mean."

Of course you do. You love me. And I...God maybe I am in love with her. Cuz I feel it too. I can't be without her. Isn't that what it is? Or is that just crazy super dependent and toxic behavior. I sighed inwardly.

"So tell me the truth...how's my hair?" She asked.

Perfect. Gorgeous. Amazing…Until I give it a quick run through of my hand, "Worse now."

We laughed. She was still stunning with hair in every direction and the grin peeking out from under it. She hopped of the bed and grabbed the brush, fixing it. I couldn't stop watching. I was mesmerized. Each time she went through her hair, her sweet little smile as the brush reached the ends...We smiled at each other in the mirror. It's this...moments like this where I feel like...maybe it's not as hard as I think it is. Maybe I should just go ahead and say it. I'm in love with her. But still I'm not sure...Oh God I might have to ask for advice...but from who? Have the pack would make fun of me...normally I'd ask her but I don't think that's gonna work in this case.

The next day she had to work. Me? Nothing. Well the pack and I searched for Drake and the cronies Kelly said were with him. Nothing new. They're gone and so there again I'm alone and all I do is think. And think some more. And where should I go if that's all I'm gonna do? Our thinking spot on First beach. Then after I'm done...or she's done...well either way we'd find each other. We do that pretty damn well.

Everyone...they're all so damn sure. And I've seen it...who couldn't? They showed me in that damn picture and even now it's not uncommon. Sam and Emily, Jared and Kim, Quil and Claire, Eric and Leah….now me and Kelly. It's all so easy for them though. They just gave in. Even Leah. All the pain we lived with her over Sam just...poof. Gone with imprinting. But I still got someone else with a damn hold on me. Or does she? Is it Bella standing in the way of being happy? Or is it just me? Before Kelly, I can't even remember being happy. Like _truly_ happy. With her? Damn it's like every damn day. And it could be like that. All the time. Every day. I don't know if I could handle it. Could it?

But I made a promise. Bella. Does she even care? She's the one who _wants_ to be a -but I promised. Can I really go back on that?

Suddenly I caught a scent. It's back. I jumped up, looking around. Kelly stood a ways down and I saw a female bloodsucker by her. My heart stopped. It's too close to her. Way. Too. Freaking. Close. I phased immediately.

"GET DOWN HERE NOW. KELLY'S IN TROUBLE. THERE ARE PROBABLY MORE!"

I didn't waste any more time. I made a beeline for her. I watched as she dumped something on it then lit it up with a match. I tore into the leech followed by Embry and Quil. I didn't care. Immediately I let them finish the female thing off, heading directly to her. Too damn close...that leech could've-I couldn't even think about it. As soon as I phased back she was in my arms and I squeezed her, hopefully not too hard. Too damn close. I didn't even want to think of what could've happened if one more second had passed...

"Can't. Breathe."

I released her, slightly. "Why...why didn't you run?" I asked, squeezing her again, gulping, "She could've killed you!"

My heart raced. She's safe. She's in my arms. It's over….over. For now. There are others out there. Drake. He still wants her. Wants to hurt her. So it's only over...for now.

"If I can't outrun you, what makes you think I can outrun them?"

I sighed, "Fair point."

She's right. If she ran...but if she had I could've got the leech sooner I-

"Exactly."

"You okay?" I asked, frantically checking her for even the smallest scratch. Nothing that I saw. If that leech harmed one damn hair on her head...

"Fine."

How is she so damn nonchalant about this?

"What did she say to you?"

"That Drake still wants me. He's chosen me or something. Whatever that means."

"Why does he...want...you?

"Beats me."

No. My heart stopped. Not again. To hell if I'm doing this again. He wants to turn her. He wants a damn partner. That's the only damn explanation why'd he'd keep coming back, why is obsession is so damn strong. I clenched my fists. NEVER.

"It's getting late," she said, "I should probably get some sleep."

How can she be so damn calm? If I hadn't been there-what that thing would've-could've done to her...I couldn't speak on the way back to her house. Here she's being so freaking calm and I'm freaking the hell out. I can't help it. I almost lost her. For good. Two weeks nearly _killed_ me being without her but forever…I can't even think.

"Thank you. Tell the guys thanks too."

"It's our job," I muttered.

"I know," she said then paused. I met her eyes...seeing that damn lip bite. She always did it when she was nervous...or about to say something I wasn't gonna like. "I uh...I want to tell you something," she said, "Something I've been thinking about."

I raised a brow.

"So I've been thinking lately that um," She looked at the ground, sneaking a glance back up at me, "I've been thinking of going to college. I'm probably gonna do my generals online so I can stick close to Joe for awhile yet and save some money but um-after I think…," She paused again, glancing at the dirt again, "I think I'm going to go somewhere else."

I felt a lump in my throat, "You're gonna….you're gonna leave?"

"Not forever," she said, "Just to, you know, get away. I've wanted to for a long time, probably do Washington State like Rach or Seattle."

The air left my lungs. I couldn't move. This can't be happening. No. NO. She can't. Why...why leave? Why now?

"Don't take it the wrong way Jake," she said, "La Push is my home and I'll come back but...I need to do this. For me, you know? Not only cuz I want to do something with my life but because" she paused, "because I need to...move on."

I felt like she stabbed me in the gut. Move on. Rachel's words came back. 'She'll eventually move on…' Rachel was right. She's not gonna wait...why should she? Not like I ever said anything to give her a reason to-

"You're never gonna feel the same for me and...and I'm not going to follow you around hoping you will," she said, "I'm gonna go and maybe...maybe the best way to move on is….to fall in love again," she paused, "with someone else."

I gulped. 'With someone _else_ ' As in not me. She's going to leave. Find another guy. Another guy is going to laugh with her. Smile with her. Watch movies with her. Kiss her…someone thats NOT me.

"What about Drake?" I asked, trying to keep some semblance of composure, "You don't think he'll follow you?"

"Well...I'm gonna be here awhile yet and you guys will take him down so I'm not worried, no."

Problem solved, for her. Everything's working out. For her. She's just going to pack her bags and find a bigger and better future.

And I'm not part of it.

My stomach dropped.

"Well…"she said, "I'll let you get back to them. Thanks again. We'll talk about this later I just thought I'd let you know...cuz I was thinking about it. Night Jake."

"Night," I uttered.

That's all it was. Just another night. But it's the night she's decided I'm no longer an option. And me? It's the one I just realized she's been my only one...and I'm about to lose her.


	16. Chapter 16: I Confess--About Bella

Chapter 16: I Confess-About Bella

After she disappeared through her window, I stood there like an idiot. Leaving. She's freaking leaving me. She wants to move on. And here I am stuck. In my head, I kept flashing back to the damn beach. Even _thinking_ that taking on a leech was a good idea. Doesn't she know how dangerous-what that leech could've done-She just put her life in danger and-She is right. She couldn't outrun them but hell she could've tried! If I hadn't been there-

I phased. I can always think better on four legs. No way in hell I could sleep now. Not with my mind a mess like this. It's like one thing after the other!

"Whoa...Jake… you okay?"

"Not now Seth."

"Kinda sounds like the time."

"Don't start Embry."

"Wake up and smell the roses pal, you're in love with her."

"Shove it Jared."

"Enough. Leave Jacob alone."

"Thanks fearless leader."

"It was handled Jacob, Kelly's safe."

"Barely-thing had her in its grasp…"

"We know. We'll keep her safe."

"How did she even get down there-the leech?"

"Came from the water, would've smelled it sooner otherwise. No other explanation. We need more preimeters, more patrols, I can guard her house-"

"Calm down Jake-"

"Sam still calls the shots-"

"This is a problem Sam. I know you can see that."

"I know Jacob. We're handling it. For now, keep her close. Embry and Quil will take the first perimeter then Jared and I. Seth and Paul, take Collin and Brady to the water and see if you can track the scent."

"That's it?"

"Yes."

"And what if-"

"Jake, bud, we got this. Like always."

"Besides...if she's just a friend what are you getting so worked up over?"

I growled "Shut up."

I phased back. God it's up to me to protect her. Always me. Only this time I could hear Sam's words echoing back in my head. '...when you come close to losing her…'I _did_ almost lose her. Hell I _am_ losing her. Not even to the damn bloodsucker. She wants to leave and better herself. And she should. She should have a life. A great one. One where vampires didn't try to-but the thought of her not being around? That empty hole just rushed on back. The two weeks without her and I could barely get by and now she's thinking of going for good….No. She can't. I can't survive.

The whole time at Emily's I watched her. She laughed, smiled….carefree. Like nothing could ever touch her. But when we were apart-God we were both miserable. How is that not gonna happen again? Did she...did she stop loving me? Is that why she's not worried? I gulped. OR maybe...maybe she wants to do that again but with someone else-someone _better-_

"What's on your mind?" She asked as we started to walk.

"You."

"What about me?" she asked, "What happened yesterday?

What else? Like I can think about anything other than-You leaving and going off to college. You leaving me entirely. You on the beach yesterday. You thinking it's alright to take on vampires like-like-

"I thought we already went over it?" She asked, raising a brow.

"We did," I said, meeting her gaze, "But..it just...it reminded me of _her_ in a way...Bella."

Kelly looked away. She didn't say a word. Probably didn't want to ask knowing how I felt on the subject.

"How?" she asked softly.

"It' not an _exact_ thing," I said, looking away for a sec. I fiddled my hands, "You don't put yourself in danger on purpose like her, " I sighed, "But you don't run from it either.

She paused for a second before slowly looking back at me. "What's the deal with her anyway?" she said, "I know it's...hard and I won't push but...I feel like I'll never understand if you don't tell me anything."

"You're right," I said, my lips curling up for a sec.

She is. She deserves to know. Why have I even bothered keeping it in? If there's one person to make me feel better about it, it'd be here. I can tell her anything. So I did. We kept walking and I told her how I'd always liked Bella when we were much younger, mud pies and all.

"When she came back for high school it was like...finally. I had my shot you know? But she always just saw me as a friend. When it- _he_ came into her life she was just...different. She stopped being...her," I paused. The memories just flooded back. I saw her ditching me more and spending all her time with that-I gulped then went on, "When he left, even though I could've killed him for the hurt he put her through, I picked up the pieces. We hung out and she started to smile again. And I...I fell for her. So...hard. She handled me as a wolf and accepted everything about me. But...apparently she wasn't as happy with me. I would've given anything...but she still picked him."

I sighed. I would've too. Even now though...it doesn't hurt as much as it used to. What the hell is that about. Is is because...well I'll be damned.

"I loved her so much and begged her-literally begged-her to change her mind. Hell we helped them fight off another leech who wanted to kill her but no matter what I was never the one she wanted more, it was always him."

I glanced back at Kelly as I went on, "When I got the wedding invite I just-lost it. I know she didn't send that. He did. Just to rub it in my face. So I left. I needed to get away. Anywhere that wasn't _here_. I phased and just ran."

"That's what you did for all those months?"

"Yeah," I answered, "I came back for the wedding just to see her one last time. We had a minute where is was just _us_ again and it was...then she told me he wasn't even going to change her right away, that they were gonna…"

I clenched my fists. The anger rushed back but Kelly's gently rubbing on my shoulder made it disappear. I couldn't look at her. The pain I still felt, even though it was smaller still hurt like hell. Then she squeezed my hand and it melted away. How the hell can she do that? One touch and it's just...gone. She's like a damn magician. My healer...my sun.

"I'm so sorry Jake," she said, "No wonder you acted so strange when we met. I had no idea she put you through... _this_ ," she paused, "If I'd known, I wouldn't have forced you to talk to me that night and left you alone."

"I'm glad you didn't," I said, squeezing her hand as our eyes met again, "I was gonna leave again that night, was about to when I saw you wandering the tree-line. I wasn't going to do anything but I didn't know you and for a second I thought you might be one of their _guests_ not on their...diet."

"So you were surprised when I wasn't?" She said, lips curling upward, "Guess that explains your face. You looked like you saw a ghost or something when you looked at me."

Oh no. Not a ghost. I saw a future. A future that I didn't think I had. A future I didn't think was possible for me anymore. Happiness. Love. That moment came right back. The second I imprinted. She whipped around and everything stopped. Time didn't matter. Nothing mattered but what stood there in front of me. I couldn't take my eyes off her. Even now, same blonde locks, blue eyes and gentle smile...How could anyone not be in love with her? How can I even question it?

"We barely said anything that night," I mused, "but you still wanted to be my friend."

And suddenly I wanted to be your everything. All day, every day, for the rest of my damn life. Needing it like I need air.

"I needed one," I went on, "So I figured I'd give the newlyweds a days head start. But then getting to know you, realizing how much we had in common," I laughed, "You're the best distraction I could've asked for."

"Good or bad?"

Like that's even a damn question.

"Good," I smiled, "Definitely good. You're my best friend."

Her cheeks started to redden a little and she looked away shyly.

"I thought...I thought she was for the longest time but," I said, musing aloud, "she just used me...to feel better about herself. I'm glad I know what it means to have a _real_ best friend."

Her cheeks got redder. "That's the...nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."

And it's true. All of it. I can't believe it never hit me before now. Bella-to Bella I was just someone she called when she needed to feel better. She didn't care about how I was feeling. She said she did but-no. She only cared about herself really. With Kelly, I _want_ her to feel better….and the best part is, it's reciprocal. She wants me to feel it _too_. We find a way to make each other happy, even if we're mad or anything really. No matter what we always come back and end up twice as strong. We're just committed to making each other smile, I swear.

I'm in love with her. This has to be love. How could I even second guess it? It's so damn obvious. I looked at her and I felt like I imprinted all over again. I saw her more clearly now than ever. The blue pools I got lost in looked exactly like the waves we watched on First beach. Her golden locks were as bright as the damn sun...cuz she was my sun. That smile, the one that always creeps up when we joke about something...oh man. This is it. She _is_ my everything. I will be anything she wants me to be. Anything.

Again she blushed, glancing away from me.

"C'mon," I said, "I'm sure your dad's starved by now and we've gone around the long way."

"He can handle the leftovers," she laughed, "There's enough lasagna to feed an army."

"But not a wolf pack."

We laughed again. As we kept walking, I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. Everything seemed so different now...When she looked at me I felt...different. Happy. God I didn't think I could feel that anymore. Or ever again to be quite honest. I held her hand. It felt right. Our palms together and fingers interwined. God I wanna take her on a date. Anywhere she wants. Or if she doesn't wanna go out...I'll even cook, if she wants me too. I'm pretty sure I suck at it but I'll try. For her...I'll do anything she wants. I can't even stop myself. I want tonight to last forever.

"Uh...Jake?"

Suddenly the scent hit me like a brick wall. I dropped her hand instantaneously as I pushed her against the side of the house, protecting her with my body, "Don't move."

She nodded as I quick scouted around the house with my eyes. Nothing. Nada. But _he_ was here. Not only could I smell it, I could _feel_ it. I glanced back at her. She just looked up at me, no worry, nothing. Calm. "Stay here for a sec, kay?"

After her nod I sprinted off. I smelled it. Can't say it for sure was him but I swear if he even comes close-

"A leech has been here."

"Inside?" she asked, gulping.

"No," I said, taking her hand, "Just out here where we're standing."

Kelly leaned back against the house and closed her eyes, "Drake."

"Maybe, or maybe another one. I should let the pack know."

"Okay," she replied, eyes still shut.

"Hey," I said, taking her other hand in mine, "It's gonna be okay."

"I know," she said, eyes fluttering open and meeting mine, "I just...I don't want anything to happen to Dad. I can't...I can't lose him."

I squeezed her hands, "Let me tell the guys and I'll...I'll stay here."

"You're gonna guard me? Really?"

I rolled my eyes, "Enough whining. I'll be right back."

I phased after she climbed in her window.

"They've been here."

"Where?"

"At Kelly's. Scent is strong outside her window….we need more perimeters...something. I'll stay with her, keep watch."

"We're on it. Embry and I can take the first sweep."

"Seth, Paul, anything from down by the water?"

"Nothing. Was just that one female."

"Let me know...if anything turns up. I'll guard her tonight."

"Oh and Jake?"

"Yeah Paul?"

"This is from all of us...BOUT DAMN TIME."

"Shut up."

When I popped back into her room, she sat on her bed in a tank top and sweats. "You're just gonna sit...and watch?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

"That sounds...kinda boring."

"It is," I laughed.

"I'll stay up with you," she said, a yawn quickly following.

"You're tired," I said, coming to the edge of the bed, "You can sleep. I'll be right here."

"You shouldn't have to stay up alone."

"I will be anyway," I said, "You'll be out in minutes."

She sighed, our eyes meeting again. "Will you…," she asked, "Will you at least warm me up first?"

I slid onto the bed, sitting right next to her. She lay her head on my chest, curling her body against mine. It felt so damn good. So right. Everything about it.

"You sure you don't want me to stay up with you?"

I laughed, "I'm sure."

She closed her eyes. Just like I thought...her breathing slowed in minutes. I glanced down at her laying on me, a smile on her lips. Content. With me. And she's beautiful. God this is crazy. Yesterday I couldn't even tell how I felt. Hell I still didn't even know a couple of hours ago but now...It's like I've known all along. And I have. My blood did, it just took awhile to get it through my thick, apparently _very_ thick skull. I love this girl. I will do anything for her. Be her protector, her friend...anything. Anything she wants I will do it. Tonight, I'm gonna keep her safe and same for the rest of the nights of our lives. The only thing that's standing in the way is the fact I haven't told her how I feel. I have to. But how? I can't just randomly insert it into conversation. Yeah hey by the way Kel I'm head over heels for ya...No. It has to be better than that. As she drifted off, I smiled. Couldn't hurt hurt to whisper it now...but what if she hears it? I don't want to wake her right now...Well I suppose I could do it in a way she won't _quite_ understand.

"Nayeli," I whispered in her ear, running my fingers through her hair."

Well that was easy. Of course it was. She's asleep or at least getting there. But she deserves to hear it when she's awake too. Oh man. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'm going to tell her the truth. All of it. She needs to know that I am hers for the rest of time. That fight I thought I had to wage is now over. I can't do it anymore. I'm done. I surrender.


	17. Chapter 17: The Truth and a Kiss

Chapter 17: The Truth and a Kiss

I sat on the edge of the bed. Light poured through her window. My heart raced in my chest. My hands not only sweat but shook a little. I swallowed. How? How am I going to do this? What do I say? Aw man. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Why can't it be easy? It should be shouldn't it? I mean, I love her. She loves me. I should be able to just say the words...I groaned, running a hand through my hair. She deserves more. More than just I love you. She deserves an orchestra and flowers and...the world. I keep thinking back about when I told her about imprinting...that damn smile….what she said… I just want to make her happy.

I felt her shift and smiled. I turned back to look at her. "You're awake," I said.

"I've been up all night like you," she said, tossing off the blanket I'd put on her, "didn't you notice?"

I grinned as I replied, "You'll have to teach me how to stay awake with your eyes closed."

"It's a gift," she chuckled before asking, "Anything happen?"

"No," I shook my head, "He knows I was here and you're protected."

"He's always known that," she sighed, putting her pillow back, "Even when you weren't around."

"He's gonna try to get you alone again though," I said. Damn bloodsucker.

"Never gonna happen," she said, moving closer to me, "I'm always gonna have you nearby."

I glanced back at her. How can she be so calm? "You're not scared at all…," I said, "are you?"

She shook her head. "You guys will protect me."

"You really trust us that much," I said, "Or is there something else?"

"I do, I really do," she said, nudging me, "Having you around doesn't hurt either."

Kelly sat so close to me now, I could feel her breath with mine. Our eyes met. It was another one of those moments. A moment where I just knew I needed to be here with her, now. I almost leaned in to kiss her. Why waste words? Maybe this would be better. Show her how I feel...

"So," she said, breaking the silence, "It doesn't look like it's going to rain just yet."

"It's still cold down there," I replied.

"Well," she chuckled, "I do plan on putting on a shirt but even so...I'm sure a certain wolf wouldn't mind keeping me warm. He's my protector after all."

I smiled, more than I had before. This is it. My chance. But not here. I need a place, a different one….somewhere with something she'll love…..then it hit me.

"How about Third beach instead?" I said, "It's kinda a hike...but it's worth it. I promise."

"Sounds great."

We headed out and walked. I could feel my nerves. I just had to wait for the right moment. The waterfall. That's it. That's when I would tell her. I'll show her something beautiful then tell her that she's just as beautiful, she loves corny romantic lines like that...

"You know I've never been a huge nature fan. It feels...I don't know...cool….Oh shut up. Let me have my moment."

I raised my brows. Huh? I turned to face her, "I didn't say anything."

"You didn't have to."

"Actually," I said, tossing a rock and trying to focus on what she _had_ in fact said," I was gonna say…. it's pretty great you've taken a liking to it. That's mainly what tourists come here for anyway...before they leave again."

"I didn't really have a choice about living here."

I'm an idiot. Why'd I have to say that? "Thats-That's not what I meant. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you-"

"Don't,", she said, grabbing my hand, "...it turned out to be the best thing for me. I'm not who I was then anyway," she dropped my hand, "I like the peacefulness."

"When it is you mean," I sighed.

She snorted, "When I'm not being stalked by a vampire? Please. That barely registers on my radar."

I glanced at her about to trip. I grabbed her before she fell.

"Thanks," she giggled up at me, "I'm very smooth as you can see."

"You okay?" I asked,.

"Fine," she answered, "Guess it's too much to ask for some sun huh?"

"We're lucky if we get that here."

"Well the sun's overrated anyway...I'm the palest Quileute ever."

I laughed, shaking my head, "Does it matter?"

"Well it'd be nice to not get mistaken for a leech."

I grabbed her before she tripped over a root. Our eyes met, "You could never be mistaken for that."

"Don't be so sure."

We laughed but walked. I held her hand. I just wanted her close. Not just because she was somehow struggling to walk but to keep her near me. I hate that the bloodsucker wants her. I want to tear him to bits. And yet she didn't seem like it bothered her. She could get killed and she just went on-no worries. Me? I'm freaking out. I'm crazy for her-about her. If I lost her-I don't know what I'd do.

I felt a nudge, "C'mon, I had to say it."

I turned to face her, unsure. Crap I wasn't paying attention again.

"If you can stop daydreaming for a second, I'd like to know if we're close."

"Sorry," I said, surveying where we were, "There's just a little bit left."

A soft rain gently pelted the leaves. I couldn't talk. I want to say all the right things but it's never been something I've been really good at. The last time I did something like this...I screwed it up. When we finally reached the beach, I knew no words were needed for the moment. She ran down, twirling around. I followed, taking her hand in mine again. I swear there's nothing better to watch then her, right now, happy.

"I love watching waves when no one else is around," she said, "Thank you for bringing me here. I think this is my new fave beach."

I smiled. Here's hoping what I'm about to say keeps it like that...

"That's not all this beach has, c'mon," I said.

We walked down a ways until I stopped. I pulled her in closer to me, pointing. Her eyes followed my finger. "Look over there," I said, "See the waterfall? It falls right into the ocean."

She gasped, squeezing my hand. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Her eyes widened when she saw it. I swear she looked just like a kid getting a new toy. That happiness...and this time I made it happen.

"Thank you," she smiled, glancing at me then back at the water, "I love it here. And you're gonna laugh but...it's kinda romantic too…"

I swallowed. It is. Ans she sees it. I wanted this. Right? This is it. I'm gonna tell her. How should I start…?

"Don't rush to deny my corniness…"

"Huh?"

"I'm trying to be funny," she said, "You could give me a pity laugh."

"Sorry," I said, "Guess I was gone for a sec there."

Kelly stepped in front of me. "Is something wrong?" she asked, "That's the second time you've missed my attempt at humor. Are you okay or am I really not funny?"

I chuckled, "You're plenty funny."

"So then what is it?

My heart raced as I looked at her, her eyes not leaving mine. Honesty. That's what we agreed on right?

"It really doesn't bother you that a leech is after you?"

"I told you. I know you guys can handle it."

"And," I paused, "You're not worried anything will happen to me...like I might get hurt?

She rolled her eyes, "You? You can take anything Jake, I've seen it."

I sighed. God she's so perfect. She believes in me. The rain came down harder as she stepped closer to me. "What's with the 20 questions," she asked, "You can't tell me you're losing confidence in everything you can do."

I stared at her, "I've never...never had anyone have so much faith in us, the pack, before. I mean, Emily, Rachel and the rest do but that's because they're imprintees. Even my Dad worries about me getting hurt but not you," I stepped closer, "Never you. You don't...you don't give it a second thought."

"There's no need to," she shrugged.

"More than that," I said, staring into her eyes, "You're always here. No matter what. I've had other people there for me but you...you've always been there," I paused, swallowing, "Even, even when I've treated you the worst."

"That's what friends do," she replied, looking away momentarily.

"I've never had it like that," I confessed, "I've never had anyone so willing to sacrifice everything for...for me. It's really opened my eyes these last few days."

Her eyes flashed back to me, "What-What are you saying?"

"I don't want you to leave."

There. I said it. Part of it anyway.

"Jake," she said, stepping back a second and looking away, "I told you, it won't be for awhile …" she glanced at me then looked away, "I _have_ to do it.

She paused a few moments. "You can't do this," she shook her head, "I'm not gonna sit around and wait. I need to move on, need to...fall in love-again."

"No," I said, squeezing her hand, "You don't. That's what I'm trying to tell you," I pulled her closer to me, "When you told me that you wanna leave...sure I want you to do college but-when you told me you want to love someone else-I can't deal. I can't let you go love someone else when," I paused and gulped, "I didn't see it," I said, running a hand up her arm, "Now I know...why I can't let you."

"Jake…."

I couldn't let her say no. Not before she knew the truth. Words weren't working. Big surprise. Words aren't what I'm good at. I'm good at reacting, action. I leaned in and pressed my lips against hers. All the months of torture finally over to experience nothing I've ever known or will known again. The minute our lips touched I felt lighting striking the ground...hell lighting striking me. I shook from head to toe as it rushed over me. Heat, more uncontrollable than when I phased for the first time, surrounded me, ran through my veins. And for once it felt like everything finally fell into place. Everything vanished. It was just us. Me and her and it was the best thing imaginable.

I pulled away a second for us both to catch our breath. When our eyes met again and I saw her lips, open and swollen from my kiss... I had to go in again. I pulled her in closer to me. Her arms wrapped around my neck. I teased her lips with my tongue and she opened her mouth for me. Visions flooded my mind. I saw her laughing, all of us on the beach. I saw her biting her lip like she knows I like and at me, beckoning me forward with a finger. She lay back on her pillow as she said, "I love you Jake." Every single image held every ounce of happiness that I'd ever wanted. I started to glow again and it felt...good. I could barely take it all in. When she slid her hands down my chest, I groaned. Not in pain...oh no..but _pleasure_. It shocked my body in a way I didn't know it could. She knew exactly what to do to me….could read me the right way…She's my match, my soul mate.

God it felt amazing. I almost felt light-headed. I slowly pulled away, reluctantly. All I wanted was our kiss to keep going on forever. And it could and it would once I told her the truth. We're meant to be. It couldn't be more clear now. We pressed our foreheads together, neither of us opening our eyes. Before I opened my eyes, all I could think of is why the hell did I wait? This was better than anything I could've ever asked for. She's perfect. She loves me. I love her. Why...why did I deny myself this? As much as I tried, no other images appeared. I knew the reason but suddenly that reason didn't matter. I couldn't even think of her. Not her face. Nothing. She was just gone. _Bella?_ Gone. Well I'll be damned. It's like she's been erased and crazy enough, I'm not even sad about it. I'm...holy crap. I'm _happy_. Really freaking happy. This is a whole new occurrence for me. It almost feels too good to be true. Is all my pain over? I...I can't believe. I've finally let her go and I'd glad. I'm...free.


	18. Chapter 18: I Screwed Up BAD

Chapter 18: I Screwed Up. BAD.

I couldn't believe it. Everything felt different...right. Finally I know what it's like to want someone with every part of me and knowing that she _is_ meant for me...Okay...So now comes the part where I tell her we're meant to be. Aww man...How am I gonna tell her that? I mean she digs the corny stuff but I don't want it to come out stupid. Plus I don't know how she'll react. Will she be happy? She'll probably be upset I took so long-

"You-you bastard."

I snapped my eyes open. What the hell? She's...she's angry, like hella angry. I haven't ever seen her this mad since she found out the stories were true. But she can't be...why would she be? I haven't even told her she's my imprint yet...Besides, that kiss...that kiss was perfect. Both of them were actually. I _know_ she felt it too...I just know it. Besides she kissed me back, I felt it. I felt her touch me, give in...all of it. Then why is she mad? Is it because I took too long? Did she already ...move on? Oh God am I too late? I searched her face for the answers but found only the flashes of anger in her eyes...and the quivering lip of hurt. I just don't get it. I mean...everything was perfect. The only thing that could possibly upset her is...The other night she was pretty uncomfortable hearing about-oh no. B-b-but that was a thought. I only _thought_ Bella's name I didn't-I couldn't have _said_ it...you know _out loud_ ….Am I that big of an idiot? Judging by the look on her face. Yes. Yes I am. Shit.

"Kelly...I..," I tried to find words, to make her understand, "That's not what I meant to say...It's...It's not what you think."

"Oh really?" she snarled, "And what exactly am I supposed to think?"

Oh boy. I stepped toward her but she backed away. I gulped. This isn't good. No no no no no...don't do this. I swear...Oh Kelly I swear I don't….not her, not anymore….no...shit.

"I can't believe you," she said, water brimming around her eyes. Her teeth chattered as she said, "How could you? I told you not to give me any hope...there was none! Then you do... _this_ and it was-" she gulped, "I thought I knew everything about you but…" she paused and shook her head, "You're not who I thought you were…"

Kelly turned. She started to walk away but I grabbed her hand. I tugged her gently to face me. She can't go. Not like this. Not when she doesn't know, doesn't _understand_. I need to make her understand.

"Please," I begged, "I **swear** it's not that. I wasn't thinking about her! Just you…. **only** you-"

"Save it Jake, you **always** wanted the leech lover. Even now and she's _married_ to that-that- _thing..._ ," she squeezed her fists, shaking, "But I'm no stand in."

"Kelly, please-," I begged. I gulped and kept trying to move closer but she backed away each time I did. She doesn't want to be near me at all. Shit. Shit shit shit.

"Don't!" she said, "Don't call, don't text, nothing. Just...just leave me alone."

She turned to get away again but I ran in front of her. "Let me at least walk you home," I said, "Please. Drake's still out there looking for you. You shouldn't be alone."

"Then let him," she replied, "I don't need a bodyguard….I hope he comes to kill me. I wish he would," she gritted her teeth, clenching her teeth, "I wish I'd never fallen for you and that you never ever look at me again," she sniffled, a couple tears falling down her cheek, "Most of all I-I wish we never met."

She turned and sprinted as far away from me as she could. This time I didn't move. Couldn't move. I watched her go, disappearing on the trail. Her last words ate at me. Piece by piece. I felt the air leave my chest. My stomach sank. Everything….everything just fell apart. What the hell did I just do? I didn't even mean to say it I-Oh God. She doesn't want to see me...talk...I...How the hell am I gonna make this up to her? I need to make it right but...how? She's super pissed and I...I can't think. Not when that bloodsucker could be out there watching...waiting...and now she's alone...I phased to be able to see the leech or if anyone had seen him. Once it was obvious he wasn't nearby, I howled and howled. Part of it for warning, the other part...because the pain returned. Only this time...this time was so much worse. I never knew pain until now.

How did this happen? I felt weak, light headed. Oh God am I gonna pass out? No I gotta be strong...gotta-Shit. I screwed it up. All of it. One word. Not even multiple. Just one. One name and everything I had going disappeared in one fraction of a damn second. Will she ever forgive me? Can she? Oh hell- should she? Probably not. But I want her to. _Need_ her to. Dammit. Today was supposed to be it. And it was. For one moment everything finally went right only to then go terribly wrong. How the hell do I keep screwing this up? What the hell is wrong with me?

"Jake...Whoa…"

"Is...is the leech out there?"

"Not that we've seen...whoa...Jake."

"Don't,...I don't need to hear it."

"We're not gonna harp on you this time."

"Maybe we should."

"Cool out Jared."

"Well if he'd told her when it first happened none of this would be happening now."

"You think I don't know that? That I don't feel freaking guilty? I was just about to tell her the rest and now...now she's pissed at me...I swear I didn't mean to say that."

"We know Jake."

"We can see it from your thoughts."

"Although it'd be nice to see less."

"Shut up Leah, it's a welcome break from you and Eric."

"Jake-"

"What?"

"Go after her."

"I can't"

"You can and you should."

"I can't...I know her. She needs space. I have to give it to her...no matter if it kills me. She needs her space tonight then...then I can see her in the morning."

"You should take care of it now. You shouldn't let things stay like this. It'll make things worse."

"He's right."

"Butt out Leah. Just because you're with Eric-"

"Shove it Paul. I **know** Eric and he is _a lot_ like his sister. As much as I can't believe the words are coming from my mouth, Jacob's ...right."

"I'm gonna quote you on that."

"Oh shut up."

"Hope you're right, some girls actually _like_ being chased."

"She isn't playing hard to get."

"Still say it's a stupid plan."

"Shut up-both of you."

"So then what are we gonna do?"

"Let's keep perimeters tight. Without Jacob being too close to Kelly, bloodsucker may make a move."

"I'll guard her house."

"Thanks Embry."

"Me too."

"Thanks Quil."

"It'll be okay Jake."

"I sure hope so."

"It will Jacob, just like you said, give her her space. Everything will work out."

"I guess I'll find out tomorrow."

I phased back. I didn't rush home. The rain finally let up after a few minutes. It barely registered. I couldn't get her face out of my mind. The tears streaming down her cheeks, the fire in her eyes from her anger….the worst...the worst is hearing her words echo in my brain. 'I wish we'd never met.' I felt the knife in my heart twist. She can't really mean that...can she? She's just mad...when people are mad they say a lot of things they don't mean...right? I grabbed my phone from my pocket. I almost called, almost texted too. I couldn't help it. I know she needs her space I just...God I want to make it up to her, prove to her that she's _it_ for me, that's she's always been and I've just been a gigantic idiot. But her gigantic idiot you know? But I'll give her her space. I'll leave her be tonight even though it's killing me to not do anything. I shoved my phone back in my pocket, seeing my house.

When I opened the door, Rachel was already there, in the kitchen.

"You okay?," she asked, walking towards me, "You don't look so good….You didn't fight with Paul did you?"

"Not now Rach," I replied, slumping on the couch.

"I'm not gonna yell at you," she said, "But it sure feels like I'm missing something. What's up?"

I glanced over at her. Least I could tell her everything.

"I kissed her."

"Kelly?"

"Yeah."

"That's great!," she came around and hugged me then slowly pulled away, "Wait...you should be happier then...what happened?"

"I messed up Rach," I said, gulping, "I didn't mean to say it, I swear."

"Say...what?"

I met her eyes for a second before looking back at the floor, "Bella. I said Bella and….she took off."

"Oh no," she said with a sigh, "You're still thinking about her?"

"No," I said, "That's just the thing, I _wasn't_. That's what stunned me. She was just...gone. Completely. And it was everything you guys said. Kelly was there and all I could see was her...us. I was happy, **am** happy with just Kelly," I sighed, "I just don't think she's gonna be happy with me. She's pretty upset. She said some things…"

"People say things in anger they don't mean," Rachel said, "Everything will work out... I'll...I'll give her a call."

"I doubt she'll answer."

"She might," she said, "Don't you want me to try?"

I paused a second then nodded. "I'm gonna give her space tonight….I know she wants it."

"I'm sure she does," Rachel put a hand on my shoulder, "Don't worry. This will all get sorted out."

"I hope so."

I stood and went into my room. After I shut the door, I collapsed on my bed. God I hope I didn't do damage I can't fix. Being without her...hell even one night feels like torture. After the two weeks I stupidly avoided her...aw crap. I lay back on my bed. I glanced at the picture she gave to me. I kept it on my nightstand. Both of us laughing. We were happy then. I want it back. I want her smile, her laugh….her. I want her. I want her for the rest of my life. Deep down though, I keep getting this nagging feeling. Like I've blown it. God I hope not. Not when I've finally got my head out of my ass. I swallowed. Oh man. It's gonna be a long night.


	19. Chapter 19: She's 's All My Fault

Chapter 19: She's Gone. It's All My Fault.

The wait killed me. I couldn't sleep. Couldn't think. At least not about anything but her. Hours dragged on by like watching paint dry. Except that would be more interesting. Shit. How do I apologize? Sorry...well that didn't really seem like enough. I've never had to do this before. Flowers maybe? Chocolate? Once it was light, I got up and headed to the convenience store. Luckily they had some flowers, not a ton but hell it's better than nothin'. At least chocolate was easy to find. God I hope this works. I'd do anything just to see her smile at me again. Like when she saw Strawberry Bay for the first time. Carefree and beautiful as she ran down and twirled. That moment...I'll never forget. She didn't even care about the rain. Neither did I. Everything was...perfect. Before I messed everything up. Finally, I mustered up the courage to head towards her house. I gulped. I stood outside her window, flowers and chocolates in hand. I tapped lightly. I waited a few moments then tapped again. When I tried to open it and it didn't budge, my heart sank. Locked. Crap. This isn't good.

"Kelly," I tapped again, "Please open up. It's me."

No answer. No sounds. I sighed.

"Please," I said, "Please let me explain. I swear what you're thinking isn't...It's not like that. Please."

Still nothing.

"I...I brought some flowers for you...and chocolate, your favorite kind," I said, swallowing again. I paused then said, "Please just let me explain. I was just...surprised cuz Bella's gone. She's outta my head completely. You...you're the only person I can't stop thinking about. The only one I **want** to think about. Please," I gulped again, "I didn't want to say this if it wasn't to your face because you deserve to know that I," I gulped again, "...I love you."

I touched the window. Still no sound. Damn. Not even a reaction to that? Unless she's not in the room. But she has to be. Maybe I'm doing this all wrong. Last time we were separated...she opened her door. That's right. She thought I was her Dad….I hurried to the other side of the house. I knocked on the door. Moments later Joe answered. I saw the bags under his eyes...great. He knows. Shit.

"I uh…" I started, "I'm sorry to wake you I just...I uh-I came to apologize...to her...about yesterday."

"Oh kid-,"Joe sighed, slightly shaking his head, "I don't think an apology can cut it this time."

"Please," I said, stepping forward, clutching the flowers and chocolates, "I have to try. I have to make her understand that I didn't...I didn't mean to say that."

"I get it Jake," he said, "It was a misunderstanding."

"She-she told you?" I gulped.

"She did."

"I swear-I swear on my life-hers even, I didn't mean it like it sounded."

"I know," he said, "Seeing you standing here, I know you didn't. Mistakes happen. It's about time you saw the light anyhow."

I sighed. Thank God. I thought he was gonna kill me. Plus side for Joe, he's not the shotgun Dad type.

"So," I said, "Can I-Can I talk to her?"

"She's not here Jake."

So I was confessing everything to an empty room? Sounds like me.

"The beach then?" I sighed, "Of course. I can't believe I didn't-"

"No Jacob," he said, staring at me, "She's...gone."

"W-What do y-you mean?," I said, "Gone?"

"She left last night," he sighed, "I don't know, neither does she, when she'll come back."

"S-S-she left?" I gulped again. I felt my heart stop. I could barely breathe. Her bouquet fell to the ground followed by the chocolates, "W-where?"

"She asked me not to say," he said, "Look kid-I know this is hard but she needs time. You need to let her have it. I know...I know last time was no picnic for either of you but this time you need to leave her be."

"B-But-"

I felt his hand on my shoulder. "She won't be gone forever Jake, I can't let myself believe that," Joe sighed, "For now...I think it'd be best if you weren't here and didn't come around here for awhile. I'm glad you finally came to your senses…" he paused, "But I have to tell Eric and I can't imagine he's going to be too happy with you either."

"Yeah...you're right," I said, "I-I'm sorry. I swear I didn't mean to hurt her. Y-you gotta believe me."

"I do Jake," he sighed, "I just... I can't look at you right now."

And just like that, he shut the door. I turned away. Gone. My sun-my everything is gone. She just left. Oh God. I ruined...ruined everything. I picked up the flowers and chocolates and tossed them in the trash bin. She doesn't want an apology. She doesn't want anything. She doesn't want...me. No. Space. She wants space. Like I wanted it before. No. This can't be happening. I can't let her. I won't let her go. Last time...last time I barely made it. I can't do it again. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed. Of course she didn't pick up. Voicemail.

"I'm sorry-a million times over," I said, "I'm an idiot. Please, can we talk?"

Oh man. I **am** an idiot. After I hung up...I realized that last one was crap. I do sound like an idiot. I tried again. Still no answer. Straight to voicemail.

"It's me again. I didn't mean to say that-I promise. Please...just let me explain."

I hung up again. I clenched my fists. Maybe...I should give it a little time.

10 minutes only? Shit. That's about how long I survived. I called again.

I sighed, "It's Jake. Your dad-he told me you left when I stopped by this morning. Where'd you go?" Please-Please tell me you'll come back….or at least if you...," I paused, "If you never wanna see me again. I still want-no it's so much _more_ than that I...I _need_ you in my life."

I ended the call. My heart sank. Oh man. I've done it this time. And the award for the biggest idiot goes to...me. Shit. I headed to Emily's. Last thing I need is to be holed up and just...thinking. The more I keep thinking about it the more I wonder if I can even fix it. When I opened the screen door and walked inside, I could barely handle the pity glances they tossed my way.

"Don't," I said, plopping into a chair, "Just...don't. I know what you're all going to say. That I should've told her sooner," I sighed, "I know, kay?" I paused but no reactions came. I sighed and went on, "I just wanted to love her for _me_ , not just because my blood told me too." I squeezed my hands into fists, "And now I do. And she's gone. She left and she's...she's probably not coming back."

"Jacob," Emily said, "She has to come back. La Push is her home."

"Right," Rachel said, "She loves it here."

"It doesn't matter," I sighed, "She hates me and I'm here so-"

"It's not hate," Rachel said, "She's just upset. She'll calm down."

"Yeah just give her some time."

"All girls are like that, get angry over little things like eating all the food...," Paul said, catching a glance from Rachel, "But it'll work out."

"Exactly," Embry said.

"Where'd she go anyway?"

"Joe won't tell me-says she doesn't want me to know," I said.

"Ouch."

I glared at Seth.

"Easy...just saying."

"She probably just went back home," Jared said, "Where they lived before. Just go get her. Easy."

"I can't."

"And why the hell not?", he asked, "Thought you finally saw the light?"

"She doesn't want me, for one," I sighed, "And two...Drake still thinks she's here. Not gonna give the leech any sort of leg up. He needs to think she still is."

"What if he already knows she's gone?" Embry said, "We should have protection around her."

"We are, by making it look like she's still here."

"What's Eric have to say about all this?"

"He's going to kill him," Leah replied.

"I know," I sighed, "I knew that was coming. I deserve it."

"Jake," Emily came closer, "She loves you, remember that. She's mad now, sure, but that love is always there. She'll forgive you."

"Maybe," I said, "Maybe she shouldn't."

"Jake-"

"No-," I looked at all of them, "All of you….you all tried to tell me and I just _couldn't_ listen. I kept holding on to something else, someone else that I should've let go of. Now that I finally see...It's all my damn fault. Jared's right-"

"Whoa whoa-don't bring me into this."

"But you are...I should've told her sooner. I should've gone to her last night and maybe...maybe she'd still be here," I scoffed, "I gotta be the only wolf in history who screwed it up with his imprint."

"Jake…"

"No-I'm gonna go...I can't do this right now."

Before they could say anymore I jetted out the door. I went back home, shutting myself in my room. I collapsed on my bed again, looking at the picture of us.I'd give anything to take it back, to redo that moment. How different it would've been if I'd said her name instead. It probably would've gone something like this…

"Kelly," I said, our foreheads pressed together. Slowly I opened my eyes, looking at her.

I could see it, her lips curling into a smile. "That was-"

"Amazing," I finished, "You shouldn't be surprised...you're one helluva kisser."

Her cheeks reddened, her eyes dropping to the ground.

"Hey," I said, pulling her face back to mine, "No need to do that...," I paused a sec, "I'm sorry I took so damn long."

She giggled, "And here I was about to say I told you so…"

"You did," I said, pressing my lips to hers again, gently, "Sorry I'm an idiot."

"You're not," she said, "Just a little slow."

We laughed. This. This is it. This is everything I've wanted...and then some.

"I love you," I said, "Don't leave. Please. Not yet."

"We'll talk about that later," she said, running her hands up and down my arms, "Right now I just...I can't believe this is happening."

"You should," I grinned, "It was always kinda meant to."

"What do you mean?" she tilted her head to the side.

"Remember when I told you about imprinting and you said you wish you knew who your soul mate was?"

"Yea…," she said, her eyes widened and she squeezed my arms, "You...you did? With-with me?"

"Yea," I smiled, "The moment we met," I paused, "I'm sorry I made you wait-I just-"

"No," she said shaking her head, "Don't. I don't want to trade this moment for anything."

"Me either."

"Is this really happening?" She asked.

"You tell me," I replied.

I leaned in again and she pressed her lips against mine. The glow, the fire, everything we felt just came out. Rain didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Just us. Forever.

"Is this a dream?"

Yeah. It is. Because that's not what freaking happened. That's what _should've_ happened. That was the plan. But nothing **ever** goes according to plan does it? Hours dragged by. Raindrops slid down my window. the weather copied my mood. I picked up the picture again. God she's so beautiful. And perfect. And I wasted so much damn time. That's the part that's killing me too. I wasted all this damn time to finally tell her and now-dammit. I looked at the clock. Hours had passed. Guess that happens when you're lost in your own damn thoughts. Wishing you could change things…

Finally, I picked up the phone and dialed again. Again, no answer, just voicemail. I sighed.

"It's me. You're not gonna answer and I...I don't blame you," I sighed, "I am sorry-for everything," I am. I really freaking am. "Take the time you need. I'll wait...as long as it takes for you to forgive me and...come back. Forever even, and you know I can do that," I half-chuckled then paused. I swallowed then went on, "You're the most amazing person I've ever met Kelly-and I...I don't deserve you., not even as a best friend when I've been the worst person on the planet to you….," Her face flashed back into my mind. I really had. What kind of jerk am I? "I'll do **anything** to make it up to you if, if you'll just let me. I'm-I'm," I broke, my voice cracking, "sorry."

I ended the call and tossed my phone aside. I sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the picture again. She's so happy. I can hear her laugh. I love that smile. She's so...perfect. That's the only word I can think of. Everything I need, want...and I just blew it. I squeezed my fists and threw the picture. It smashed against the wall. Shit. I stood and went over to it. I picked the image up out of the frame. Shit. I didn't mean to break it. I picked up the pieces, the glass shards digging into my hands. Doesn't matter. They'll heal and it'll look like nothing ever happened. But I know differently. It did happen. I screwed it up. It's my fault. God I can't think of a reason she should forgive me. I can't forgive myself. Not for this. All this time I pushed her to the side...well in a way. I kept her by my side, needed her there….God I really did pull a Bella. I just strung her along and she fell in love with me. Now I'm in love with her and she's gone. Of course. I chuckled. Serves me right. Karma. I just wish it didn't hurt so damn bad. I can barely breathe. I don't even know...what happens to a wolf who loses their imprint? Can they survive? Or do they cease to be? I guess I'm about to find out.


	20. Chapter 20: Close Call

Chapter 20: Close Call

The next day I stood outside Emily's. I didn't even want to go in. They're all trying to cheer me up when they really shouldn't. Why are they even bothering? They're the ones who were constantly on me about telling her and now...but they're my friends too I guess. They just want the best for me. But I don't want to be cheered up. I shouldn't be happy about this. Kelly never called back. No texts either. Silence. I sighed. Why am I surprised? She's not going to want to talk to me. Her hurt is more than mine. At least I think. That's why she's not calling. Though I swear that my whole damn world is cavin' in. Why can't I stop being a complete idiot? Do I have something programmed in my damn brain to make me like this? Isn't there a way to fix this-

"Jake."

I turned around to come face to face with a fist. However, the person who threw the punch clutched his hand as my nose bled for about two seconds. I wiped it just as if finished healing. Damn wolf thing. For once I probably deserved to bleed a bit more.

"Told ya you should've let me, babe," Leah said, putting her phone away before caressing Eric's hand.

Eric seethed, "You could've told me his jaw was like rocks!"

Leah shrugged, glancing at me, "Told you he's mad."

"Mad doesn't even begin to cover it," Eric gritted out.

"It's okay," I said, "I deserve it."

"You're damn right!" Eric said, "What were you thinking? You know how she feels about you and then you do that to her? God I hate you right now!"

"You should," I answered, then sighed, "You just can't hate me as much as I hate myself."

I heard him say something but I just got outta there. I couldn't stay. The guilt was already eating at me. Both Price siblings hated me. Geeze. I walked. And walked. And walked some more. Normally, I'd phase but the last thing I want is others in my head. They don't need to see this. Probably don't want to. Bad enough they saw me mope around about Bella, heard all those damn thoughts. Now with Kelly...no. Part of me wishes I could have their anger back from when I did think about Bella. It's better than this. Pity glances and crap like that because they feel sorry for me. Because she's my imprint. And they don't want to see a wolf without their imprint. Because that's not how this is supposed to go. It's supposed to be wolf gets imprint and then happily ever after. Not for me. But they can't change it, what happened. I can't even change what I did, no matter how much I wish I could.

I ended up at First beach, climbing on the same driftwood I always found her on. Makes sense. It's as close as I can get to her right now. We're so damn similar. Come to stare at the waves and think. And it works. We think, we calm down. Why didn't she just come here...like normal? Maybe being on a beach after what happened on the other one...God I missed her. Her face, her smile, her laugh….all of it. It's only been two days. Two days but it might as well be years. It feels like the whole world is less bright...especially here where it's pretty crappy year round. At least with her here with was brighter, happier. Now she's not and it's back to being dreary. And then there's me. The one who screwed it all up. Now I'm just...lost. Never thought I'd ever feel this way. I've always known what to do. But now...I got nothing.

I heard sloshing sand and caught sight of him with my peripherals. Hmm he didn't bring her. Wonder why not. They're never apart.

"If you wanted to do damage," I said, "You should've really brought Leah. Don't want you to hurt yourself again."

"I come in peace," Eric said, climbing up.

"How's you hand?" I asked as he sat down.

"Hurts," he replied, "But I feel a whole lot better…. Sorry."

I sighed and glanced away, "You got nothing to be sorry for. I had it coming."

"Yeah I do," he said, "I don't hate you. I can't hate anybody. I'm sorry I said that."

"It's fine."

"No, it's not," he said, "It's just-she's my sister."

"I get it," I replied, "I'm protective of mine too."

"It's more than that," he sighed, "Before...before you came back, when we just got here...we both were the new kids and nobody really wanted to talk to us. Kelly & me, we were close before our parents died. After-well we've been close."

"I know," I said, "She talks about you a lot. She's protective of you too."

"Same," he answered, "She talks about you too."

"Sorry," I shrugged.

"For what?" he paused, "Yeah sure I was mad earlier but...damn Jake, seeing you like this, right now...I've never seen you like this. You're not you. That's why I'm here."

"You don't need to try and cheer me up…" I said, "I don't need that right now."

"I'm not great at that anyway," he said, "No what I came for is...did Kelly...did she tell you about Dan, her ex?"

"Yeah," I said, "More or less. Not every detail."

"So you know how serious it was?"

"Yeah...then he cheated on her."

"Yeah and the day it happened…"

"...your parents died."

"Yeah, it was bad enough he was a jerk but-," Eric sighed, "When she told me...she tries to hold it together all the time and I know she does that a lot cuz of me. After that day, she just kinda felt like she needed to be strong, for me. She never really lets on how she's really feeling if she can help it."

"She does," I said, "sometimes anyway."

"Around you?"

"I guess," I shrugged.

"Look, the point I'm getting at is-She put up walls. Even to me. But never with you," he said, "Whatever ones she had, you tore them down. I don't even know if she put them up with you at all until...," he paused a sec, "You know, we talked that night….after she told you how she felt."

I glanced at him. I gulped. Oh man. I was such a jerk. I wanted to tell her so bad then. But I couldn't.

"She told me how scared she'd been to tell you. She knew it would probably wreck things," he said, "but she told me she never felt anything like it before."

She was scared? Why...oh right. Because she thought I was head over heels for Bella. And I was at that time...still a little bit...wasn't I? Or was it just because I was too big of a coward to tell her how I felt? And now she's never felt anything like how she does for me...

"W-why are you telling me this?"

"Because I have no idea how you can feel the same and **not** go after her," he said, "You really have no idea where she went?"

"She's back home," I said, "Where you both used to be. Makes sense she'd go there."

"If you know-"

"I can't," I said, "I can't go. Your dad-he told me she didn't want me to know to follow her. She needs her space and-no matter how much it kills me-I'll give it to her. After what I did...I've done...she deserves it."

"Be straight with me Jake, you're gonna make this right-when she comes back-right?"

"Who knows if she even will."

"You're kidding right?" he raised a brow, "After what I just told you? Besides, we've all seen you two. You make each other smile and that kinda happiness will bring her back. She wants to be happy and even if she's mad, she knows she's happy with you."

"I want her to be too."

"I know you do," he smiled, smacking me on the shoulder, "Can't wait to have you as part of the family."

I smiled, "One thing at a time."

Eric jumped down, "We should probably head back."

"Yeah…," Suddenly I caught a whiff of a scent. "Don't move," I said.

My nose scrunched from the stench. _Drake_. Then a chuckle came from behind.

"To think," The leech said, "You think you _deserve_ her."

I turned, coming face to face with the bloodsucker.

"Stay away from her," I hissed.

"Dog, you do not frighten me," he replied as two other leeches flanked him.

"Is this who I think it is…?" Eric said to me.

"Ahh, the brother yes?," Drake grinned, "Well well, how convenient."

"For what?" Eric glared at him.

"To get my prize back to me of course," his teeth gleamed, "Your capture and then death will bring her home."

"You knew," I gritted out, "You knew she left?"

"Of course, nothing she does escapes my notice."

"Then why let her leave?"

"Because she must come to me on her own," Drake grinned, "She's so strong-willed...and now she will come to me. She will never allow anything to happen to her brother, or father...or friends."

"You'd take away everything she loves?," Eric spat, stepping forward but I held him back.

"She won't love you for much longer," he replied, looking straight at me, "She will only see you for what you are, a snack."

"Eric-run!"

I phased and lunged for Drake. He darted off to the side. I lunged again and he moved again. This time he burst away and I pursued. "Guys Eric is being taken! Get here quick!"

"On our way!"

I turned back, heading for the other leech grabbing Eric's arm. I ripped apart his torso with one huge bite only to have the female jump on me. I tore off her arm, eliciting a loud hiss. The pack joined me in tearing both to shreds. I lunged again for Drake as he made his way back toward Eric.

"Foolish mutt," he snarled, "You cannot stop me!"

This time, Drake lunged at me, teeth bared. I moved out of the way and came up behind, sinking my teeth into his calf. He hissed, grabbing me by my fur. He slammed his other arm down into my back. I hit the ground, feeling a crunch. As I went to get back up he hit me again, sending me a few feet away. I saw Leah running toward him as he grabbed for Eric.

"You won't make it in time!"

"The hell I won't!"

"I got this!"

"No!"

I lunged at Drake again right as he grabbed Eric. Eric toppled over to the side. Drake got out of my grasp and ran. I chased after him until he disappeared into the water. I followed into the water for a little bit then came back. I phased back, my broken rib already healing.

"I had him!" Leah yelled at me as I approached her and Eric.

"You wouldn't have made it in time."

"He's-He's my imprint," she said, pulling Eric tight to her, "It's my job to protect him."

"I know that," I said, "He's also family to me. So my job too."

"Thanks...both of you," Eric said, "Still sitting right here."

I turned, starting to walk away when I heard, "Jacob."

I turned back, "What Leah?"

She paused a second, glancing at Eric who gave her a glance, then turned back to me and said, "Thank you."

I nodded, walking away again. This time I fell into step with Sam.

"Don't we have patrols by their house?"

"Yes and I've upped them," Sam replied, "You alright?"

"I'll be fine," I said, glancing back toward Leah, "Is Eric…?"

"A few bruises, that's it."

"What about Joe?"

"Your Dad's had him in sight all day."

"Who's patrolling first?"

"Me" Jared replied, "and Paul. You and Embry can have second. Go get some sleep. We'll call if we hear anything."

I nodded, heading for home. If I can't be with her, at least I can protect her. Her, her family, they will all be safe. The leech's words echoed in my brain. He's using her loved ones as bait to lure her back. He thinks killing everything she holds dear will make her be his...his prize. I gritted my teeth. Never. I've lost one girl to a bloodsucker but not Kelly. They'll never touch her. I will never let it happen. At least for now, instead of being depressed I can shift my focus to one thing I don't mess up...protection.


	21. Chapter 21: I Deserve This But Damn This

Chapter 21: I Deserve This But Damn This Sucks

I went to her window. I just had to see...be there. It's so damn hard to stay away. But this time it was different than the last few times I'd come. The light was on. The window was unlocked. Hell even the curtains were open. Kelly came back. She's here. Oh my God. The relief overwhelmed me. I had to make it right. Had to make her smile again. I tapped and saw her. It was like nothing had happened. Well almost. She opened it and as I climbed in, I saw the wetness around her eyes. Why...Why's she crying? Is it still cuz of me? God how do I make up for this...I have to find a way...

"How could you let him do it Jake?" she said, staring at me.

"Let who do what?" I said, cocking an eyebrow, "What's going on?"

I tried come close to her, to hold her to make her feel better but she shrugged me off. Okay...something's up. What the hell? She hugged herself as she stared at me. "How could you let him," she said as she stood by the window, "how could you let Drake kill my dad?"

"What?" I said, approaching her, "There's no way-What are you talking about?, I-I-I just saw him…Kelly I swear..."

"Drake killed him," she said, another tear coming down her cheek, "Right in front of me. He bit him, drained him and I...I couldn't do anything…." She wiped her eyes and sniffled, "Where were you?"

I gulped, "I...I wasn't on patrol yet...Jared and Paul were here. They should've stopped him-I-I-"

"Why weren't _you?_ ," she asked, a tear slipping down her cheek. "You're supposed to protect me...my family…"

"I was just," I gulped, "I was getting some sleep…before my turn to keep watch…"

"So," she stared at me, "You let my dad die because you were... tired?" She shook her head, "You're never tired around me…You always stay awake..."

"Kelly," I reached for her hand but she kept her arms crossed, "I swear I didn't mean for this to happen-"

She turned away from me, looking out her window. "I loved you Jake," she said, voice wavering, "How could you do this to me? I thought you were my protector..."

"I am your protector," I gulped, "I'm sorry I-"

"You're sorry?" she said, turning back to face me, "My Dad is dead and all you can say is you're sorry?"

"Kelly I-" My chest heaved. Oh God. I've failed her. As if she hated me before now….now her dad is gone and it's my fault...

Suddenly Drake appeared behind her, next to the window.

"Kelly...don't move," I warned.

"Why not?" she said, " _He_ loves me. He wants me...he _always_ has. I was never his second choice," she said.

I gulped. I can't believe what I'm hearing. No. No no no no. Kelly no.

"He'll keep me safe and never hurt me. Won't you Drake?", She turned and looked back at him.

"Of course," he replied, "Are you ready then?"

"Yes," she said, nodding, tilting her head and exposing her neck.

Without another second wasted, he met my gaze, grinned, then sunk his teeth into her.

"No!" I screamed, lunging toward him. They disappeared. I screamed her name. I rushed to find them. Next thing I knew, I jolted awake, feeling the sweat running down my temples. I was in my room, a pillow now ripped to shreds. The moon shone through my window. I ran a hand through my hair. What the hell? Oh my God. It better not be real...I rushed out, phasing and sprinting towards her house. As I approached, I saw Jared and Paul approaching me.

"What's up Jake...you hear something?"

"Is...is Joe okay?"

That nightmare...her face. I had to know for sure.

"Snoozing away. Think he might be louder than Paul."

"Shut up Jared."

"You okay?"

"Yeah fine...just a bad dream I guess."

Understatement.

"We got this Jake."

"Yeah bud, go get some sleep."

"I know I just-"

"Look, we know you're worried but we can handle this. It's our job too. You can relieve us in a few hours."

"Yeah...I will."

"Just a dream Jake-none of us will ever let anything happen to her family."

"Yeah...I know."

I phased back, heading back home. I sunk back onto my bed but sleep wasn't coming back. No matter how tired I felt, there's no way sleep was happening. I kept seeing her face...the tears..then Drake sinking his teeth in...I clenched my fists. Never. No way. He's not gonna win. He will NEVER turn her. She's not gonna be one of them. Nope. Never. God this sucks. Why do I feel like I'm not doing enough? How can I do more? I mean we got patrols, we're watching them and she's just-Can't think about that. If I do...Aw man. God I miss her. Distraction. I need a distraction. Better a distraction then thinking about how I'm such a stupid-

I put in a movie, not even looking at which one. Love Actually. Nice. Of course I'd pick that one. The minute the opening scenes came on the memories flood back into my brain. How I didn't give a damn about the popcorn that night. I was trying to be good...for awhile. But honestly I just wanted-needed her hand in mine. Then when she leaned against me….I groaned. I missed it. I missed how it felt being so close to her. Sometimes I don't even think she was cold...and I can't complain. I might've then because I was stupidly hanging on to someone else but now-I'd give anything to have it back. The movie is still good but...it'll never be as good without her next to me. Without her watching my every reaction to see if I liked it. God I should've kissed her that night. I wanted to, can't deny that….My stomach growled. God I've barely eaten since she's been gone. And I'm a wolf! I have a huge damn appetite. I went into the kitchen, hoping Rach left something. Wasn't really anything left. Dammit Paul. At least heleft some potato chips. I munched on those but my thoughts kept drifting back to her. Her face. Her smile. That laugh. I want her back so much. My focus-even on protection is off. I mean, that nightmare shook me. Nothing shakes me usually. I'm a damn mess. This must be what real love feels like. And you know what? It sucks.

Days went by. Then a week. Our patrols probably pissed the bloodsucker off. Good. He's not coming near them. We had a few brief encounters but he kept his damn distance. Probably sizing us up, trying to find a weak spot. Good luck. We don't have those. And I'll never let him hurt her family. Never. If there's one thing I am good at, it's keeping her safe.

Then 8 days went by, 9, 10, 11….13. 13 days. How the hell am I still going? She still didn't come back. She would've texted, called or something right? Oh man. I really messed it up. It she was gonna come back she would've by now. It's over. All over. I swallowed. How the hell am I gonna get over her? I'm not. Let's be honest. There _is_ no getting over her. She's my imprint. I walked outside and headed toward the garage. I leaned against the garage door. I glanced in at the Rabbit. Maybe I should just go get her...How far is Wisconsin anyway? I mean I know she wants space but I can't take this anymore...

"Not leavin' again, are ya kid?"

I whipped around to see my dad. "No," I sighed, "I'm giving her what she needs. Even if it's killin' me."

I slumped on the stool. Glancing over at him, I saw he raised a brow. I sighed. "You don't have to worry dad, I'm not gonna run away again," I sighed again, "Not when there's even a tiny chance she might come back."

"I know," he said, coming closer, "That's not why I'm here."

I raised a brow. "Then what?" I asked.

He stopped next to me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "How are you holdin' up?"

"I don't even know," I said, looking at him.

"She'll come back, Jacob, she loves you."

"Everyone keeps saying that," I said, "But just because you love a person doesn't mean ...that doesn't mean she can forgive everything."

"And everyone can't be right in this case?" he paused, "Or you don't want to have hope in case she doesn't?"

"Dad, I love her," I swallowed, " More than anything and I screwed up **everything**. Just by one word. I don't even know why she does love me…. if she still does. I don't even know if she should give me another chance," I sighed, "It doesn't make any damn sense."

"That's what love is," he chuckled, "Never makes sense. Hell I never knew what your mother saw in me or why she put up with me."

I paused, glancing at him. "You never talk about her…" I said, "Mom."

He didn't say anything, only looked away for a moment.

"I know you miss her," I said, "I wish...I wish I could remember her."

"You can see her in Rachel, she's a spitting image of her," he said, glancing back at me, "And you-you're just like her. Stubborn to a damn fault. Both of you...you fight for what you want and never give up," he smiled, "That doesn't come from me."

"Do you…" I paused, "Do you ever wish it was you that died-not her?"

This time he sighed. "I did, for awhile," he said, "But not anymore. With Sue...we both need each other. Your mom is in a better place. I know that she's happy there and proud of all of you and what you've become."

"Sue...," I nodded, "She's good for you."

"You got your own girl to worry about-" he nudged me, grinning.

I laughed. "I just mean," I paused, "I'm glad your happy."

"I'll be more happy when _you_ are," he said, pausing a second, "Look, I know Bella hurt you. But I also know you finally see how much better Kelly is for you. It'll be nice when you two are on the same page. You both deserve to be happy."

"Thanks Dad."

"Alright," he said, "Enough of this sappy stuff. I better get inside before Paul eats the meal I'm hungry for."

I chuckled, "Good luck."

I glanced one more time at the Rabbit. I really do just want to go get her. But I can't. She needs time. I just...I miss her so damn much. But at the two week mark...hell she's not coming back...she's probably gonna get the jump on college. I need to just accept it... I can't. Can I? I want her to be happy...hell isn't that what people say? That they want the other person to be happy even if it's not with them? I call bullshit. At least in my case. I'm selfish. I want her more than anything. That's just something people say to make ourselves feel better for not getting the person they love. My dad's right. I do fight for what I want. Then why the hell am I not fighting harder? I do. I need to. I _have_ to. She needs to know that I'm not giving up on her. I never will. She's my damn destiny, for cryin' out loud, I'm not about to give up on that.

Inside, I sat on my bed. I looked her picture again. I love this picture. Why aren't there any more pictures of us? I wish I took more, listened more….focused on just her. You really don't know what you got til it's gone. Again, bullshit. I know what I had. She's everything I could ever want. Beautiful. Smart. Funny. And she gets me...inside and out. Knows everything I love and hate. Hell, she calls me out when I need it and when no one else does. And I messed it up. She's not gonna come back. I felt a hole in my chest. The same damn hole that grew last time we were apart. I can't take it. She deserves to know the truth, even if I can't tell her face to face. I picked up my phone and dialed Joe.

"Hello?"

"It's Jake-please don't hang up," I said, "I'm calling to apologize...I know you're still mad-"

"Jacob-"

"...And you should be. I am protecting her and you and Eric and that's not gonna change I just-I love her. If she's not gonna come back, will you please just tell her that?"

"You can tell her yourself."

"What?" I said, "How?"

"She's coming back tomorrow."

I swallowed. Tomorrow. Tomorrow she'd be back in La Push. Home. That hole...suddenly it got a whole lot smaller.

"She expects me to be at the airport at 3."

"Okay so then you'll be back around 4...wait…," I paused, "Why 'expects' you?"

"I'm not picking her up," he said matter-of-factly, "You are."

"I-I am?" I said, "What if she's still mad?"

"Then you need to work it out."

"I don't want her to get back on a plane…" I swallowed, "She might if she sees me."

"If you tell her what you just told me," he said, "She won't."

"Are you gonna tell her...that I'm coming?"

"Nope," he said, "Call it a surprise."

I paused. Wow. "Thank you."

"Oh and Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't mess this one up, kay kid?"

Then he hung up. Oh God. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'm going to see her again. And he's right. This is one thing I can't mess up. Kelly's coming home. She needs to know how I feel...hell how everyone feels. I texted everyone. I even called Joe back. A party. She deserves a welcome home. Besides, who the hell knows what'll happen during our car ride. Her first night back home has to be perfect and who better than her friends and family right? She needs to see the impact she has on others….Hell I'm inviting everyone. The whole damn town. Okay so I'm guiting her a little bit. But I can't let her leave again. I'd never survive. Hell, I don't even know if I will tomorrow. But for now, I don't care. The girl who stole my heart is coming home...and now I gotta figure out how to keep her here, for good.


	22. Chapter 22: Longest Car Ride of My Life

Chapter 22: Longest Car Ride of My Life

I want to puke. Well not want. Feel like I might though. I can barely focus. I stared at the clock. 10:30 A.M. It would take a little over an hour to get to Port Angeles, to the airport...less if I gun it...Like I'm gonna be able to stop myself. I've always been kinda a lead foot anyway. I'm gonna wanna get there. As soon as I can. Wait for her to come out. Hope she doesn't run the other way. But I can't leave yet. It's too early. She's probably not even on her flight yet. Well she probably is. At least at the airport right? I don't know how long it takes...a few hours? I wonder what she's thinking. Is she happy to be coming back? How's she gonna feel when she sees me?

Everyone was getting the party stuff arranged. Joe was really cool about it, even said it was a great idea. Every once in awhile I have one of those. Too bad they can't happen more often. Maybe then I wouldn't be in this damn mess. I kept checking the time. I'd swear it's been an hour but it's only been 5 minutes. 10:35 A.M. Oh man. It's gonna take forever, I just know it. I helped get tables and chairs set up. Emily and Rachel were already in the kitchen, cooking. I don't even know what all they're making. Doesn't matter really, it'll disappear in minutes with the pack. I saw Rach smack Paul's hand away a couple times from the rolls. I laughed. Everything's set. She's gonna be welcomed home all right. I just hope she's ready for it. Ready to see me. Great, now I wanna throw up again.

"You ready?" Embry asked, coming up beside me.

"I have no idea," I said, "I hope do. What if she runs the other way?"

"She won't," Quil said, "You're meant for each other. Besides, you're not the only one she's coming home to."

We saw Eric and Leah sneaking a kiss as they set out the paper plates and cups.

"Yeah I know," I said, looking back at Embry and Quil, "She'll wanna see her dad and Eric first."

Embry shook his head, "You don't think she'll want to see you?"

"I don't know," I said, "She's either gonna turn and run back into the airport, slap me then turn and run or-"

"Or maybe, she'll just be happy to see you?" Quil said.

"I'm not gonna get my hopes up."

"When are you gonna head out?" Embry asked.

I glanced at my phone. 10:45 A.M. "Not until 1:30."

"Well staring at your watch is gonna make you go crazy," Embry said, "You wanna run a perimeter?"

"We should anyway," Quil agreed, "Leech is probably watching."

"Let's go."

We ran the perimeter but nothing turned up. Nothing. Part of me was glad. I didn't want to have to deal with the leech today. But Quil's right. Bloodsucker is taking note. I can feel it. He's just waiting to make his damn move. But he'll never touch her. Not Kelly, not Eric, not Joe. He can keep his damn obsession away from her. Strong-willed...what the hell did that have to do with anything? How the hell did the leech even find her? I sighed. 12:30 P.M. Oh thank God. Only an hour and I can go. I'll have to try not to speed. Not like the rabbit is really a speed racer or anything but-it doesn't matter. All that matters is she's coming home. She did say La Push was her home. God I hope so. I just wish it could be ours. Like we could make one, together. I sighed. I should probably figure out what the hell I'm gonna say.

Finally, I headed toward home to get into the Rabbit. Everyone wished me luck. When I slid behind the wheel and turned it on, I sighed. This is it. I'm going to get her. I hopped on the 110 after hitting Forks. Great. I have about an hour to figure out what I'm gonna say. I really hope she doesn't just run. That's just the thing though, I have no clue how she'll react. It's like I told Embry and Quil, there's only 3 real scenarios I can think of. The first, she'll run back inside, hop on another plan and disappear again. The second, she'll hop in a cab and avoid me altogether and I'll get to drive home alone. Or the third, which is she'll slap me then do #1 or #2. I sighed. I gripped the wheel, feeling my heart pound with each mile I went.

I just want to see her. Memories came back. Happy ones. Like the last time we went to Port Angeles together. She was just across from me, smiling. That was a while ago. It feels like forever. I remember...she sang to me, hung out my window….so wild and carefree. Her squeezing my hand...I didn't like Lady Gaga but now I can never _not_ like that song. Before I knew it, I saw the airport coming into view. My heart started racing faster. Oh God. This is it. I got out, leaning against the Rabbit. I gulped. I checked my phone every millisecond. Thanks to the truckers I got stuck behind, I'm here on time. 3:02, 3:05, 3:10...I'm not ready. Not ready to have her run again. And this time I'd have to watch. Shit. I can't deal if she does. I'll lose the little control I have if she does. I shoved my hands in my pocket. Maybe she already spotted me...that's why it's taking so long...she ran already…

Just when I'd given up hope, I saw Kelly walk through the automatic doors. She sauntered out the door and all time stopped. There she stood, suitcase in hand, scanning the cars. Her hair...she cut it. Not that short, just to her shoulders but...damn. She looked beautiful. More beautiful, if that's even possible. Every dream I'd had since she left...damn nothing compared to seeing her again. I swallowed hard. Still perfect. Now I just had to wait for the moment when she saw me…

I didn't wait long. Our eyes locked moments later. I gulped. She's gonna run. I slowly stepped towards her, cautiously. She started coming towards me. Oh my God. She's not running. She's coming to me. Why isn't she running? Maybe she's going to slap me first...We were about arms length apart when I swallowed, then said, "Hey."

"Hey," she answered, out eyes never leaving each other.

"Don't," I said, "Don't be mad, kay?," I gulped again, "Your dad called...well I did and he...he thought it'd be better if I came...so we could talk."

There. Out in the open. Thank you Joe. I want to be here. But does she? Oh man. And then she did something that never came up in any of the scenarios I thought up. She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me.

"It's good to see you," she said as she squeezed me. I couldn't move, not right away. She's...maybe she's not mad anymore. I swallowed and relief poured over me. I squeezed her back. Her in my arms...it felt so...right. I even lifted her, twirling her slightly. Happiness, what I felt after I kissed her...it all came rushing back. The other cars honked, ruining the moment. I let her go, grabbing her bag.

Kelly didn't say anything else-neither did- like I want to risk ruining this? I have her in my car, next to me. Thankfully the growl from her stomach broke the tension.

"Hungry?" I chuckled, "We can stop somewhere...to eat."

Her cheeks reddened as I glanced over at her, "Are you," she bit her lip, "hungry too?"

"You have to ask?" I laughed, raising a brow, "I'm a wolf remember?"

All that time I couldn't think about being hungry since she's been gone disappeared.

Suddenly the very idea of food was a very good one. I'm freaking starving. Thank god Em and Rach will have more when I get back.

I stopped at Tony's Pizzeria, my smile never leaving my face for a second. We sat at a table and I couldn't stop looking at her. It felt like a dream… her sitting her with me. Much better than the dreams I've been having. She didn't talk, just played with her straw. She barely looked at me. Shit. She might still be mad.

"How was your flight?" I asked.

She shrugged. "It was okay. Wish I wouldn't have had to pay for snacks," she sighed, "That's why I'm so hungry, cuz I couldn't afford it….I wish the pizza was done already."

Before I could say anything, the waiter appeared, pizza in hand. He ignored me, smiling and leaning in a little too damn close to her. "Anything else?" he asked with a grin.

I glared at him as she said, "No thanks." She smiled, glancing down before back at me, "What?"

"Nothing," I said. Just trying to not go punch that guy in the face. "What are you waiting for, dig in."

She only ate two slices. I ate like a starving man...which, hey, was half true. Hadn't eaten a ton in about two weeks. But I did feel guilty. She had to be hungry. Mouth full of pizza, I pointed to the last two but she just shook her head, smiling. I scarfed down the rest in no time. I left a $20 dollar bill and led her out. Once we were back in the car, I just drove. The minutes ticked by and the miles flew. I could barely focus on the road. I just wanted to apologize, tell her how big of an idiot I am...tell her I'm crazy about her, just her. She glanced at me here and there. I gulped, putting my right hand palm up by the gear shift. Please. Please take it. Something. A finger even.

Kelly didn't moved. I felt gutted. Oh man. I did do damage that maybe can't be repaired. Shit.

"I missed you," I confessed. I turned my head to look at her for a second before turning back to the road. How...How can I make this right?

"I missed you too," she answered.

Relief. Maybe...maybe she does still feel _something_ for me.

"Did you...get my messages?" I asked, glancing at her again.

"Yeah," she answered, "Sorry...sorry I didn't answer I just-Well I just needed to be alone for awhile."

Of course she did. I broke her damn heart when I was just trying to-I'm so stupid. Of course she wouldn't answer. After the hell I've put her through why should she? When I glanced again, she bit her lip staring out the window. She's done with me. She just doesn't know how to say it. I blew it. My stomach sank.

"Did you-Did you have to leave completely?" I asked. I heard my own voice crack. Shit. I gotta try to hold it together. But I can't. I can't lose her. "I knew-I knew you had to be alone so I...I let you have the space you needed. But when your dad told me you left…" I gulped, reliving that moment in my mind. The flowers and chocolates dropping from my hand, "I thought...I thought you weren't ever coming back. Especially after this week. I thought...I thought I lost you…"I swallowed again, glancing at her, "I know I deserve every bit of it and I'm...I'm sorry. That's all I can say. It's not enough...but I am."

"I could never leave for good Jake," she said, "I told you, La Push is my home."

Home. It's her home. I squeezed my eyes shut for a second. At least she won't leave again.

"Honestly," she continued, "this trip has opened my eyes up to that even more. I don't want to be away from you...or anyone for that matter," she squeezed my hand, "You didn't lose me, you just had to deal without me for a little while."

Her words...I didn't lose her. Oh thank God. I swallowed. I sighed in relief before glancing over again. "Yeah I uh-I didn't do so good this time either. I could barely function," I paused, "Sam actually had to pull me off patrols for the leech cuz I...I couldn't focus. I can't help it," I looked over at her again, "I can't stop thinking about you. I wanted to apologize so bad in person...not any other way. I would've...gone anywhere, done anything you wanted if...if you gave me a chance."

"I know," she replied, "that's why I asked my dad to keep it a secret. Not just so I could think but to be safe…" she paused, "I'm still...hurt Jake."

I gripped the wheel tighter. Shit. I want to make it up to her. Hell I want to take it back. She's the one damn good thing I got and -

"...I love you Jake and it's the kind that...that throws you at first and then takes you over bit by bit until you think you've lost yourself completely…" She said, "I've never felt this way...about anyone. Not even Dan. I think us being friends has a lot to do with it because we just 'get' each other. And without you I feel...incomplete...somehow."

We both feel it. I know I do. But to hear she does. That damn pull. She's always felt it there like I always have. There's never gonna be a time we won't be drawn to each other. Magnets. We're two magnets that keep coming closer unable to resist the other.

"...so when you kissed me...it was the best moment of my life. Take any cliche from the book and that's how I felt. But then...you said her name and I just...it felt like a big joke, a joke that was one me. So I ran...and I'm not proud of it," she sighed, "Then back home-before practically assaulting me-at my parents headstones my ex said something that made me think…"

"Wait…," I said, "He did what?" I gripped the steering wheel tighter. That bastard.

"Don't worry," she said, trying to calm me. To hell with that. If he hurt her...touched her…

"...I don't wanna run anymore. Not unless it's to you. Whether you're my friend or," she paused for a second, "or something else, it doesn't matter. The truth is...I can't be without you Jake but that's part of a bigger problem…"

I gulped. What? What else could there be?

"I can't depend on you like this," she said, "It's not healthy. I need to be a better friend to everyone else…"

I glanced at the road. If I told her...maybe she'd see why. Maybe then it wouldn't seem totally unhealthy. Maybe she'd understand….hell it's kinda natural in our case…

"You're still my best friend Jake and you always will be, that's a promise," she smiled.

I met her eyes and felt it all over. I'm in love with her. Totally. Every damn piece of me wanted her. And maybe now we can be-

"So here I am," she smiled and I smiled back, "Back at home where I need to be. But...I will never be her replacement. It's important that you understand that. The only person I can be is me and that's it…"

You're not a replacement, a substitute...nothing like that. You're the only person I want in my life. Period.

"Geeze, speed much?"

I chuckled, "Kinda needed to."

Okay, not really but that whole conversation….guess I wasn't paying attention.

I glanced at her. "I have so much to tell you but," I glanced back at the road as we pulled up to her house, "It's gonna have to wait. You got a welcome home party to get to."

Damn me for having one good idea.


	23. Chapter 23: Can She Forgive Me? Guess I'

Chapter 23: Can She Forgive me? Guess I'll Find Out

"It was supposed to be a surprise," I said as we got out of the car. I sighed, "But I figured you wouldn't want more than one today."

"Shows what you know," she said, smiling and shaking her head, "I love surprises, just when they're good ones."

I started to walk her to her door. "And what was I...," I asked, glancing at her, "...a bad one?"

Our eyes met again. She smiled. "Jake," she said, "You should know by now, you're **always** a good one."

I gulped. That had to be good right? So...so maybe she does forgive me? Maybe not fully but-Oh man. I want to tell her. Now. Everything. I could just say the words. But before I had a chance, she opened the door. Her eyes widened and she gasped as she saw everyone and then she smiled. She spotted her Dad and Eric and rushed over to them. I let her, catching Rachel and Emily's gazes. Instead of the pity glances from the week before now they smiled at me. I smiled back. She's home. Here. It was finally processing through my brain. Now if I could just tell her how I felt maybe...maybe things could be better again...I looked back over where she was but she wasn't there. Where'd she go? I scanned some more. Then I saw her talking to my dad. Oh crap, what's he saying to her? Dad don't tell her anything I haven't yet...

"Hope he's not trying to steal you away," I chuckled, approaching them.

"As easy as that would be," he snorted, "I have my own."

"You wish it was easy old man," I said, as Sue came up behind him.

He only grinned at me, giving me that look. The she's-the-one-for-you-tell-her-now look. I gave him the -give-me-a-chance-to-then look back. Sue and him both smiled as they mingled into the crowd.

"What'd he say to you?" I asked as they disappeared.

"Nothing really…" she said, looking away.

Crap. Dad what'd you say? You didn't make her feel bad did you...Oh man...

"Sorry…" I apologized.

"Don't worry," she said, "I already feel guilty. I know it wasn't just me...who got hurt."

Our eyes met again. She does feel guilty...doesn't she? She didn't want to hurt me even after…I don't deserve this girl. I hurt her and she still feels bad for leaving. This isn't how it's meant to be is it? Us hurting each other? It can't be...Now if I could just find the words-

"Well, well glad to see you back," Seth said.

"Thanks," Kelly replied, smiling at him.

"So-how'd it go? Back home that is?"

"It was okay... ," she said, putting her hands in her pockets, "But it's not my home. La Push is."

"We're glad your back," Sam said, "None of us more than Jake."

She smiled, glancing back at me. the pack got her into conversation about her trip. She told about what she did there, old friends, and what ended up happening with her ex. I watched her as she spoke but noticed some things. Her hands never left her pockets. Her eyes never stayed too long on anyone and usually ended up back on the floor. What's up? Is she uncomfortable? I mean, it's just us, the pack. We're all her friends. She smiled here and there. After awhile she disappeared to the bathroom. The second she was gone, they came at me.

"So-you guys work it out?"

"Not quite," I sighed, "Only got started when we got back into town."

"Just be honest with her," Emily said.

"Tell her-everything." Rach added, "Don't leave anything out this time."

"I want to," I sighed, "Hard when she's being surrounded by people. But it's her party."

"You know" Emily said, "We won't take offense if you need to get her alone for a few minutes."

"Yeah...we can give you two some time," Rachel grinned.

"Thanks," I said, "I'm gonna go see if she's done. Maybe...maybe I can get her alone for second or two."

"Just tell her already!" Rach and Emily said together, giggling afterward.

When I got to the bathroom, the door was open. Crap. Where'd she go? I scanned around but didn't see her. Then my eyes caught on a familiar door. I went towards her bedroom, gently pushing open the door. Moonlight shone in through her big window. It shone off her hair too. God, I can't get over how beautiful she is, no matter what kind of lighting she's in. How did I never notice before? Her back faced me as she looked out the window. I approached her slowly. This was it. I finally got a moment alone. Don't blow this one, you idiot.

"Needed a breather?" I asked, shutting the door behind me.

"You could say that," she answered, glancing back at me. She met my eyes and smiled before looking back out her window, "There's just so many people...I don't know...I guess I'm just surprised at how many people like having me here."

"You're not the outsider you always claim to be," I said, crossing the room.

"I'm starting to get that," she replied.

I came up behind her. I swallowed. She's not moving. Am I making her nervous...uncomfortable? Having her so close though...I needed it. I missed her so much. Did she miss me too? She said she did but-Nevermind. I gotta do this. I slowly reached for one of her hands, gently pulling her from the window. She turned, meeting my eyes. God she's so beautiful. This is it. This is the moment. Truth time. I gotta spit it out.

"Now that we're alone," I said, glancing back at the shut door before back at her, "I wanna tell you what I didn't get the chance to in the car."

Kelly looked towards her feet, gently pushing my chest with her palms, "Jake, it's fine...you don't have to give me the speech," she sighed, "I know you'll always love her and I've accepted that I just-I can't _pretend_ to be her for you...Anyway just forget it….I'm not going anywhere. We can be what we've always been: best friends."

Where the hell did she get the idea she has to _pretend_ anything for me? No way. She does feel guilty...for loving me! For **not** being Bella! To hell with that. I don't need Bella, I need **her** , Kelly Price. She started to turn and I grabbed her hands. I dropped to my knees in front of her. "God I've messed this up so bad…" I swallowed, her eyes looking down toward me, "You're _missing_ what I'm trying to tell you Kel," I squeezed her hands, "When I kissed you, I wasn't thinking about _her_ , it was the first time I **didn't**. She was...gone and I was okay with it, You-you've been on my mind since we met. These last couple of months...even more than before," I paused, "The day that female bloodsucker was after you and you fought it...I lost it. I just **knew** I had to protect you, keep you safe no matter what. I wasn't mad at you- but myself. If I'd lost you-I'd blame are my best friend and I **have** to protect you."

Her eyes never left me and I heard her breathing pick up a tad. I swallowed. Here it goes… "Then when you said you were gonna leave...and love someone else-I broke. I couldn't let you-can't let you and not just because Drake's out there," I paused, squeezing her hands again, "I can't let you go and love someone else cuz...cuz... **I** love you Kel. I fell for you, my best friend and knowing that, when we kissed, in that split second Bella disappeared for good. I only cared about you...about us," I stood. Her eyes followed me, widening. I closed the last bit of distance between us, pulling her closer to me and leaving us practically nose to nose, "I kissed you that day wanting you, **only** you…" I swallowed hard again, "So I'll be damned if you tell me you only want to be friends now," I caressed her cheek, "Not when I know you love me still."

"You," she said, chest heaving slightly, "You love me?"

I smiled, wider than I had in a long time. "Yeah."

She started to wobble for a second but I kept her steady with my arms around her waist. "You okay?"

"Fine," she said, glancing back at me, "Better than fine. Maybe a little bit of shock."

"Let's see...if I can fix that-," I said, leaning in.

Before I could press my lips to hers, two palms pushed gently at me. Rejected. She doesn't want to kiss me….shit...she doesn't forgive me. God I'm such an idiot. Of course it's not just fixed. I stepped back. "I really…" I shook my head, "I really screwed everything up...didn't I?"

"Hey," she said, "It's not that its just-that was hard and I-I mean I've waited for you to say you love me for so long I-I don't know. This is all I want to hear but-"

"Tell me what I have to do to prove it," I begged, taking her hands back in mine. I searched her eyes, gulping, "Whatever it is, I'll do it. I'll do anything."

She stared at me for a second then said, "Will you wait a little?"

Well it wasn't never. But how little is a little? I gulped again. "That's...fair," I said, "Better...get you back out there before everyone wonders where you've been hiding."

I turned, facing the door. Gutted. Why the hell did I think she'd just forgive me? I squeezed my eyes shut a sec. At least she's here. She's not going anywhere. But damn it still hurts. I should've known everything couldn't be magically fixed by 'I love you'. Hell I didn't even tell her I imprinted. Who knows if that would even change anything. I felt a hand tug on mine. I turned back to face her. "Jake," she said, "I still feel the same about you, I swear. Don't give me the puppy dog look...please?"

I smiled, gently pulling her into my arms. We shared a gentle hug. "I'll give you all the time you need," I said, softly kissing her head, "You're worth waitin' for and..I'm not gettin' any older."

Yet. The minute she tells me she wants me...I'll stop. I want this, a life with her. Nothing more. God I just want it so bad I don't know if I can be patient. But I have to. I said I would do anything...that's my anything. She smiled up at me before opening the door. She still loves me. That was music to my ears. That I can handle. She's not gonna leave. And she does forgive me...a little bit at least. Once we were out the door, I let go of her hand. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. I could've held it forever though, it felt so good.

"There you two are," Emily smiled, glancing at me then her.

"She is the guest of honor you know," Rach elbowed me, "You can't just hog her to yourself Jake."

"Says who?" I chuckled, "It's not like I'm getting any complaints…" I said, glancing at her, "...at the moment."

"That's because you're lucky," Eric said, "Show her the picture Leah sent you."

"What picture?" Kelly asked.

I grabbed my cell, bringing up the pic of my nose after Eric hit it and then his hand after hitting me.

"What the hell?" she asked.

"When he found out you were gone he was pretty mad," I said, "He punched me without a second thought."

"You deserved it," Leah snorted.

"That's why I let him," I shot back.

"No more please," she said, glancing at Eric's hand and inspecting it. Sighing she said, "It's over now. I'm here to stay, for good."

"Don't be too mad," Eric said, "Jake still came through. I owe him my life."

She turned to me wide eyed, "Drake?"

"He was gonna hurt Eric," I said, "Or your dad to get you to come back. I-we," I said looking at the pack, "handled it."

"He's bein' modest," Eric said, "If I hadn't had Jake there…," he turned to Leah, squeezing her hand, "It was the one time we were apart since we imprinted-"

"We know."

"Still," Eric said, "Thank you."

"Yes-" Kelly said facing me, "Thank you."

"I'd never let anyone hurt you," I said, "Or your family."

He hand slid in mine, squeezing followed by a smile. Maybe I am forgiven, just a little. And that...that's worth everything right now. I may not be able to kiss her...but I can hold her hand and she wants to hold mine. If this is all I get for now I'll make it work. It's better than the nights I've been having, missing her. The pack stayed and we hung out. Her hand never left mine. I guess she actually liked having me around a little bit. After a few hours though everyone left. I followed her into her room. When she yawned I said, "You're tired."

"Not really," she shook her head, "It's just...good to be home."

"It's good to have you back," I replied.

She stepped toward me, wrapping me in a hug. I wrapped my arms around her. I didn't want to let her go...ever. It felt...right. But she needs time so…

"You should get some sleep," I said, backing away, "But we'll see each other right?...Or...do you want me to stay away?"

"You're not gonna stay?" She asked, tilting her head at me.

Damn. She can't do that. That's not fair. I can't say no...not when she looks at me like that. I ran a hand through my hair.

"Weren't you uh-" I said, trying to think, logic you know but half chuckling in the process, "Saying something about being too dependent on me earlier?"

"Yeah but-", she giggled, "This is my first day back and I...I missed you, really missed you."

I know the feeling. God do I know the feeling. She felt exactly the way I did. Knew exactly what to say to make me-

"Besides," she said, leaning back on her bed, "Don't you have to protect me...from Drake?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

She making excuses for me to stay. She doesn't want me to go but doesn't want to be too dependent on me...this is not exactly working. But what the hell? I'm not about to say no.

"Good," she smiled, "So then uh- go run a perimeter or something and I'll change."

"I've seen you," I grinned, "in your underwear before."

Like I could ever forget **that** night. She looked so amazing...that skin. The thoughts of me kissing it-

"Maybe...I'm modest," she said, cheeks reddening.

"Or," I sighed, "Just no in need of a warm body this very second."

"Stop arguing," she laughed, throwing some socks at me.

I laughed and hopped out the window. That laugh. I've missed that laugh. I missed it all and now I didn't have to anymore. She's here...home. I ran for a few minutes. No scents, no leeches...just her. When I came back she sat on her bed in her pjs: tank top and yoga pants. It was like always, only this time...this time she knew everything because I've told her everything...well except one thing. I need to, need her to know this is it, for both of us. Tell her I imprinted on her and even though I know she wants to wait that maybe...maybe then the wait time would get shorter...I gulped, looking at her as I sat down.

"I have to uh….tell you something."

"Not tonight," she whispered, leaning against me and I leaned back against the pillows, "Just be here. Let's do what we used to...just enjoy each other's company."

Of course. She's had a long day. She probably didn't even expect have of this crap to happen. "One more thing," I smiled.

Her sparkling eyes met mine. "I didn't get a chance to tell you you look beautiful," I said, "That haircut suits you."

"Thanks," she replied, cheeks red again.

Her head made its way back to my chest. It stayed there. For the first time in a long time, everything finally felt like it was going right. God I hope it stays like this. I just want things to go right. I don't even know if they can for me. This girl though...she deserves it. Deserves everything. I'm gonna find a way to give her the stars...hell the moon too. Wow now I'm sounding corny. Guess her and I really are meant to be. She really is everything I need, I just want to be everything she does. And I'm going to try to be...until my last breath.


	24. Chapter 24: Close Call, Again

Chapter 24: Close Call

After that night, I tried giving her space. _Tried_. She did spend most days without me but it's like when night came all bets were off. I don't know if it was just me having no self-control when she asked or maybe her inability to _not_ ask but I always ended up there. Right next to her. Her head on my chest. Feeling her soft breaths against me and running a hand through her hair. Protection. That's my excuse. That's all it is, an excuse. She's back in my life and I really was tryin' not to be clingy but now, having you know given in to this feeling -I can't friggin' stop wanting to be close to her. Apparently she felt the same or she wouldn't want me next to her. I have no idea how she feels really. Does she still love me? Does she still want to be with me? Part of me wonders...do I want to know? Could I handle it if she doesn't?

A good week passed. She's been at work most of it and while she's been there I've been trying to focus on Drake and gettin' that bloodsucker away from her. Nothing but silence on that end. I'm pissed about that but also relieved. Is it too much to hope the leech decided she was too much work and ran off? That's not how it is though. He's waiting somewhere and planning. But what? I'm there every night so I know he hasn't been around her but that doesn't mean he's not watching. He's a creeper after all. Creepers gonna creep.

It's driving me nuts not seeing her all the time though. Like we used to. I mean...I will see her. I see her after work and at night. Still...After finally telling her everything...well not everything. I didn't tell her I imprinted. And why the hell not? Oh right...I didn't get a chance to. I tried but she didn't want to talk any more that night she came back. I get it but at the same time I know I'll have to continue to hear it until I do. Every time my thoughts are open the pack let me have it for not telling her and I just keep saying how every time I try, something happens. Of course then they go on and on about how it should've never taken this long as...basically I just phase back at that point.

How am I gonna tell her? Not exactly just something I can throw into conversation. I don't want her to be madder than when-not after I just got her back. I finally have her back in her house and I'm allowed through the window and next to her. If she left again…I can't even think about that. I have no idea what I'd do. If two weeks broke me...what the hell would forever do?

Weeks passed and we got into a sort of routine again. I walked her home from work, protected her at night. Hell I even got invited to dinners with Joe, Eric and Leah. Which were awesome, well except for Eric and Leah. They're still as lovey-dovey as ever. It's gross but at the same damn time that's how I want to be with her. I want us to be that disgusting. For her, I'm like a lovesick damn puppy dog. Yes. I did the pun. Freakin' sue me.

Finally, June hit and I decided to surprise her at work. She did say I was always a good surprise right? Sitting there behind the desk, I watched her help the customer in front of me. She flashed that smile I loved so damn much. Girl doesn't even know how beautiful she is. Guy in front of me doesn't even know how lucky he is to get that smile. I sure as hell do and I will never take it for granted. I saw her eyes sparkle in the light, and maybe just a little bit more when they saw me.

"So," I said, leaning my elbows up on the counter, "This is what you do?"

"Yeah," she said, "Pretty much. Sit here and wait for people. Check them in and out. Nothing too spectacular."

"It's better than doing nothin' and gettin' paid nothin'," I smiled.

"You're not wrong there," she smiled, "Still it can get kinda boring from time to time."

"Is this...okay?," I glanced around, "I mean I've been walking you home and watching you at night but that's to protect you," I sighed, "I miss _actually_ seeing you and you know, hanging out. "

"It's fine," she put her hand on mine, "I miss it too."

I glanced back at her, never wanting that hand to move. We met each other's eyes for a moment before she looked away. She squeezed my hand before she pulled away.

"You uh," I gulped, "You almost done?"

Damn I want to tell her. Right here. Right now. Have her jump into my arms...I mean I hope it'll be like that and not a slap to the face with anger and tears. It's happening today. No more waiting. No more excuses. She needs to know why I never want to be without her. I hope I didn't wait too long. Though at the same time guess it'd serve me right if she was mad since I did wait...a long time. Still hoping for the happy though.

"Yeah, just like 10 minutes. I'll finish up my last duties. Meet me at our usual spot?"

"Yeah," I smiled. Standing up I headed for the door but turned back, getting one last glimpse of her before heading out. she just laughed and shook her head. As I walked down on the beach, I tried to run though how I might bring it up. This was it. I'm finally gonna tell her. Crap. How am I gonna start? So uh Kelly I uh I imprinted on you and didn't tell you because I'm a stubborn headcase who doesn't know a good thing when it runs into him-literally. Oh and sorry for the hell I put you through, though...I sighed, leaning against the giant tree trunk. I can't mess this one up. Everything is riding on this. Our happiness, our future…

10 minutes feels like a lifetime. Still, no closer to how I was going to say it. Maybe I just need to be direct. Kelly...I'm your imprint. Please never leave. She loves corny. I could try that angle. Kelly, you're the best thing I'll ever get in this life and I know because I imprinted on you when we met. Stay with me forever...I sighed again. Why am I so bad at this?

I glanced over and saw her running towards me. A lump grew in my throat. Geeze did she really miss me…? Well that's what I was thinkin' until...until I saw her eyes. Her eyes weren't sparkling. They were wide and pupils huge. She blinked and trembled. I'd recognize that anywhere. Fear.

"Hey," I said, straightening immediately my senses on edge, "You okay?"

She hugged me tight without saying a word. Then I smelled it. _Drake_.

"What happened?"I demanded.

"Drake."

"What about him?" I gritted my teeth. Idiot. You were just there. I didn't smell him then though...was obviously too wrapped up in my thoughts to smell him down here. I glanced down at her, feeling her shake slightly.

"He came in after you left," she said, still gripping my arms, "He said some BS and left but…"she swallowed, "I don't know he's just giving me the creeps. H-He doesn't even care that you were out here!"

Cocky son of a-I stopped mid thought, focus. I turned my attention to caring for the one in front of me. I gently ran my fingers on her arms to calm her.

"What'd he say?"

"He said...you're lying to me which I know is crap…"

How...how the hell does he know I haven't told her about imprinting?! He's been listening...watching us not just her. He's prepping for his move, but what is it and when?

"... and that once I find out the truth I should go find him. But he's nuts and getting crazier by the day," she swallowed, looking up at me, "Jake...you know me, I don't really get scared of anything but...he's starting to scare me...like really scare me."

I swallowed. It's my fault. He should be out of the picture. Why the hell isn't he? I'm going to get everyone...convince Sam this is top priority. I pulled her closer to me, feeling her against my chest. "It's like...it's like he'll do whatever it takes to get me and I just...I don't want anything to happen to my Dad or Eric...anyone here."

"Nothing's gonna happen," I said, gently kissing her hair, "We got this."

We better. I never want to feel this again. Her shaking against me and her face with worry lines...oh hell no. She doesn't deserve this. I should be kissing her until she's breathless not consoling her because a psycho leech is obsessed with her.

She squeezed me again before she whispered, "Take me home."

I kept an arm around her. God I'd never seen her like this. Even before we met, I've heard Emily tell me nothing got to her. She's the bravest person I'd ever seen...until today. I have to kill him. That damn leech. Damn him for making her feel like this and-

The stench...freakin' unbearable stung my nose once we came in range of her house. I ushered her through the window, running around. If he's here he's dead...The freakin' bloodsucker would pay. I hopped in through the window and clenched my fists. "He's been here."

I smelled it all around. Outside **and** inside. IN HER ROOM. He's been in her room.

"Watching me," she said, swallowing and closing her eyes, "Even with you here."

I immediately closed the distance in a couple strides, taking the spot next to her.

"Hey," I said, pushing some hair to the side, "We're gonna get him. I won't let **anything** happen to you or your family."

"I know," she answered, giving me a half-hearted smile.

I pulled her into my arms. She didn't offer any resistance, just melted against me like always. "He'll never get you," I swore, to her and to myself.

I swallowed a second. This is it. This is the perfect moment...to tell her why. Now. Tell her why she'll never have to worry about anything ever again. I can make her happy, make her smile again, make her feel safe…"I uh, I need to tell you something…"

Her eyes met mine, the sparkle still barely twinkling, "Yeah?"

"Kelly, I've been meaning to tell you-"

A knock interrupted me. Dammit. Outside, Quil stood there. I opened it quick and he said, "He's headed west- let's go!"

I hopped out, phasing as I ran. I'll tell her when we come back. After he's dead she'll have two reasons to be happy. Leech wasn't alone. Had a couple flunkies with him. They flanked him as they all ran. We ran them up and around through every inch of the woods near La Push but then they crossed into Forks.

"STOP!"

"What's up?"

"We can't cross."

"And why the hell not?! They're right there!"

"The treaty."

"BS, the Cullens aren't there."

"They are now. Bella's on summer break from college."

"Crap."

"Bastard leech knows it too."

"Know's we won't cross."

"Leech is freakin' taunting us."

I howled in frustration. This can't be happening. So close.

"We know how you feel Jake."

"How can you?"

"We all want to protect the town...our loved ones."

"She's scared...more than I've ever seen her.I'm not about to let that _thing_ come near her again-"

"We'll take care of it."

"Yeah-like always."

"So what now?"

"For tonight, they're not going anywhere. Jared and Paul will stay here, watch them. Jake and I will take the morning. The rest of you go home and rest up, this will all be over soon. I can feel it."

It will be over soon. I'm sick of it. Part of me didn't care and wanted to cross the line but Sam's alpha order really sticks. I phased back as I came close to her house. I walked up to the window and hopped in. On the bed, she already curled up into a ball. I saw the goosebumps on her forearms. It will be over soon. I slid up next to her, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close. "He'll never get you," I whispered, "I'll die before that ever happens."

I didn't sleep. Just watched as she did. I stood by the window a couple of times. Daring him to come close so I could take him. What's he waiting for? Before I knew it, the sun was coming up. Sam appeared at the window before long. I gave her a kiss on the head before I hopped out the window. We ran a sweep surrounding the house before meeting back at the window. Nothing. He's playing games and I've had it.

"How is she?" Sam said, breaking my thoughts.

"Asleep."

"You know what I mean."

"I told you already. I've never seen her like this. She's actually scared. He's getting to her which is all the more reason to take care of this once and for all."

"We will. We always do."

"It's taking too long."

"They have to be here. We can't cross the border," he paused, "We'll keep her and her family safe."

"She's my imprint Sam,-I remember the story, what happened…"

"You won't lose her Jake."

"If this were Emily you'd be feeling the same way I do."

"He's not wrong Sam. If it were Kim I'd be freaking out."

"We support you buddy."

"Thanks Embry."

"C'mon Sam, Let's try to get them. They're just bloodsuckers, they ain't too smart."

"Seth…"

"C'mon...for Kelly and for Jake...honestly do we really want to see Jake mope _again?_ "

Sam chuckled, "Worth a try. Fine, perimeter of the town. Let's go!"

We searched the town but came up with nothing. We knew they weren't there. We knew where they stayed. The line. So that's the next place we went. We scattered, seeing if any of them would dare cross it but none did. I switched back to human form for a moment, coming close to the edge of the water and looked up. That's when I saw him among his lackeys. He stepped forward, glittering in a ray of light through the trees.

"What's the matter dog?" He grinned, "Can't come over here?"

"Looks like you're the one too afraid to come this way."

"I fear nothing from you and your pack of mutts," he hissed, "You're merely a nuisance until I win her."

"You'll _never_ win her," I glared.

"And just how many more chances do you think you'll get dog?" he taunted, "She's given you one after the other. And now you can't even kill me."

"At least I get chances," I retorted, "And I _will_ kill you and your leech buddies."

"I only need one," it hissed, "And I will get it. I will change her and she will be mine. Then she'll tear you to pieces!"

"Why do you always need someone else to do it for you?" I spat, "If you really want her so damn bad, take me on. Just you and me."

"You would offer her as a prize?" he grinned, "Interesting."

"She's not a prize and can't be won in any sort of contest," I replied, "And she'll **never** be yours."

"We'll see," he hissed, "Call off you pack of mutts then. We end this. Now."

"Done."

This is it. I phased on the spot.

"Are you nuts?-"

"This is not what she'd want-"

"Don't break the treaty on our end-"

"Enough. I'm putting an end to it. Stay back but if things go bad...you know what to do."

As soon as the pack backed up, the leech stepped forward, jumping to the bottom to where I stood. "She's deserves so much better than you dog, and when I kill you, I'll show her your carcass to prove how worthless you truly are."

I dove at him but he moved. He laughed as I dove for him again. "You amuse me...and you call yourself her protector?"

This time I stopped. I growled. We circled each other. I waited for the right moment. He's cocky. He'll make a mistake...it's just a matter of when. This time he tried to come behind me. He got there for a split second and was able to shove me off into a tree. I got back on my feet and growled. "Not giving up yet are you…" the leech taunted.

But it wasn't over. This time when he lunged at me I bit his calf, tearing a piece. He hissed as I disconnected it. He hit me away again but I rolled and came running right back at him. This time I got part of his side. I lunged again but he grabbed me in a strong lock. It reminded me a lot of the fight I had to save Bella but thankfully that fight taught me how to get out of it. This time I jumped and kicked with my back legs. He let go for that split second. I lunged again, headed for the throat when a lackey stepped in his place. I got a mouth full and tore as I saw him run back across the line and up to the trees. I spat out the other as the rest of the pack came around. I got one last look at him before he disappeared into the trees.

"Aww man, you almost had him Jake!"

"Don't I know it."

"That was stupid."

"Thanks Sam."

"We'll get him in our own time-you don't need to challenge him. He could retaliate you know...on the town or her family."

"He wasn't supposed to walk away from that fight-"

"Well he did...and now we have no idea what he'll do next."

Damn. Damn and double damn. Close. So close I almost had him but...I gritted my teeth. We all filed into Emily's. Everyone found their match, Sam to Emily, Jared to Kim, Leah to Eric...I moved towards Kelly but stopped. She wanted distance...crap. Then I watched her lips curl into a smile...god it's like she knew exactly what I needed. I moved again, standing next to her.

"Did you get him?" she asked, the hope in her voice only making me feel worse.

I shook my head. Failed again. This never has happened so much….or so often. I hate this damn feeling. What kind of wolf am I if I can't protect my own imprint?

"He went past our border," Sam added, glancing at me. He's still pissed but I don't regret what I did. I'll do anything to protect her.

"What's that mean?" she asked, "I thought you could go anywhere."

"He's been...crossing into Forks," I sighed.

"So?" she said, glancing around. No idea...she has no idea? I didn't tell much about Bella but I figured they'd filled her in on that piece. Embry filled her in, glancing at me.

"Bella and Edward are back for the summer," I sighed, "They've been back for a couple weeks now. that's why Charlie hasn't been around….It's why Drake has got away."

"Oh," she answered.

Damn. the one thing I'm supposed to be good at and I can't even get rid of the damn leech because of the treaty. If only I would've landed that bite...I gritted my teeth and balled my fists. I stopped when I looked at her. God she's going to think I can't protect her. Suddenly, she squeezed my hand. Almost every bit of my anger melted away. Does she know how much power she has over me?

"Don't worry," she glanced at me and then the rest of the pack, "I'm not going anywhere. Well not yet…"

I raised a brow. She's thinking about...leaving? Again?

"I want to meet her."

It's like a truck hit me, that's how damn blindsided she got me. Why the hell would she want to meet...

"B-Bella?"

"Yeah," she chuckled, "Bella. She was a big part of your life. Besides," she shrugged, "if we visit her maybe you can sniff around in non-wolf form for Drake. That won't violate the treaty right? Not if you're going to see her?"

"No...it won't," Sam said, glancing at me again, "And it's not too bad of an idea. I hate to say it but they might be able to help. We've helped them before."

"See," she said, beaming as she looked back at me, "It all works out."

I nodded but couldn't hardly think. This was a little much. The girl I'm crazy about wants to meet the one from before? I really don't see this ending well...I mean...why does she want to? If anyone needs closure you'd think it'd be me but quite honestly...all I need is right here already. I don't need this to go how everything else has as of late...

"You ...you sure?" I gulped, "You just got back awhile ago and…"

"I'm settled in," she said, squeezing my hand again, "I'll feel better if I just...

 **know** her. It's part of your past...please?"

That's it. she just wants to know so we can close that chapter. Hell that's been long done...or is she worried that its not? Crap...I need to assure her it is. "I'll...give her call..or text.." I said, gulping as I turned.

Is this really freaking happening? Since I kissed Kelly I haven't thought about Bella once.I swear it's like she disappeared. I've focused everything on Kelly. Which makes sense you know, imprinted and all that. I glanced down at my phone, pulling up the contacts. I swallowed. What the hell am I gonna say? Hey Bells been awhile... still wanna kill your husband but hey wanna meet my new girlfriend?...

God I'm an idiot. I glanced back at her. She'd started talking to Emily, smiling and everything I loved. How the hell am I gonna do this? How can I not do it...for her? After all I've done...who am I to not do what she asks? Well no point in delaying it. I pressed the call button.

"Jake?" she answered after two rings.

"Hey Bells."

"I'm so surprised to hear from you...how are you?"

"I'm doing good," I said, glancing at Kelly, "How are you?"

"I'm doing great. College is good, really good."

I heard the leech in the background say, "You can tell him you're still alive."

"So what's up? I don't think you'd just call me out of the blue," she said, pausing a moment, "You sure everything's okay? You sound different."

"I'm fine...I uh...I met someone..else and uh...her name's Kelly. She wants to meet you. I uh...I told her I'd call and ask…"

"That's great Jake! I always wanted you to be happy too. When are you coming?"

I sighed, "When are you free?"

"How about tomorrow?"

"Sure...we can do tomorrow."

"I'm so excited. You deserve to be happy too."

"I guess we'll uh...see you then."

"Okay, by Jake. See you tomorrow!"

"See you tomorrow."

As I held my phone -I realized I worried more about the girl in the room with me now then the one on the end of the line. Maybe this is my final test, confronting my past and all that crap. I sighed. I stepped next to her.

"Well?" she said.

"We're meeting tomorrow," I answered, "She wants to meet you too."

God help me, I don't know how I'm going to make it through this one.


	25. Chapter 25: Awkward Meeting

The next day, Kelly came to my place before we headed to the garage. I still can't believe we're doing this. Approaching the Rabbit, I got a lump in my throat. Holy crap. I'm doing this aren't I...I'm gonna see her again. The first time since-since the wedding. It seems like a freakin' lifetime ago. I was different then that's before I met-

"You okay?"

I looked over the roof to see two blue eyes staring intently at me.

"Yeah…" I shrugged, looking downward, "I think."

"Hey" she said, making me meet her eyes again, "If you're changing your mind...that's fine. We don't have to go."

"No..it's fine," I sighed, "Besides, it'll be nice to get out of La Push for a bit."

We got in, shutting our doors. As we put on our seatbelts she added, "Haven't been in here since...since we went to Port Angeles."

"That was a good day," I smiled.

"It was," she smiled back at me, then at her tattoo.

Damn I love her. As nervous as I am to see Bella again...it's like when she looks at me I forget it all. Maybe this won't be so bad...I mean...my imprint wants to meet the one who crushed my heart into pieces...what could go wrong? Oh just you know...everything. At the same time, maybe she's right. Maybe this is what I need to get out of the past and move on to the future...if she wants one with me. She hasn't said anything either way. I mean...I know what I could say that might help...

I stepped on the gas as we hit the road out of down. Forks ain't too far away. Not enough time to really drop this I-totally-imprinted-on-you-and-didn't-tell-you-please-don't-hate-me thing on her...Still something else ate at me. I really don't want to screw anything else up. I glanced over to her and said, "Are you sure about this? I mean...why do you want to see her?"

Glancing back at me she replied, "I don't know really...it's like I said yesterday. She's such a big part of your past I feel like I kinda need too. Besides, maybe they've heard something about Drake..smelled him or whatever."

"Not worried it's going to be awkward?"

"Of course it is," she chuckled, "But it'll be better afterward. I know it."

"I just-" I paused, "I just don't want you to question what I said. I mean it, ya know, I-"

"I know," she smiled, leaning into the seat and looking at me, "Don't worry. I haven't forgotten what you said."

She squeezed my hand and I relaxed a little. It really didn't take long to get there. I pulled into the familiar drive with the police cruiser out front. A Volvo sat next to it. I used to hate that damn car. But now somehow today it didn't bug me as much. At all actually. Damn this imprinting stuff can really change everything. I pulled to a stop and gulped. Bella's still in there though. I glanced over at her as she looked at me. "You ready?" she asked,

"Not really," I confessed, "But what the hell. Oh-and careful whatever you're thinking. He can uh-can hear them, your thoughts. There's another one who can see the future. It's weird."

"Thanks for the heads up," she said, putting her hands in her pockets, "But you know I'm not too great at hiding what I'm thinking anyway."

"Then we're in this together," I said, "Right?"

"Right," she smiled.

We walked up towards the door and I knocked. Charlie answered, bringing us inside. Once I walked in, some memories came flooding back. Time I spent there...God when I almost kissed her in that kitchen...when I did outside and got a punch to the face. So many of them...but that's all they were now: memories. I looked at the girl beside me and she's all I could see. Her smile when she saw Charlie...I'm the luckiest guy alive.

Then I heard _her_. I gulped. I turned to see Bella. But this time...it was _different_. She's not how I remembered her. I used to be able to picture her and find everything I loved about her but as she stepped forward...nothing. Just a normal brunette with brown eyes, eyes that lit up when she saw me. She rushed over and hugged me. I did back, lightly. I can't believe it. All that time I hung onto her and an image in my head...and it's gone. I glanced over at Kelly. God I don't want to her her feel-I heard him say something to me but I wasn't really listening. I mumbled 'hi' or something, I can't even tell. I'm just in shock. When I looked back at Bella, I started to notice things...little things… that I hadn't before. Like I used to see her in like a shining light but now she was just really freaking pale...and...I don't know...I can't even describe it she's just _not_ the Bella I remember. Huh. Guess imprinting did the trick.

When the leech suggested going outside, I agreed. Bella's dad didn't need to know what we're talking about. Nice guy and all but most humans would look at us like we're crazy if we mentioned anything. We sat on the grass, looking at each other. My eyes kept drifting to her then back to Bella. I mean, there's definitely one question that needs to be asked but...she already knows. Still I tried to keep it light so I asked, "So..how was college Bells?"

Smiling she answered, "It's been great. I did surprisingly well in all my classes."

The leech glanced at me and answered, "Bella's decided to stay in college for a while yet before any…changes take place."

"Is that true?", I asked. God I hope so. I don't want the guys and I to have to tear her apart when the treaty breaks.  
Bella nodded, "I still want to be one of them Jake but I actually do like college. One more year won't hurt."

College...like Kelly wants to do. God I hope she's changed her mind...don't think anyone in the history of our tribe who's imprinted were ever separated for-The leech kept eyeing me. Shit. Of course he knows how I feel...about both of them. Yes...I'm done with Bells. Just don't hurt her, she's still my friend. And...don't Kelly what you just saw about the imprinting. I haven't told her yet and I wanna be the one to do it. Please...?

The leech only nodded before we looked back at the girls. "None taken," he replied, "You're being targeted?"  
Kelly just shrugged, "Apparently. Have you or your…family hear or seen anything? The pack hasn't been able to cross on this side."

Leech shook his head but Bella asked him, "Maybe Alice has seen something that might help?"  
Again he shook his head before turning back to Kelly and me. "We haven't seen anything. Is it just one?"  
"His name's Drake," Kelly said with a nod, "He's part of a coven. I don't know why he's obsessed with me but he is. The pack took down one of the members that tried to kidnap me a while back but otherwise nothing. He's hell-bent on changing me."

I fumed. Just thinking about that stupid-no offense, I know you can hear this. But it's frustrating. "He's still been following her," I added, "but he always crosses the line before we get him. He sticks to your side because he knows we can't cross. He's playing the waiting game."  
"And the scent's only by her house?" he asked me and stared.

Yeah. Since you can hear this, yeah it is. Don't tell her...but I did fight him one on one but he still ran. He doesn't care about sacrificing his own kind. Look in my head, you'll see it. If you know anything...please. I can't let anything happen to her. She's...well hell you can see what she means to me.

He looked at me before glancing at Kelly & Bella before stating, "You have helped us in the past Jacob. The debt I owe you for Bella's life can never fully be paid but I will check into this, if you allow me."  
I glanced to Kelly. She's everything. If they can find something-"Do it."  
"Thank you," Kelly replied before facing me, "Why don't you catch up with Bella? You two haven't seen each other in a long time and you should."

I swallowed. why the hell would she say that. She knows I-I don't want to mess anything up. I don't want her to feel-

Like she was reading my damn mind, "I'll be fine but you guys are the besties. We'll have time later. Go."

I squeezed her hand but she was going to go regardless. I cast one more look at the lee-Edward. Please...Please don't tell her. He only nodded and walked away with her. I walked her go for another sec or two before turning back to Bella.

"Guess it's just us."

"Guess so," she smiled slightly.

"It's good to see you Bells."

"You too," she said, "After the wedding...I was worried about you."

"I was too," I sighed, "But I'm fine. I swear. "Everything's different now."

"I can tell...she's nice."

"She's amazing."

"You love her, huh?"

I chuckled, "Am I that obvious?"

"A little, which is good because Edward wasn't really excited for this-you know us hanging out."

"Of course not," I replied, "Can't blame him."

"Who is she?" she said, "I don't think I've ever seen her before."

"She uh-she just moved to La Push after the...the wedding."

"Wow," she said, "I guess I'm just surprised you love her...even feel like that way about someone else- I mean you told me-"

"She's my imprint, Bells."

"It happened?"

"Yeah, it did."

"So everything you told me...about imprinting…"

"Was true," I glanced at her, "With her it's-it's more than love. She's my world. I'd give anything-be anything she needs."

She smiled, "I'm glad. I was worried about that...about you finding someone."

"It took awhile...actually it didn't," I chuckled, "I met her and found her yeah but...we've only just started really _being_ together."

"Why the hold up?" she asked then stopped, "Oh."

She paused a sec then added, "But I thought you said when you imprinted everything sort of fell away…"

"Most of the time," I sighed, "But I still loved you Bells and I couldn't let you go right away. "

"She's a lucky girl, Jake," she smiled.

"I'm the lucky guy," I said, pausing a sec, "Bells…"

"What?"

"I need to tell you something…" I paused, "Look don't get mad, kay'? I just...It was hard to get over you but I did. And while I was getting over you... I put her through hell in the process. So we can stay friends...but that's all you'll ever be to me now. A friend. And this time...I hope we can do it better," I paused, sighing, "You hurt me Bella, in more than one way. Sure you picked him and that sucked but...you also kinda led me on there and only used me to make yourself feel better. I was so in love with you I just let it happen but now...now I just hope we can do better. And...you need to know if they ever break the treaty I have to-"

"I know," she sighed, "And I'm sorry. I'm sorry I put you through that. I guess both of us made some mistakes."

"Yeah," I said, sighing. I paused and second then asked, "Do you know yet...when?"

"Not really," she sighed and shrugged, "I want to be with him. Forever. But college has actually been fun. So maybe it's not as big of a rush as it was."

"You don't have to Bells, I mean," I glanced over seeing Kelly and Edward in the distance, "Even one life is better than none at all."

She followed my eyes, "You're going to do it aren't you? You're going to stop phasing and live a normal life?"

"Eventually," I said, turning to face her, "First she's gotta accept me."

"She will," she said, hugging me, "I'm glad we did this...you know...talked."

"Yeah," I said, "I guess...I guess we needed to."

Once he appeared closer, Bella immediately went to his side. As Kelly approached mine, we smiled at each other. I got caught in those baby blues again before he cleared his throat. He looked at me and said, "I'll check out her house tonight. Be sure to let Sam know and the rest of the pack. I'd prefer not to be mauled."  
I nodded, all of us saying our goodbyes. I gave Bella one more hug but honestly...I didn't feel anything. All I feel is worried about what the leech said to her. Hell I wonder what she even said to him. I never want to be like them but damn if I didn't wish I could know what he heard. She does show a lot on her face but right now-nothin'. As we got into the Rabbit, we didn't talk right away and it was killin' me. Once we had our seatbelts on, I hit the gas. As we drove she asked, "So how'd it go? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable I just figured you should probably get some closure."

"It went good, surprisingly," I confessed, "It didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would. I guess I am over her after all," I flashed a smile at her, catching her eyes before looking back at the road, "I think a lot of that is just because of you."

Hell, I know it's because of her. I said things...things I've meant to say to Bells forever and now...it's like a damn weights been lifted. And I couldn't have done it without her.  
"I'm sure I helped but I didn't do everything," she grinned, glancing out the window.  
"And how was your walk with the leech?"  
She chuckled, "Interesting to say the least. The thought reading gets kind of annoying."  
I laughed. She has no idea. Although it could be useful from time to time…

"Agreed."  
"But I'm glad we went," she stated, "It was nice to meet her. I could tell how great of friends you were but I have to say it doesn't seem like you are so much anymore."  
"Yeah" I answered, "I think a lot of that is just everything that's happened. And since she's been away I just haven't thought about her as much. I mean, I meant what I said, since I've known you it's like everything's different. We're still friends and just normal friends at that, not best friends," I looked over at her and smiled, "That's just us."  
"You wanna know a secret?" she said with a grin.  
"I thought I knew them all…," I said, raising a brow as I pulled into her driveway, "Do you have any secrets left to tell?"  
"Just one," she smiled, our eyes meeting.  
I glanced at her as I stopped. I gulped. What the hell could it be? Oh no...she's gonna say that it can't work...she's going to college far away...but wait. She's smiling. Maybe she's changed her mind? Maybe…? The anticipation was killing me. After a few moments I said, "Well?"  
Then she did the damn thing I love...she bit her lip and smiled before she said, "I think I might be ready…soon."  
"For…" I began as she tilted her head at me. What is she talking about...ready to...HOLY SHIT. I opened my eyes wider than I'd ever done, "Us? Y-you want to…?"  
"Give me tomorrow," She said and smiled, "And I'll give you my answer. Okay?"

"Okay…"

Kelly squeezed my hand and opened the door. I watched her go...stunned. Me...she wants to be with me. Today didn't screw anything up. Did the leech tell her? Is that why-WHO THE HELL CARES?! She wants to be together. Well almost. I have to wait for her answer. Finally. I can tell her the truth...the whole damn truth and finally...finally everything thing will work out. Yet there's this tiny voice in my head that's telling me something will go wrong. But I can't listen not today. Not with what she just said. I got out of my car, leaning against it for a second. I laughed out loud in disbelief. Is this really happening?

I smiled then went around to the window. She was already on her bed when I sat beside her. As she went to sleep, I just kept one arm around her and her head stayed on my chest. Tomorrow. Tomorrow she'll have an answer...God I hope she'll be mine. I'll do anything to make sure she does. Bella...hell after today...I don't think I love her anymore. Did I ever really? Or was it just because she was the only thing I knew? No idea. All I know, is I will never let that leech lay on hand on the treasure I got next to me. Kelly...I'll do anything for her. Even wait. Until tomorrow. Even if the waiting kills me.


	26. Chapter 26:The Truth Comes Out,All of It

Chapter 26: The Truth Comes Out-All of It

I can't believe it. How the hell did we get here? Sam, Embry, Quil and Eric stood next to me, all in our tuxes. I was fidgeting because-well that doesn't matter. What the hell am I talking about-look at _her_. She's standing there, looking freakin' amazing in that dress. That white poofy dress that makes her look like a princess. She even has the damn tiara. Some of her curls flowed around her face, the rest tied up behind with a veil hanging down. I gulped. Kelly...God I don't deserve this. I feel a lump in my throat grow as she starts walking towards me, slowly, bouquet in one hand and arm and arm with Joe. This is it. We're going to be together...her and me...you know, the rest of our lives. She's gonna say yes _to me_. This is crazy. Are we actually doing this? And here I made fun of Bells for gettin' married so young...But when I look at her I know this is right. Damn I'm nervous...step, step….I feel Embry put a hand on my shoulder.

"Dude, relax," he says.

"Easy for you to say," I replied, glancing momentarily at him, "The woman of your damn dreams isn't walk up that aisle looking so damn beautiful-"

"Enough with the mush," he said, making a gagging noise.

I gave him a shove, turning back to her.

"You'll be fine Jake," Sam reassured, "Just breathe."

"At least you know what I'm feelin'," I glanced over, "You've been where I'm standing."

"I do," he smiled, glancing over at Emily.

Before I knew it, there they were, in front of me. Joe passed her hands into mine, smiling.

"Take care of her kiddo," he said, "You have to protect and cherish her always."

"Yes, sir," I answered as her face lit up.

"You look so good," she grinned, "You shine up good."

"So do you," I grinned back.

"Jake...I-" Suddenly, she stopped talking, her eyes widened and she put a hand on her neck. When she pulled it away, blood dripped from her fingers onto the white dress. Her eyes rose back to meet mine, confused, "Jake…?"

"Kelly?", " I said, reaching for her, "Kelly!"

Drake appeared from behind, staring straight at me, "I told you, dog, she's _mine_."

Without another word, he disappeared, Kelly in his arms. She didn't scream-not a peep. I knew I should move-follow-grab her but I couldn't. I stood there stunned.

"No!" I screamed, trying to force myself to take action.

That's when I realized I was dreaming. I jerked awake, sitting up. Shit that was too real. Not just...you know.. the _wedding_ but...I gotta end that bloodsucker once and for all. I can't let her down again. I need to make sure she will _always_ be with me. I turned, about to tell her sorry for the wake-up call only to find a note in place of the girl that was there when I'd closed my eyes for two seconds last night.

 _Jake-I went to Leah's. I'll be back before you wake up probably. -K_

Well clearly **not.** That dream...God don't be real. I gulped. Shit. She can't have left when she _knows_ he's out there...waiting...watching...I hopped out the window, phasing in an instant. I ran around her house-no smell of the leech thank god-but also no Kelly. None of the others were wolfed out, I didn't hear any thoughts anywhere. Doesn't matter, I've gotta know that she's safe. I ran up to Leah's house. Still no leech smell. I phased back, knocking on the door.

"She's not here," she said, opening the door a crack, "She left a few minutes ago."

"You let her go, by _herself_ , when you know that leech is after her?"

"She said she was fine," Leah spat back at me, "Why don't you go back so she's not alone at _her house_ where it always follows her?"

I turned around, not waiting for the door slam. I stayed in human form, hopping back into the window. Still, no one...What the hell? This girl is going to be the life **and** death of me if she keeps-the door opened. When she walked in, my shoulders relaxed, tension suddenly gone. I closed the distance instantly, scooping her up in my arms, squeezing her. She's alive. She's safe. And she's so damn dead for worrying me.

Kelly laughed as she said, "I just went out for a little bit. I'm don't have to check me over."

"Drake's still out there," I answered, keeping her still close enough to me, "He's already got to you _once_ when I've been around and you think you'll be fine for a stroll...I literally almost had a heart attack…"

"But I'm here and fine," she said, "I left you a note."

"Still," I sighed, "I thought we agreed-"

"We did," she said, slumping her shoulders. She glanced at me then stepped over to her dresser, putting a hand on it, "But I just...I had to see Leah. I didn't _plan_ it. I just needed to talk to her, you know...face to face."

She scared me half to death to talk to Leah. Leah?! Of all the damn people in this town-

"About what exactly?" I asked, stepping forward.

"I've just been thinking lately," she replied, glancing back at me, "I told you last night. I want to...I want to give us a shot but...I'm scared."

She put her eyes to the floor and I gulped.

"Of-Of…" I swallowed again, "Me...me hurting you…" this time my shoulders slumped, "...again?"

Immediately, her eyes came back to mine. She stepped closer to me. "No!," she squeezed my hand then back up, biting her lip, "Well yeah...a little...but not _intentionally_. I know you won't do that. It's just…"

"What?" I said, "It's just what?"

My heart sunk. I messed it all up. Clearly. She wouldn't be so torn apart if I hadn't. Shit. All I want to do is make her happy and I can't because I was an idiot. A lot. I gotta be the first wolf in history to mess it up with their imprint...I mean, she's my damn _destiny_ , who does that? Oh right. Me.

"It's...well you always say imprinting is _supposed_ to be a rarity and you don't know why everyone's imprinting and…" she sighed, "I guess I just thought maybe if I knew how Leah coped when Sam did...that when and if you do I might...I might be able to _semi_ handle it."

Again, relief. That's what this is about? I wanted to laugh but then not at the same time because it was funny. Because all this worry and fear she had was so...so...un-freaking-necessary. And all because I never had a chance to tell her. She is my destiny...my everything. Guess now's as good a time as any.

I stepped forward, wrapping my arms around her. "You don't have to worry about that," I said, kissing her hair gently, "I'm not going _anywhere_ , not if you give me a chance. I will never hurt you again. I swear."

"You say that, but you can't know," she shook her head, "She could be out there just walking around oblivious right now. Fate's going to bring her here and when it does…" she turned away from me for a second, "I'm gonna be the one that's crushed."

"It's not gonna happen," I said, grabbing her hand. I turned her to face me.

"You can tell me that all you want," she said, meeting my gaze, "But you don't know that….And if we're together I…" she paused, "I _can't_ lose you. I don't want to. It would...it would crush me."

I pulled her closer but she put her hands against my chest, holding me back.

"Kel, I swear, I'm never gonna find anyone else but you," I held her gaze, "Never. Believe me."

She pushed away from me. Holy crap. Did I really screw this up? Why won't she believe me...I mean I haven't come out and said it…

"You can't guarantee it!" she cried out, her eyes getting glossy, "And as much as I want to be able to make it through...what if I can't? You see the guilt Sam still has even though it's less now. You'll feel guilty...but still not able to help yourself. And then I'll feel like the jerk when really it's my own damn fault," her eyes turned glossy even with the angry words, "Like I said, you-you can't guarantee it!"

"Yes I can!" I gritted out, staring at her.

Damn if she's gonna tell me this isn't meant to be-that I don't feel the way I do-that we're-

"How?" she replied, eyes widened. Her hands slightly shook.

"Because I already did!," I shouted back.

Relief. There it is. It's out there. Now I just needed to know how she'd take it-

Her mouth dropped open. Her shoulders slumped back, defeated.

"W-When?" she asked, "W-who?"

How can she not know? It's pretty obvious...isn't it? I mean, the way I look at her...

I held her gaze. When I stepped towards her, this time I steadied her-I swear she was about to fall-holding just her forearms. "You'" I said, "I imprinted on _you_."

Finally. I came clean. But she still doesn't believe me. She shook her head furiously. Dammit. Why doesn't she believe me?

"No-no-no...You couldn't have," she said, "Since the moment we met you...you only loved Bella. You only just told me you loved me a **month** ago…That and I saw it happened with Leah. It was instantaneous, like-like-like lighting striking. That never happened with us! And-And if it did it would've happened when we first-"

"Met," I finished. Her blue eyes, I swear were staring through me. But I had to tell her the truth...show her she's it for me. But how? And just like that, that night came flooding back into my mind. Every second vividly in my mind as I said, "It did. It happened that night I came from Bella's wedding. I was so-so mad and I fought it every step of the way. And it was a fight. That night...seeing you, **everything** changed."

I rubbed her arms as I went on, "It was like...my whole damn world shifted. I had no idea who you were but suddenly I just _needed_ you in my life. I was ready to run again, so angry with everything that happened but you...you made me smile. Something...something I couldn't even remember doing in a _long_ time. I …" I paused, looking down for a brief second, "I couldn't handle it. I didn't want it to be true I...but the minute you whipped around and looked at me, I was a goner."

"You weren't just...surprised?" she asked, "That's what you told me."

"I really didn't think you'd go for that excuse," I chuckled, "Nope. That was me, getting struck by lighting…." I paused, "But I didn't really want it then. I wanted Bella so much I...couldn't let her go so I ignored it...as best I could. Buried it as far as I could but I couldn't do it all. And I couldn't just _ignore_ you. What did you do wrong? Nothing. Besides, just because I wasn't ready to ask you out doesn't mean we couldn't be friends so when you suggested it I jumped on it," I smiled, "And it was a breeze, being friends with you. We have so much in common...It was perfect."

"Until I told you I loved you," she sighed, looking away.

"That… complicated things," I answered, sighing, "I thought that couple weeks apart would help, let you really have a choice…," I paused, bringing her face to look at me again, "Kel...I never wanted to force you to like me...love me even. And you seemed fine for those two weeks but me…" I gulped, remembering, "I barely made it. I couldn't stand not laughing with you and spending time with you. I remember thinking how bad I wanted back everything I'd gotten used to with you. That's when I started to realize Bella was slipping away and then that I…" I paused, taking in her whole face, "I'd gone and did what I tried not to do: I fell for you."  
"I thought you fell for me after I said I was going to go to college?" she said, raising an eyebrow.  
"Yeah I did," I sighed, "That's when I finally stopped resisting you...and then..well you know... I royally screwed it up. All of it and I'm sorry," I paused a second, "I really am. I'm not perfect Kel-I hope you can accept that part."  
"I'm not perfect either," she answered, "Far from it," she paused, letting a few moments tick by. Finally she said, "Why didn't you just...tell me?"  
"I've been trying to tell you since you got back, I swear," I said, "But either you never let me or something happened that I couldn't. It's been driving me nuts. I...just wanted to know."  
"What about even before that?" she asked, "We could've saved so much pain and suffering if you'd just said it earlier."

Yeah, that would've been an idea.  
"I know but...You know how I felt about it," I replied, "There needed to be a choice. I couldn't just let you-"  
"But you already _knew_ what I chose," she argued.  
"But I wanted a choice too," I sighed. I let her arms go, backing up and sitting on the bed. I glanced at her, my elbows on my knees. "You-You don't know what it's been like hearing nonstop how perfect we are for each other from _everyone_ and ...and knowing it's true because it's in your blood…" I paused a second, looking downward, "...but at the same time….at the same time wishing that it was _your_ choice that mattered. Because maybe...maybe you wanted to have the chance to choose too."  
"Is it so…bad?," she asked, "Loving me?"

I glanced up and she frowned slightly. Dammit. I'm doing it again. Making her feel bad. When all I want to do is the opposite….

"That's not it," I said, taking her hand and pulling her closer to me, "I didn't want to just love you just because my blood told me too. I wanted the chance to have it happen naturally, if it would. And when it did I just…It was the best thing to ever happen to me. I swear I will **never** ever hurt you again. I can't. My blood **and** my heart...they won't let me."  
"Jake...," she started to say, pulling away.

Great. I blew it. **AGAIN**. This moment, which should've been her jumping into my arms and- How can I be so stupid? All that pain I put her through. there's a price. Now I have to pay it. I wish I could take it back a million times over but-she stopped talking. What the hell? Suddenly she pulled my hand until I stood again. Then she jumped up, wrapping her arms around my neck before pressing our lips together. She's kissing me. SHE'S KISSING ME. Maybe I didn't screw it _all_ up after all...I lifted her easily, feeling her legs wrap around my waist and I returned everything she was giving. I was on fire. All over. _More than_ my normal heat. This time the temp was freakin' exploding. I felt the goosebumps on her arms and grinned. I'm about to show her how this is going down. And then she went and pushed her tongue into my mouth and hell if I was going to stop that. We mashed together, everything I'd pent up finally happening. I didn't hold back...neither did she. She pulled back momentarily and inhaled, but then our eyes met. Both of us grinned before it started again. I leaned and fell back on the bed, pulling her on top of me. She ran a hand through my hair while her other one roamed across my chest. It felt freakin' amazing. I groaned. God I can't believe this is happening. I slid my hands up her back before coming back to rest on her hips. She smiled as we paused again, rolling off of me. Cheeks a little pink, she glanced at me and said, "I think that was better than our first."

Think? Try KNOW.  
I chuckled, "Way better."  
She glanced over at me and laughed looking back at the ceiling.  
"What?"  
"Nothing," she said, "It's just…I remember telling you how I had partly wished I could know who I was meant to be with and deep down I always hoped it was you."

Well if that doesn't boost that ego…

"Now that I know it is I'm just…so happy," She looked over at me then added, "I've kinda been punishing myself since my parents died and I didn't think I could be like this again. But here, I have you, I have Eric and a Dad, friends and I don't know I'm just…I can't believe I have it all again."  
"You deserve it," I said, letting her curl up closer to me. Hell she deserved everything and somehow I'm going to give it to her. For everything...Then a thought occurred to me. We were silence a moment or two before I asked, "So you're happy, even though Drake was right about me not being _completely_ honest?"  
"I don't care," she said, looking at me, "He could say whatever but all I care about is you."  
I grinned, pushing her hair off my shoulder. she's so damn beautiful. Makes me think-well maybe I should just tell... I added in almost a whisper, "Do you want to know what it was like kissing you that first time?"

She bit her lip and shivered. Damn I love it when she does that.

"I can barely even describe how you made me feel," I went on, "I'm already at a high temperature but I could've swore that day I got even _hotter_ and would explode at any given second. When I wrapped my arms around you, you fit perfectly into them and it only got better from there. Remember?"  
Her eyes closed temporarily, listening to everything I said. Opening them again she smiled wider and answered, "I couldn't forget it if I wanted to...and thankfully I never will."  
This time when I kissed her...it was soft and gentle. If she can't tell exactly how I feel about her now….. When we pulled away, I looked at her and said, "Nayeli."  
"What's that mean?" Kelly asked.  
Entwining our fingers together I answered, "It means I love you, in Quileute."  
"I feel like I've heard it before."  
"You have."  
"When?"

"I whispered it in your ear," I smiled, "The night before we went to Third Beach."  
Her eyes widened as the realization hit her. She grinned, "You really have loved me since then haven't you?"  
"Yeah," I replied.  
"Can we just, stay in today?" she said, "I just want to enjoy this now that you're my…well…you know."  
"Boyfriend?"  
"Do you want to label this?" she asked timidly.

Like that's even a question.  
"Damn right," I said and covered her mouth with mine. This time I didn't hold it back. Nothing else mattered. Just her. And me. Us. Finally.


	27. Chapter 27: We Go All the WayAlmost

Chapter 27: We Go All the Way...Almost

I can't believe it. I looked down at the girl in my arms and sighed a breath of relief. It's real. It's happening. She knows the truth...all of it. Nothing left. This is it. I can finally be... _happy_. Right? That's what normally comes after this moment and man I hope I can. It's been so long since I even thought about being happy-Her eyes met mine and her lips curled into a smile. I smiled back, pushing part of her hair back out of her face. I took it all in, grinning from ear to ear.

"What?," she asked, "You're staring at me…"

I just kept looking at her. She's so damn beautiful. And sexy. And _mine._

She grinned back, "Do I have something on my face?"

"No," I chuckled, "But I think-" I trailed a finger down her face, "I think I might still be in shock."

"I know what you mean," she said, leaning up and pressing her lips against mine. The minute I felt it I responded, damn it's the most amazing thing. It wasn't full of all the pent up energy this time but more...well slow. Soft...but it still felt like fire. Not exactly like before just...less inferno more of a _slow_ burn. Like I'm a damn candle. And I felt more heat building regardless...damn how does she do that? I swear each time it gets better. I never know what to expect...and I love every second. I held her face in my hands, opening my eyes for a sec for a glimpse of her before I went in again. I can't get enough of her. I'll never get enough. There's nothing better than this. Why they hell did I _ever_ wait so damn long? Right. I'm an idiot.

But not anymore. I'll never make any more stupid mistakes like that again. When we finally pulled apart, both of us chuckled. She gently turned, glancing back at me.

"You think we'll ever get used to this?" she said, her cheeks slightly reddening.

"I have no idea," I confessed, a smile appearing on my face, "But I never wanna stop."

"Me either," she smiled back at me, "It all feels like a dream…" she ran her hands up my chest, "...a wonderful dream."

I groaned slightly. Again with the slight torture.

"What'd I do?"

I took her hand, slowly moving it away.

"Just some teasing. Nothing I can't handle," I answered as she lay back slightly. She blinked a bit and her head tilted slightly before jerking back up. I smiled as I saw her eyes drooping.

"You're tired," I said, "You can go to sleep. I'm not goin' anywhere."

"But-But," she sighed, "I don't want to miss any more moments like this..I ..I don't want to wake up and all this will just ...stop."

I pulled her close to my side, her body curled up against mine. We both lay on our sides looking at each other. "You won't," I said, "It's not a dream. This is real. It's us. We can be happy. I promise," I paused a sec then added, "You know….you know I'll do _anything_ to make you happy...right?"

"I know," she answered, looking at me, "It's like I said I...I can't believe I-well we _can_ be."

"Me too," I sighed, "I didn't think I knew how to be anymore."

"Aren't we gettin' a little corny?" she grinned, "I feel like when the pack hears this in your head…"

"I don't really give a damn what they think right now," I confessed, "I only care about you. Us," I said, entwining our fingers, "Now."

I watched her eyelids grow heavier. "Sleep," I whispered, "I'll be here when you wake up."

"O-kay," she sighed, "If you insist. It's just I woke up kinda early so a nap doesn't sound too bad. But... only if you stay right here."

"I can't move huh?" I raised a brow, "I'm a statue then?"

"Well you can _move_ ," she smiled, "Just not too far away."

"Never."

Kelly closed her eyes, her chest heaving slower within minutes. Of course she's tired. I get it. A lot is going on. First, she's thinking I'm gonna imprint so she talks to Leah **and then** finds out _she's_ my imprint...and that kiss. THAT KISS. It would be enough to make anyone take a nap-that's how much it took outta both of us. Me? I couldn't though. Who the hell could be tired at a time like this? I finally have exactly what I need-not need-well actually yes _need_ but also want...it's better than anything I've ever felt. It's nothing like with-Wow. I never thought it could be like this. I glanced down at her after I lay back on the pillow. Even asleep, she smiled that little half smile...God she's beautiful. Especially when her hair curls like that around her face and she smiles like that. And she loves _me._ Even if I am a huge freakin' headcase….maybe we are meant to be. She's changed me in so many ways. Have I changed her? And finally, _finally_ , we're together...officially. I meant what I said. I'm in shock. I don't even know how to be happy...at least I haven't known the feeling in forever but with her…with her I actually can.

I sat up, looking out the window. I could see the outline of the trees, hear the rustling of the wind. Drake's still out there though. Freakin' leech. What is it about leeches havin' a thing for the girls I love? At least with Bells it was just revenge but this creep...he wants to _turn_ her. Have her in his damn coven...I can't even think about it. It makes me want to-Distraction. I need a distraction. I glanced back over at her. She's so..peaceful. I want to give her so much...you know my life, everything...But I want to do...you know... _more_. Suddenly, my phone went off, bringing me out of my head. I caught it before it woke her. I carefully slipped out of the bed, slowly to not wake her.

"Hello?"

"Jacob," said the voice on the other line. I couldn't mistake it, "Yes it me."

Okay..kinda weird he's calling me-

"I couldn't agree more."

It's annoying when you do that. I stepped outside the door, still keeping her within sight. What do you want?

"Thought you'd like an update."

Leech?

"Yes. He's been on our land like you said. We came face to face with him last night."

What exactly happened? You know I didn't mean for you to take care of it-We can handle this. The only reason it's an issue is because he's on _your_ land.

"We don't doubt that. It happened by accident. I went to go see if I could hear their plans but one of them caught scent of the rest of us. Carlisle offered a gentle warning that they're trespassing."

Bet that went over well. I rolled my eyes.

"As well as you think. They attacked but we are all accounted for. They're not on our land anymore," he paused, "It's not over. It's very clear he won't stop until he gets her. She's a prize."

I clenched my fists. I don't even know why he wants her so damn bad-

"I found out _that_ as a matter of fact."

Oh really? And what exactly is it?

"He saw her, Port Angeles I believe? She was able to fend off some drunks who later became their-well you know. He liked her...strength, her fire. He's convinced she's be a perfect candidate to lead their coven, once turned of course."

What the hell is a coven?

"Like your pack, just of our kind."

Figured you run together. How many in their coven?

"They have about 10...well 6. They've lost two to you and the pack, two to us."

Thank you. I know I don't really say that but- I know this is only because of-

"Jacob," he paused, "I never thanked you for all you did to protect Bella. Let myself and my family do this. You've helped us. It's our turn."

What about the one of you who can see the future-

"Alice hasn't seen their moves yet."

Anyone ever tell you it's annoying to answer before the question is done bein' asked?

"Not as of late, but yes," he chuckled, "I will keep you updated if we learn more."

I hung up the call and walked back into her room. She was glancing at me, eyes still a little heavy.

"Thought you left for a second there...you know...after you promised to stay close," she said, a crooked grin on her face. Seeing the phone her eyes widened, "Who was that?"

"Edward."

"No wonder it was so one-sided," she said, leaning back, "Isn't it annoying to not keep your thoughts around him?"

"You're telling me."

"Though I wouldn't mind seeing in yours from time to time."

"No need," I said, laying next to her, "I'm all open book. Anything you want to know. I'm your imprint...I'll tell you anything."

"I'll keep that in mind," she smiled, "Anything new?"

"Just more of the same."

She sighed, "Figures. I don't even know why he wants me so much…"

"Speaking of," I added, "I do. He said you fended off some drunks in Port Angeles?"

"Oh," she said, tilting her head, "I just told them off but-"

"Why do you always have to play the hero?"

"I'm not-"

"Aren't you?" I raised a brow.

"Fine, maybe I have a thing...I'll try not to," she sighed, "Even if I did...why would that matter?"

"Apparently that makes you leech leader material."

She shook her head, looking away. I felt her shiver as she looked back at me.

"Hey," I said, meeting her gaze, "We'll get him," I paused, "By the way...I have something to ask."

"Yeah?"

"Do you think we could tell my dad, you know, about us, ...first?"

"Of course," she smiled, entwining our fingers, "But do you think today...can _we_ just know...before we tell anyone else?"

"Might be hard if I have to wolf out…"

"Then don't," she said, "Please? I just...I want it to be just us."

"I know what you mean," I leaned in, pressing my lips to hers. Sparks and all that corny crap. Great, now I'm a freakin' sap. But she makes me like that. And I'm not even sorry. After a few moments I said, "Are we just gonna make out all day?"

I mean...the way she kisses...I could. I couldn't stop.

"You complaining?" she smiled, "I actually _like_ kissing you."

"Just like huh?"

"Maybe," she chuckled, "I'd love it...if you did again."

I didn't hesitate again. Damn she knows what to say...too well. And hey...who am I to not give her what she wants?

After a day full of movies and chill time (not to mention the making out, hell we've waited long enough right?) we decided to tell everyone else the next day. Luckily nothing on the leech end so we actually got lots of time. I couldn't have been happier. Her either, I swear it. So when I led her into my house, her hand in mine, I knew that no matter what, everything was gonna work out. Dad's eyes lit up when we came around the corner.

"Been awhile since I've seen you two here."

"That's my fault," she blushed.

"Don't worry kid, I like that you two are spending time together."

"I don't want to take up all his time though," she said, glancing at me, "I know you two are close too."

Dad glanced at me then her, "So are you two...and that's a good thing."

"We are," she smiled, glancing at us, "Hold that thought. Excuse me one moment, need the little girls room."

She disappeared down the hall. I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

"Glad to see you finally see what's in front of ya."

I turned back to face him. "I told her Dad," I said, "All of it."

"Looks like she took it well."

"We wanted to tell you first."

"I'm honored," he grinned, "It's 'bout damn time kid. Thought you were going to take forever."

"Thanks," I laughed, "No more waiting. But…" I glanced at the hall then to him, "I wanna do something for her...you know, to make up for all the crap I put her through to get here...I just don't know what."

"You already do tons of things for her."

"I know, I just...I don't know want something to give her you know?" I paused, "Not a ring...yet."

Dad guffawed, "Thank you. I already have to deal with Paul. I'm sure he'll be asking Rachel too soon," he paused, "You know...you could always carve her something."

"I already did that," I sighed, "...for Bella. I want this to be _different_ ,"

"It still can be," he said, "Cater it toward her. Make it something she'll love. I'm sure no matter what you do, she'll love it."

"That's helpful."

"I'm the helping kind."

"What will I love?" Kelly asked, rejoining us.

"Hopefully this kid for a long time," Dad said, glancing at me, "I know it's hard sometimes."

"No worries there," she smiled and chuckled, "I just can't believe we're..you know...meant to be. Never thought someone would imprint on _me_."

"Quileute's for ya."

We stood in silence for a second before she turned to dad and said, "You know, now that we know eventually we'll be family...maybe we should all get together for dinner sometime."

"Do we have to invite Paul?" I groaned. He's going to eat everything so it's more like Paul's dinner and we just show up.

"Oh shut up," she said, slapping my arm then turning to my dad, "What do you think?"

"Just tell me time and place."

"Okay," I said, "Well now that there's an awkward dinner planned...we should go tell everyone else."

"Okay," she said, glancing back to dad, "I'm sorry I've been taking up all his time. He's my protector though. You don't mind do you?"

"Don't you worry about it," he said, "You're both happy. That's all I need to hear. Now get outta here. I'm going to try to eat what's left _before_ Paul comes back...and before Sue scolds me about it not being the healthiest."

We laughed and headed back out the door.

"You sure you really want to have dinner with _all_ of us?"

"I am," she said, "Do you not want to?"

"No...it sounds great."

I sighed. It didn't. A room with Paul, Rachel, my dad, Sue and us….

"Jake…"

"Okay...it's just...it's gonna be weird...don't ya think?"

"Maybe a little," she sighed, "But maybe it'll be nice."

"With you there," I said, picking her up, "It'll be perfect."

Our lips met again. I couldn't get enough of kissing her. Every second was like freaking magic with her. Part of me just wanted to have one more day just us like the day before but we did need to tell everyone else. But part of me gets why she wanted to keep it a secret. It felt... _good_. But at the same time, we owe it to them. At least this time I won't get hateful glances from the last time I spilled news about us. Plus side there. As we walked up to Emily's, I stopped just outside.

"You okay?", she asked me, raising a brow.

"I will be in one second…" I said before I gently pushed her against the side of the house. She wrapped her arms around me as we snuck in one more kiss. It lasted just seconds but damn if I didn't enjoy every bit of it. I swear this girl is an addiction and I'm a junkie. No shame either. None whatsoever.

We both chuckled as we walked inside, the whole gang glanced up. First it was normal...until they saw I had her hand in mine. The whole damn room lit up.

"Oh my God-"

"You two are-"

"Bout damn time-"

"This is amazing-"

Her and I glanced at each other and smiled. I pulled her close to me, to my side.

"Don't be thinking we're going on a huge double or triple something date just yet. But yeah," I glanced at her, "We're together."

"What he said," she grinned

Emily came up and hugged her. "I'm so happy for you," she said, "All of us are," she turned and hugged me too, "And you. Finally."

"Yeah yeah, save the 'I told you' so's,"

"But we did, you know, tell you," Jared grinned.

"Only a million times," Quil jumped in.

"To start," Seth laughed.

"Shut up, all of you."

Sam stood next to me, "We're all happy for you two."

"Now we'll have to hear all his thoughts about _her..._ " Leah groaned.

"Oh shut up Leah," I laughed, "We've all heard yours about Eric."

She just scowled as I turned to look at Kelly, giving me the just-be-nice look. I shrugged. Did I have to be nice to her all the time?...I mean granted one day we'll be _family_...but not yet.

The rest of the time was just laughing and conversing...well and eating. You know...normal stuff. Afterwards I took her home and we lay on the bed just like always. I went out for a quick perimeter. No sign of the leech but I stayed out for a bit to make sure. As I watched I just realized how much I owe her. I really did hurt her and even though we're happy now...it doesn't feel like I've done enough. I want to do something for her...I mean this is a big deal..you know...her and me...but what?

" _Do you have to think about her so loudly?"_

" _What are you doing out here Leah?"_

" _Keeping Eric safe. Chances are the leech might go after her family if she's well protected."_

" _He'll never touch them."_

" _Agreed."_

" _We just agreed on something?...that doesn't seem right."_

" _And yet we did….Let's not make it a habit."_

" _You know...if you weren't so annoying...you might be okay to be around."_

" _You're one to talk. I can't believe we'll be part of the same family eventually…."_

" _Stop reminding me."_

" _Just get her something. Flowers, a necklace...just pick something and stop whining."_

" _I want it to mean more than something bought in a store."_

" _So make it."_

" _Done that before."_

" _Just because whats-her-name didn't care for it doesn't mean Kelly won't. I might not be the best judge but I know Eric and Eric knows her. Just make her something that you can't just get anywhere then."_

" _Maybe I will….thanks."_

" _Yeah yeah...just next time, keep the obsessive inner monologue down."_

Before I could retort she was gone. I phased back and hopped in the window. Even though I hate to admit it, and I REALLY hate to admit it...Leah's right. Huh...I could carve her something. I mean, I did for Bells once but...maybe this time...I glanced at her, sleeping on the bed. She needs rest. Maybe...maybe I could. I popped out the window and found a halfway decent piece of wood. I hopped back in and sat over on the floor by her T.V. I pulled the blade I'd started keeping on me. With the bloodsucker around, couldn't be too careful in human form either. So I carved. It's somethin' my dad taught me. It's one of the ways we got close, other than me takin' care of him. So I carved as she slept. After a good long while, the wolf emerged. It actually looked better than the last one. It was slightly bigger and from the best I can tell looked like me when I phased. But I need to add one more thing. She'll never doubt how I feel now. I carved in _Nayeli_. As I glanced at it, it looked great but...but I felt like I needed more. So I added _yours always_ too. Now the question is….when to give it to her? She rolled over and I caught sight of goosebumps. I hid the wolf in my pocket and I leaned up next to her, warming her with my body. I sighed, glancing around the room. I grinned when I saw the dress. Of course. The wedding is almost here. I can give it then...but...well damn Leah. Again she was right. Better not tell her. I'll just get a chain and then she can wear it. God I hope she likes it. I glanced back down at her, hoping both Leah and my dad were right about this.

Another week passed with no news. Just her and me. We spend most days together when she wasn't at work but I had to watch her there too. Couldn't trust the leech to not make an appearance. Even though I am so freakin' happy...a thought ate at me. Why did she give in so easy? I was sure she'd flip...you know. Normally with big news like that...It was just weird that she accepted it. I mean, don't get me wrong I'm freakin' stoked that she did but...why do I feel like I'm the only one who wants me to make it up to her?

One day, we sat on the couch at her house. She lay on top of me [my favorite spot for her honestly]. I have no idea how she could be comfortable but at the same time I never want her to be anywhere else. And hey...she's called me a superb pillow before…

Still...it feels _wrong_ to be _this_ happy. Especially given that you know...I didn't tell her right away….for a long time…

"Why aren't you mad at me?" I asked her, glancing down, "I was so sure you'd be more pissed at me."

"For what?"

"You know...for not telling you I imprinted," I sighed, "I thought I'd have to grovel more than I have," I paused, "I really can't believe you're so fine with this. Are you sure you're not going to do the girl thing...you know...say you're fine but then let it fester and it comes back to bite me?"

"Where did you get that idea?" she chuckled, laughing and looking back at me.

"I hear things..wolf telepathy remember?," I said, "So...are you secretly figuring out ways to make me suffer? Aren't you upset?"  
"I still kinda am," she said, rolling over and looking up at me, "But only because we lost so much time. If we would have had it half the things that happened wouldn't have. But I get you needed a choice too."  
`"So you're not going to run off to the beach like normal?" I gulped, "And I'm not going to have to fall at your feet and beg for your forgiveness?"  
"As funny as it would be, no," she chuckled and shook her head, "I could be mad and throw a tantrum or I can accept that you make mistakes too, some of which I really hate, and deal with them."  
I sighed. "I'm still sorry," I said, running a hand through her hair, "I wish I wouldn't have made so many."

"I make them too," she said, entwining our fingers, "And I don't know about you but I'm kinda tired of blowing them out of proportion. We're human, you still are _too_ you know and honestly, I just want to be….happy."

"Me too," I agreed, "And are you?...you know...happy? With me?  
"Yeah," she leaned into my chest, "I never thought I could be happy like this. And you wanna know the funny part? What really helped me make my decision?"  
"What?"  
"The leech," she said, laughing. My jaw dropped as she added, "Not Drake, Edward. He told me that day what your thoughts were, well kinda, and… I don't know I guess it was kinda reassuring. I could finally see you were over Bella."  
"You don't need him to tell you anything," I replied, "I thought I made it obvious by keeping my eyes glued on you anyway...I mean geeze that damn picture…"

"What picture?"

"The one you gave me for Christmas."

"What about it?"

"Look at it again..closer...how I'm looking at you...I'm definitely blind for not seeing how crazy I've been for you."

"So all those looks you gave me...that was you being crazy about me?"

"And not even knowing it."

"You can be kinda slow sometimes," she grinned.

I leaned forward, sneaking a light kiss before I added, "You're my imprint; I'm going to tell you everything and anything on my mind for the rest of our lives. Good and bad."  
"More like the rest of mine," she said.

I raised a brow, "What are you talking about?"

She met my gaze and asked, "How does that work when you're forever young and I'll still get old?"  
She still doesn't get it. I picked up the hand in mine, kissing it before I said, "I'm still aging just really, really slowly. We're going to take care of Drake and then I'm going to stop phasing so that we can grow old together."  
"But—but you love being a wolf," she said, "You don't have to stop, not for me. So what if I get older? Age is just a number and," she bit my lip and grinned, "I already know you dig older chicks."  
I laughed hard. This girl. I rolled her underneath me. I looked down at her, seeing her eyes sparkle back at me. I will never get enough of her. She's so damn perfect. I dipped my head down, pressing my lips to hers. I felt her arms wrap around my neck. I felt the fire growing. Damn how does she do it? And then...DAMN. She ran her hands over my body and I groaned. Tiny damn electric shocks with each touch. She knows how to get me a little too well…. As we came up for air she smiled, "Careful, too much of that can lead to other things."  
NO KIDDING. It hit me like a damn truck. I want her. I don't even have to say-well you know. Normally I don't even think of that-guess everything's changing.

I grinned and sat up, pulling Kelly next to me so that we were sitting semi-normally. At least maybe I might not be so damn tempted like this...We sat quiet for a moment and she leaned into my shoulder. "Just out of curiosity…" she started to ask, "Have you ever, you know…had sex?"  
She knows who's she's talking too right? The guy who's loved **1** girl in his whole life.  
I just raised a brow then said, "The only girl I ever loved before you married a bloodsucker. What do you think?"  
"Yeah but," she shrugged, "It's the 21st century. Our age group doesn't always look for true love before they do that. Sometimes it's just about release."  
"Kel-I haven't ever gotten to second base before you," I laughed, "I guess I'm a weird one," I shrugged, "Besides, I'd rather do that with someone I care about."  
She leaned over and gave me a light kiss on the lips, "I'm glad."  
"Me too," I grinned, suddenly remembering my birthday and all that skin..., "Because I know it'll be perfect with you."  
Her cheeks flushed then she said, "So um—do we have to stay in today? Can we do something? My legs are kinda restless."  
Classic change of the subject. Too bad she's already got some damn thoughts in my head. Like her in my basement…you know...in just her bra and underwear...

"Like what?" I answered, tryin' to focus.  
"Can we maybe…go back to third beach?"  
"You sure you want to?" I gulped, "I thought after-"  
"Yeah I know," she said, "But it's still my favorite beach and honestly, I don't think I have to worry anymore right? You love me, I love you. It's perfect. Besides, it's not raining today and we only get a day that's sunny like this once in awhile."  
And just like that, we got up and got out. Who am I to turn her down? She could convince me to do anything. I literally am a puppy dog for her...PUN INTENDED.

Once at Third Beach, I watched her face light up at the Bay again. Literally, one of my favorite things...her smiling. I gently took her hand, walking with her. I led her back over to the waterfall before glancing at her. "Sorry I screwed this up the first time around," I said, "I really was trying to go for the corny romance you like. I hoped...I hoped maybe you'd still felt the same and could forgive me for takin' so damn long."  
"Everyone makes mistakes," shesaid before scooting in close to me, "And just so you know, I still think it's romantic because I'm a big sap."  
"I like you like that," I grinned, "But I like you a lot of ways…"

I like her in every damn way. They only time I haven't is when she was far away. Damn. Never like **everything** about a person before. Usually there's something that you don't but with her...not. one. damn. thing. Distracted for a second, I didn't feel her wrap her arms around me right away. Then she planted one right on me. I returned it immediately. Damn. Good to know I'm not the only one who can't get enough. Maybe she can't get enough of me either. Will either of us get used to this? I pulled her closer, lifting her up. I carried her over to a piece of driftwood and sat her down. AND THEN IT HIT ME. A scent I couldn't miss. I straightened, looking around.  
"Drake?" she asked, swallowing.  
"I can smell him."  
I touched her hand, glancing at her. "Hey...I need to phase," I said, "to warn everyone. I'm gonna need backup."  
"Okay," she nodded.

I left her standing there, going a little ways away from her before I phased.

 _He's here. Get out here now!_

I scanned around but saw nothing. Just heard him. The whoosh came as he tackled me to the ground. I growled, springing back up. Leech grinned at me and took off. I bolted after him.

 _Uh guys...could use you!_

I chased him but he zig zagged around. It was like he was always two seconds faster. Then I was ready to tear him apart ever more than before when he put his hands on her. Only for seconds before I tore off after him. I came close...so damn close to his heels. He doubled back then disappeared in the water. I stared out but then realized Kelly still stood there. I went to her in wolf form. Damn. What she must be thinking. I swear I'm going to end him. I swear. His damn days are numbered. She came right up to me, hugging me and running her hands through my fur. Her hands shook a little. Damn, she's really freaked out. I gently nudged her.

"Take me home?" she whispered, looking at me.

I have to stop this _thing_. No way is he making her feel like this. As we got back into her room, I held her, feeling her continue to shake. And then..asked the stupid question, "You okay?"  
"I'm scared," she confessed, after letting a tear fall, "I never get scared of anything but he's not giving up. Nothing's scaring him. He's not even afraid of you **right next to me**."  
"Shhh," I said, pulling her next to me. I ran my hands through her hair, caressing her face, "Don't worry, we're gonna get him," I paused, "I'm sorry I didn't today. I need the whole pack on this one…." I sighed, "But for now, I think we shouldn't go anywhere. We should probably stick at Emily's for awhile so you have more than just me for protection. If he's going to try to get to you, he'll have to take on all of us. And obviously he's not a big fan of that."  
She nodded, glancing away for a moment. She squeezed me a sec then said, "Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you-will you promise me something?"  
"Anything," I replied. Like I wouldn't give her anything...  
"If you guys _can't_ stop him-"  
"We will."  
"But if you can't," She looked up at me, "Promise me you won't let me be one of them," She kept her eyes on me then added, "I'd rather _die_ than become a leech."  
"Kelly…", I said, pausing. I couldn't believe it. How can she possibly make me agree to this? To give up all hope on her? To let her go….Is she insane? She's my everything-  
"Promise me," she begged.

I saw it in her eyes. Fear. She's afraid all because we haven't killed him yet. Now she wants me to promise to kill her, instead of being turned. I mean-I will never let it come down to that. I will always keep her away but even if she'd been bitten I don't know if I _could_ do that...She stared at me, waiting. I sighed, gulping, "I promise."

I promise it will NEVER come down to that.

She ran her hands up my arms, damn electric shocks were back. Her eyes raised to mine again as she said, "Do we have to go tonight...or can it wait one more?"  
I raised a brow. "Why would you want to stay here one more night if he's already been after you?" I asked. It didn't make sense. Why stay when her safety's at risk-Then she was kissing me. Not just a little kissing me. REALLY kissing me. Not only that, she pressed her body against me in a way I hadn't felt before. Let me just say...different parts of me noticed. DAMN, I kissed her for a sec but then pushed her back slowly.

"Whoa," I said, glancing down at her, "Slow down."  
"Sorry I just," she paused, "I know you guys will get rid of Drake, I do...but I can't help but feeling like he's always going to get in our way. He already is right _now_ and I don't want him to," she paused then added, "I love you Jake and... like I said, I just want to be happy," she paused, "I'm sorry, if you want to wait I'm not gonna rush you."  
"It's not that part that's buggin' me," I replied, "Why the rush all of a sudden? I just don't want it if it's just because of Drake."

I leaned in, giving her a soft kiss. As I pulled back slightly, I looked at her, "If it's gonna happen, I want it to be because we both want it to."  
"I _do_ want it to," she said, "And not because of him, well not fully. I want you... and have wanted you for a long time," she looked down, "I guess I just was kinda hoping you felt the same."  
IS SHE FREAKIN' KIDDING RIGHT NOW? She thinks that-oh hell no. I pulled her chin up into my kiss but not like before. This time I pulled her close to me, and honestly...took her damn breath away. No way she's walking away from this thinking I don't want her..you know...like _that._ She held my arms tight as I gently snuck my tongue in. She let me...and I didn't stop. I gently lifted her in my arms as we kissed, laying her back on her bed and staying right on top of her. The heat was back. I couldn't stop it. I felt like a damn blaze but I kept it going. I felt her wrap her legs around me. Damn. This is going farther than I thought. I know I should stop but damn I kinda don't wanna. She's here...underneath me...looking so damn sexy with the fully-kissed-hair-everywhere-look. When she started to lift her shirt up I snapped back to reality. I smiled, pulling away from her a sec. "I think that's good enough practice for tonight," I panted and grinned.  
"Tease," She said with a grin.  
You have no damn idea. I went in one more time, lingering a few seconds before scooting off the bed, Don't know if I can control myself much longer…

"Ok, I guess we can go to Emily's," she sighed.

Damn it I'm disappointed to. Damn me for being-you know-honorable or something like that.

"Glad you're so easy to convince," I said, grinning, "Guess I'll just have to kiss you more often."

She scooted off the bed, standing next to me as she said, "But teasing is not nice. I may just have to return that favor."  
"You've already teased me," I said.  
"When?" she raised a brow.

She doesn't remember? How the hell could I ever forget….  
I stepped closer, pulling her in close.

"That night when you stripped down in my basement," I said, "I didn't get a lot of sleep that night. Not thinking about you in barely anything."  
"That was the bed's fault," she chuckled, "Not me."  
"Not entirely," I grinned, taking her in up and down.

"Okay, okay," she grinned, "Let's go."


End file.
